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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Are you still clapping for the NHS/key workers every week?

336 replies

Emcont · 06/05/2020 18:13

Yabu - No
Yanbu - Yes

OP posts:
Hunnybears · 08/05/2020 09:01

@HollySideEyes

Yep but the same could be said for those I’ve been debating with? Funny how you you just pick up on the one side though eh...?!!

@Peggysgettingcrazy

You’ve highlighted a bit and had your say.... and it was my response to another poster for goodness sake.

I can’t see you want to have the final say, but at least quote me properly if that’s your aim otherwise it looks rather foolish.

@Willow2017
Because I said I can’t understand why people would rather not. I’m allowed to wonder why and state my opinion in the sane way those that do can question why I think that.

Some people jumped on it and said I must feel superior and again with the circles I said that’s not the case. I think it’s a shame/sad.

Maybelatte · 08/05/2020 09:12

I never have done, I find it quite a bizarre concept.

user1471505356 · 08/05/2020 09:40

It's the highlight of my week, I get to see my neighbours.

Peggysgettingcrazy · 08/05/2020 09:55

You’ve highlighted a bit and had your say.... and it was my response to another poster for goodness sake.

It was a judgmental post that I decided to challenge. Its a public forum. If you don't like it, maybe you shouldn't post your judgemental opinions.

Yep but the same could be said for those I’ve been debating with? Funny how you you just pick up on the one side though eh...?!

Its not though. As usual you have read her post and not understood it......or just made up what you want it to say.

I can’t see you want to have the final say, but at least quote me properly if that’s your aim otherwise it looks rather foolish.

I have quoted you correctly. You didnt say you don't understand. You made a value judgement. You just can not handle that people have pointed out that, your point of view means you are judgemental and, for you, clapping is mainly for show.

Livelovebehappy · 08/05/2020 10:00

Keir Starmer spoke for a lot of the virtue signallers during his unfortunate ‘gotcha’ episode yesterday, when he said to the camera guy ‘have you got what you need?’. A lot of people do it for their own benefit, to appear great guys to everyone else, rather than really showing genuine appreciation of the NHS.

PoppyFleur · 08/05/2020 10:03

I live in a Tory stronghold and I have to say the clapping slightly jars (irritates me immensely). I value the NHS hugely, also teachers, Carers, the police...which is why I voted against a political party trying to obliterate them. I hope the clapping extends to action at the voting booths.

It will be a cold day in hell before I forgive Hunt and his ilk for what they did to junior doctors, nurses and consultants. The very people that are and have, laid their lives on the line for us.

Wherearemyminions · 08/05/2020 10:38

Been mulling over this some more and think one of my main issues with the way that the clapping has escalated is that it's just so performative, it's like the real life version of changing your Facebook profile picture to the latest "cause" or "event" and about as meaningful and useful.

It reminds me of back when Diana died and lots of people made a big song and dance about it with public grieving, it took on a life of it's own and I suspect most of the people were just swept up in it and didn't want to be seen as "not caring" Since then, with SM, these competitive displays have just become worse and what started out as quite a nice idea for those who wanted to join in has become just the latest trend and is fast losing any real meaning.

avroroad · 08/05/2020 10:46

Keir Starmer spoke for a lot of the virtue signallers during his unfortunate ‘gotcha’ episode yesterday, when he said to the camera guy ‘have you got what you need?’.

It wasn't an 'unfortunate gotcha' episode.

Do you know what happened?

Willow2017 · 08/05/2020 10:47

Because I said I can’t understand why people would rather not

No you said you thought people who didnt "couldnt be arsed" or "didnt want to show thier aporeciation"
Thats a huge difference.

If you cant remember what you said maybe re-read your own posts?

No point in any discussion when you keep changing your own words.

Lordfrontpaw · 08/05/2020 10:48

avroroad - I saw a tweet from someone saying they were the cameraman and he said that as he was trying to get his daughter over from the other side of the road and wanted a clear path. Who knows?

