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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Social worker visit?

116 replies

rabbitheadlights · 07/05/2020 09:54

Hi all,

I'm much more of a lurker than a poster so hopefully I won't say the wrong thing and get myself into trouble.

Our social worker arranged a visit for yesterday, when we discussed it on the phone she said it may be awkward for the kids as she'd be wearing PPE etc.. However she turned up at 9 am (feeding time at the zoo). My partner went to the door as I was busy in the kitchen and then in she strolled, not a scrap of ppe in sight, no gloves, no face mask!! Kids all saying hi etc . I was so worried I wanted to scream get out!! But she's in now so the damage is done. When she left I asked my DP what in earth he was thinking letting her in like that? He said " I know, I was worried too.but you can't refuse entry to these people because they will just make things difficult for us!!" For context he's a recovering alcoholic and is doing well, she wandered all round the house, went upstairs to chat with my daughter etc ... I just don't know what to do, we have literally been in the house since all this started except for me going to get groceries as my son is vulnerable and all for what? She could have brought anything in especially if she has been visiting other people the same way??

So my aibu is this aibu to think he shouldn't have let her in? Or is he right that with people like SW etc you have to just go with it and keep your mouth shut?

OP posts:
CodenameVillanelle · 07/05/2020 12:38

I think your final paragraph is unfortunately accurate. If anyone stands up to them they go into revenge mode

Oh really you can just do one 🙄

Original poster
rabbitheadlights · 07/05/2020 12:40

@Dialdownthedrama

Sorry I meant how to ask MN to remove the thread

OP posts:
BigChocFrenzy · 07/05/2020 12:52

I'd phone to ask why she didn't wear PPE as promised

Say you understand if PPE was suddenly no available, but then ask them to plan what they do on visits to minimise the risk to your family

e.g. no sitting, or touching surfaces
Maybe meeting the kids in the garden

SaskiaRembrandt · 07/05/2020 13:06

Sorry I meant how to ask MN to remove the thread

Go to your first post and click report, it will take you to a page that lets you ask for it to be deleted.

Schuyler · 07/05/2020 13:21

It appears to vary between areas. We have a good stock of PPE and we are expected to wear masks, gloves and eye wear, if visiting. This is mainly to protect the individuals from us as we work with a population who are likely to be at high risk of harm from covid.

You would not be unreasonable to contact your SW and provide feedback. It doesn’t have to be a complaint, as such. You can feed back that you would prefer X, Y and Z. During this pandemic, you are absolutely not being unreasonable to expect a professional who is going into multiple households, to ensure your health is protected.

Don’t go in all guns blazing, calmly explain your very valid concerns and ask how you all can move forward safely. Ignore the “revenge” comment. Hmm I’ve never taken revenge on anybody, even those who are known to make spurious complaints about everything and everyone. It’s my job and I have to deal with that. I treat everyone the same, whether they offer me a cup of tea and slice of cake or greet me with a string of expletives. I can’t think of a colleague who would take revenge. Of course we get upset and frustrated, we are humans, that’s why we have supervision and formal support.

Anyway, in summary, just saying, I would fully support you speaking to her to ask how you can protect everyone during future visits.

Original poster
rabbitheadlights · 07/05/2020 13:32

I sent an email saying this

Do you know what is going to happen in relation to visits going forward? Since you left I've been a little anxious as I had been expecting you to wear PPE as you had said on the phone and wether that was unavailable or not I don't know, but my anxiety has gone into overdrive because I keep thinking what if one of us is asymptomatic and then you were to visit someone really vulnerable. We haven't been anywhere except for the supermarket since all this started because I worry about DS1 although he doesn't have a diagnosis yet it's definitely an issue with his chest. Sorry I probably sound neurotic but my anxiety has always been in relation to health and it's taken me a little by suprise to be honest.

Going forward I can try to order some masks etc online if that's necessary?

does this sound ok?

OP posts:
Bathbedandbeyond · 07/05/2020 13:35

You should report this, she was probably directed to attend by her manager so you need to make a formal complaint so that her employers review their procedures.

CodenameVillanelle · 07/05/2020 13:37

That sounds absolutely fine. Let's hope she was just thoughtless and will apologise.

