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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Will you be seeing your family if lockdown is relaxed?

335 replies

CandleFlames · 06/05/2020 19:16

If lockdown is relaxed on Monday, will you see your family from other households again? I had a baby last month and none of my family have met him and I’m in two minds whether to stay isolating or to let them meet him if the rules change.

OP posts:
lyralalala · 07/05/2020 00:27

PS Sturgeon needs to realise that she is irrelevant.

She's not remotely irrelevant. Health is a devolved issue so she, Mark Drakeford, Arlene Foster and their respective parliment and assemblies will be deciding what happens in their nations.

mouldygrapes · 07/05/2020 00:41

Infection rates don’t mean anything as we were not testing

Yep, as I said, we weren’t testing as much back then so there’s no comparator. You think 4000+ new infections per day is insignificant and a signal to unlock?

The death rate is falling and that’s all that matters

Still 400+ per day. Worst death toll in Europe. Second worst in the world. But it’s falling, so that’s all that matters?

mouldygrapes · 07/05/2020 00:49

Sorry, 600+ deaths per day

Toomuchspinach · 07/05/2020 00:49

Yes it’s falling. It’s declining. I’d like to know which of those 400 has serious health issues and we’re already actually dying. Just because you had COVID when you died doesn’t mean you died of it.

Nightingale hospitals will be closing next week as they are empty.

This is good news.

Qgardens · 07/05/2020 00:59

Only in the garden and 2m apart. Will also be very careful with cups. May encourage bringing own.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 07/05/2020 01:01

Yes. I miss them. I've been isolating for weeks now and the family members I want to see have too

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 07/05/2020 01:07

100% yes I will be seeing immediate family. My baby is 4 weeks old today and no one other than me or my husband has had cuddles with him and it breaks my heart. Mega close to my family and little boy was 3 years in the making with ivf. I can’t wait for my mum and sister and DH mum and dad to meet him.

terrelontane · 07/05/2020 01:08

I know my DH will want to go and see his grandchild, but I really don't want him to as the child's parents are less than responsible and have not been isolating as they should have. Don't think I'll be able to stop him though.

lyralalala · 07/05/2020 01:13

We have SIL's kids staying with us and we'll be seeing their Grandmother the first chance we have. We've been being super careful and she's been isolating. We just didn't have the space or facilities for her to stay with us or we'd have been seeing her regularly.

We won't be seeing BIL & SIL as SIL has decided they are only going to see 10 people max for the next few months and that will be her parents and step-parents and her siblings. They apparently all itching to meet her baby. MIL has other Grandkids so she'll just have to wait.

mouldygrapes · 07/05/2020 01:14

I’d like to know which of those 400 has serious health issues and we’re already actually dying Just because you had COVID when you died doesn’t mean you died of it

Some will have had underlying health issues. Doesn’t mean they were “already dying”.
Having an underlying health condition, doesn’t mean you were already going to die this year. There is clearly an excess of mortality over and above the usual rates for the UK. And what about the key workers who have died? This is not a trivial infection.

The Nightingales aren’t being closed - they’re being stood down. I agree it’s good we don’t need them now but that doesn’t mean they won’t ever be needed in some capacity. It is foolish to be complacent at this stage

DressingGownofDoom · 07/05/2020 01:18

I'll probably go and visit my sister and let DS play with his cousins. But older members of the family I will stay at a distance/have a chat through the window.

ineedaholidaynow · 07/05/2020 01:21

Underlying conditions don’t mean you were ready to die and you just contracted the virus before you died.

BarbedBloom · 07/05/2020 03:43

Nope. I am shielding due to immune suppressants and asthma. My mother and father are both vulnerable too and DH's parents are over 70 so shielding. I doubt I will be seeing any of them any time soon.

Bluesheep8 · 07/05/2020 06:59

I don't see how I can. My father is in a care home and my mum is over 70.

blankethog · 07/05/2020 07:06

No, there's a shielded family member in each individual home that my family lives in:( i don't know when I'll be able to see them.

YgritteSnow · 07/05/2020 07:16

No. I'm not fussed. We didn't see each other that much before. They're talking about having a family bbq when it's allowed. I'll be the misery not attending because the truth is, part of me has liked not being expected to hammer up the motorway every few months and I am just not desperate to see anyone.

Sipperskipper · 07/05/2020 07:21

Yes. My mum is higher risk (diabetic, overweight) and I am pregnant, due in August. Have obviously been missing my parents and desperate to see them, but also, when I have the baby, DD (nearly 3) will be staying with them. It’s not fair for her to not see my mum for months, then suddenly have to spend days away from me with her, so I need to keep up their relationship.

We are all being v careful (haven’t been anywhere except very isolated walks) - mum is retired and dad works shifts in an office alone. My DH is working from home. Trying to be as safe as we can to manage it.

Toomuchspinach · 07/05/2020 08:17

Mouldy I don’t think it’s a trivial virus. But death certificates are not being truthful. Very sick people who were dying of other illness and now being classed as COVID deaths.

My grandmother in law is in hospital dying of cancer - it’s bad and she may pass soon but if she contracts COVID whilst in there it will be documented as a COVID death. It’s awful as no one is allowed to see her. She will pass not having her family there. She hasn’t got COVID and neither have we. What’s the point in that?

I think Sweden have handled it brilliantly.

moveandmove · 07/05/2020 08:27

No, I'm not bothered about seeing family at all.

RonSwansonIsBuff · 07/05/2020 08:43

I'll be on the way to my mum's before the briefing has even finished. I can't wait for a hug.

She's not over 70 or in a vulnerable category though so I could understand why you'd still be hesitant if yours were.

NaughtyLittleElf · 07/05/2020 08:46

I've seen my mother when I've dropped off shopping. I'll be seeing DP as soon as possible, he lives about 12 miles away so I haven't seen him during lockdown.

mouldygrapes · 07/05/2020 08:54

@Toomuchspinach and many many people will have died of covid without a test so won’t be counted as covid deaths, or died suddenly so didn’t have time for testing. If anything the death toll will be under rather than overestimated. Every time they update the ONS statistics there’s an increase.

I’m sorry about your grandmother

PurBal · 07/05/2020 09:05

A family member died last week (may have been COVID-19, we don't know, she was due a test but it never came) and the funeral is in a few weeks. So yes, but whether it'll be more than just at the socially distant funeral or not I'm not sure.

Comps83 · 07/05/2020 09:11

No
The numbers are still too high
I can't see why anything has changed and the risk is still high
I think it will just kick it off again and we'll get a 2nd peak

TrashPanda · 07/05/2020 09:57

I will find this so difficult because DP is still going out to work every day so although he's taking precautions etc. we can't be sure what he's bringing home. My mum is in the shielding group and really not coping well with it, she also used to have DS3 overnight once a week and collect the older ones from school which she hasn't been able to do. She is missing the kids enormously and would love to see them but I don't know if I can risk that health wise. Seeing DPs side would be less risky health wise but I'm not sure I can do that to my mum who would be heartbroken if I took them visiting family but not her, no matter how valid the health concerns behind my decision.