Horsemad · 08/05/2020 12:05

Totally agree with what @Wherearemyminions said.

Namechangervaver · 08/05/2020 12:24

Keir Starmer spoke for a lot of the virtue signallers during his unfortunate ‘gotcha’ episode yesterday, when he said to the camera guy ‘have you got what you need?’.

Erm, he asked the camera man if he'd got what he needed, as in: 'can you get out of my garden now please?'. Hardly a gotcha episode 🙄Hmm

Hunnybears · 08/05/2020 12:34

@Peggysgettingcrazy

You weren’t replying to my message to you, but you thought you were. You fluffed that one up.

Equally I’m as entitled to my opinions as you are so will continue to contribute 😁

It would appear most people don’t do it on this particular thread, so it stands to reason you’ll have ‘supporters’. Would be completely differently had the title of the thread.

If people never went to clap even once, clearly they are not interested in doing it. It’s a fact not a judgment.

Also I’m not talking about those that have stopped doing it as they feel it’s getting too much ie fireworks, pots and pans etc or those that have reasons for not doing.

It’s like partaking during a minutes silence. I’d be shocked if anyone would say they never have done it and never will. They are both marks of respect to honour those that have sacrificed and are risking their lives- how can’t you see the comparison?

Would you continue to talk/work etc during it? Or would you partake in it? If you would partake it then how is that different? By saying you wouldn’t do it and never have, says far more about them than anyone else!! If you do partake then that makes it hypocritical anyway.

The ‘clapping’ is irrelevant. It could be bowing your head at the front door, it’s the sentiment behind it.

Peggysgettingcrazy · 08/05/2020 12:46

If people never went to clap even once, clearly they are not interested in doing it. It’s a fact not a judgment.

The judgement is the 'the cant be arsed' and 'i assume they don't care' you do not seem to have grasp of the meaning of a lot of words

The ‘clapping’ is irrelevant. It could be bowing your head at the front door, it’s the sentiment behind it.

No the clapping isn't like the minutes silence at all. The minutes silence, is time to reflect. Its something people choose to do and something that let's people reflect their own thoughts.

And ita not somethomg that only counts if its done on your doorstep.

Its never about being seen. Its never been a case of you kust do it publically, or it doesn't count. Or about being seen to do it.

Or judging people who dont do it pubically. Or making out that unless you do it to an audience its meaningless.

As I have said, I am not against clapping. Go ahead and clap.

Its about the people who think it makes the morally superior.

It makes them better than other

They do it only to be seen doing it, so its self serving

That unless you do it as a public performance, you don't care.

If someone chooses to not partake in the silences that's up to them. I wouldn't agree with them trying to stop someone else doing it or interrupting someone else doing it.

But I certainly wouldn't be OK with people who did the silence on their doorstep today, shaming their neighbours who weren't on their doorstep. Or making out that they care more because they did it as a performance. Or generally thinking they are morally superior because they did it publically.

Thats poor behaviour. Its shitty behaviour. Its also factually incorrect.

Clap on your doorstep. Do silences on your doorstep. But accept your judgements are incorrect. And that your public gesture is, at least in part, self serving

pontiouspilates · 08/05/2020 12:47

I am nhs, work with covid patients and am usually on shift until just before 8pm on a Thursday. Yesterday we were requested to stay on until 8pm to clap, with a fire engine and a police car present. The CEO of the Trust turned up, with some others from Trust HQ and the whole thing felt like a stunt for the Trusts social media accounts. I feel that the initial goodwill of this gesture has turned into a bit of a virtual signalling sham tbh.

Hunnybears · 08/05/2020 12:47

*No you said you thought people who didnt "couldnt be arsed" or "didnt want to show thier aporeciation"
Thats a huge difference.
If you cant remember what you said maybe re-read your own posts?