BigChocFrenzy · 07/05/2020 13:43

I'd avoid ever saying you are "neurotic"

MitziK · 07/05/2020 13:46

Sounds absolutely fine.

Thinking about it, it's possible that she didn't wear anything because a previous client/children had become very distressed at somebody wanting to come in wearing full PPE and she was advised not to do it again.

After all, I don't think it would be appropriate for her to have conversations about safeguarding/private health matters in the front garden where anybody could hear; she's needing to maintain privacy, continue looking for signs of people struggling and not terrify children in the process - it's a difficult balancing act where your concerns, totally justified as they are, are in direct opposition to the concerns of the last family she visited.

WindowsSmindows · 07/05/2020 13:50

I wouldn't email that. It could be used against you. Let it go.

Dialdownthedrama · 07/05/2020 13:50

@rabbitheadlights Shit, sorry, it seemed you were querying why you might be considered high risk and not how to delete your other thread.

Posters have told you how to.

Your email seems fine to me.

CodenameVillanelle · 07/05/2020 13:51

I wouldn't email that. It could be used against you. Let it go.

No, it really won't

okiedokieme · 07/05/2020 14:11

It seems fair and balanced to me. Contrary to popular belief social workers are keen on keeping families together, they will completely understand your position as regards your dc, and your offer to provide ppe is a polite one

Jellycatspyjamas · 07/05/2020 14:27

That’s perfectly fine, there’s nothing in what you’ve said that would concern me and might allow her to source some support for you with health anxiety as well as agreeing a way forward for future visits.

kazillionaire · 07/05/2020 14:46

I would complain and they should take the complaint seriously, they shouldn't make life difficult for you as they rules to follow but if you felt their treatment of you changed afterwards then go to the head of children's services in your area and they would look in to it, to be honest social workers have so many people they need to support at the moment I don't think they would have the time or energy to make anything awkward for you

HeIenaDove · 07/05/2020 14:53

Running out or not getting given PPE is NO EXCUSE for lying about it beforehand knowing that the client/customer/tenant will feel pressured to let you in anyway because of the power balance Its happening with gas safety engineers as well.

DamnYankee · 07/05/2020 15:19

I'd simply tell her you are not comfortable with what she did. She may have been concerned about scaring the kids. I'm sure she'll comply after this. If not, then I would complain. If she has a rapport with your kids, I'd give her a chance to remedy her mistake.
I wouldn't focus on your DP at the moment.

Schuyler · 07/05/2020 17:42

@HelenaDove

You’ve assumed she lied. Hmm SW was totally unreasonable but you have no idea if she later found out there was no stock of PPE. I still think the SW was wrong to attend without PPE but to accuse her of lying is supposition.

MadameBee · 07/05/2020 17:52

SW here.

We are doing most “visits” over Skype etc.

We have PPE and we are not going into houses if we need to see the children we will do it from the front door at a distance of 2 metres.

MadameBee · 07/05/2020 17:52

Even CP cases we aren’t going in.

Schuyler · 07/05/2020 18:56

@MadameBee

Oh that’s interesting. We are an adults team but still going to visit, where appropriate.
I’m shielding so doing video assessments and reviews which is hard.

CodenameVillanelle · 07/05/2020 19:22

We are doing most visits over Skype too but occasionally we do need to go into houses. We have PPE for those visits.

RuffleCrow · 07/05/2020 19:27

It's weird that she said all that stuff about ppe and turned up without.

ChristmasFluff · 07/05/2020 22:06

This thread shows just how nonsensical the recommendations from government are.

The entire population is in lockdown and social distancing. EXCEPT the most vulnerable in care homes, where it is fine for any Tom Dick or Harry, who happens to work there, to go in and be around them more closely than 2m - unless they are doing personal care etc. Absolutely this puts them at risk. If being within 2m of someone doesn't put them at risk, then what the hell are we all doing??

Ditto with the OP. Everyone would be up in arms if she had her a relative around and let her into her house to act like the socialworker did. But because of 'guidelines' it is ok for a social worker to do it. A professional who is presumably not social distancing or using PPE with other clients either, and so is more likely to be carrying something than a family member in lockdown.

This is not a criticism of the OP at all. We all should be able to trust professionals. But why are those professionals happily following guidelines that make no sense?