No point in any discussion when you keep changing your own words*

Give over- it all means much of the same thing. If people have never bothered with it without a reason, I do wonder why? Therefore I assume they simply can’t be bothered with it, dont want to do it, can’t be bothered/arsed. It’s all the same thing!

PorpentiaScamander · 08/05/2020 12:49

A friend of mine who is very vocal on SM about how they arent clapping "just to be seen like everyone else" but because they genuinely support the NHS (not sure why her clap is more genuine than anyone else) posted videos of her DC out with pots and pans this week so they could "be louder". Apparently because the noise doesn't wake her toddler, and her older DD who has autism isnt upset by it, then no ones toddlers or children with asd are upset. I can guarantee though that when normal life resumes she will be back to moaning about her neighbours if they dare to speak above a whisper in their own gardens after about 7pm

Hunnybears · 08/05/2020 13:06

@Peggysgettingcrazy

You keep bringing it back to everyone that claps must be doing it for some sort of show, or as a sign of self worth and that it makes them feel superior.

That’s tarring everyone with the same brush and extremely judgmental. Considering your whole argument has been you don’t want to be judged on something you chose not to do. Again, hypocrisy at its finest 🤔

The sentiment behind the minutes silence and the capping is absolutely the same. Yes you can do the minutes silence at home and reflect without anyone seeing and of course it’s not for show because it’s honouring the fallen.

The whole point of the clapping being at the front door and in public is to show your appreciation to those that are living and working there currently. To clap so people can hear you- that’s the point so they can see their community is behind them in the hope it gives them a little boost.

It was a gesture asked of us. It would mean going outside and they probably thought that would be a good way to increase community moral as people won’t have seen a soul.

BirdieFriendReturns · 08/05/2020 13:08

Oh well, some anonymous person is angry at me for not clapping.

I’ll go and self-flagellate now.

Hunnybears · 08/05/2020 13:09

@Peggysgettingcrazy

And you’re right, some people maybe do only do it for shoe and self worth but I don’t. I couldn’t care in no one sees me, but if they can hear claps from our direction then that’s enough for me.

I don’t need to go marching up the street with a one man band and a whistle knocking on all the doors whilst setting off firecrackers!!!

Roselilly36 · 08/05/2020 13:14

My neighbours still are, I am probably being slated for not doing so, it’s not that I don’t respect the NHS, just at 8pm I am usually in bed (I have a disability) I also think a government pay rise would be a far better reward.

Peggysgettingcrazy · 08/05/2020 13:22

You keep bringing it back to everyone that claps must be doing it for some sort of show, or as a sign of self worth and that it makes them feel superior.
No it hasn't.

And you know it

And you’re right, some people maybe do only do it for shoe and self worth but I don’t. I couldn’t care in no one sees me, but if they can hear claps from our direction then that’s enough for me.

Not what you said before.

Hunnybears · 08/05/2020 13:30

Not what you said before

Pretty sure I did.....

Livelovebehappy · 08/05/2020 14:26

namechangervaver erm... if he didn’t want a cameraman in his garden, then don’t invite him? That’s the point of my comment - why do you need an audience. I’m sure the camera guy didn’t venture into the garden uninvited; was obviously there as part of a photo opportunity set up by Keir himself. And saying he wanted it to end so he could get his daughter back from over the road - really? Presumably he had plenty of time to get his daughter before the clap - not as if it was unexpected. 8pm every Thursday 🙄

Willow2017 · 08/05/2020 14:49

Give over- it all means much of the same thing. If people have never bothered with it without a reason, I do wonder why? Therefore I assume they simply can’t be bothered with it, dont want to do it, can’t be bothered/arsed. It’s all the same thing!

Are you really that dense?
It doesnt mean the same at all.
You have no idea why someone doesnt clap but you assume thier reason is because they cant be arsed. Thats you judging someone else.
Assuming something about other people is pretty arrogant.

What you said was clear and simple. It takes a lot of effort to twist it into something else you must be tired doing it over and over again.

You are sounding like a stuck record give it a rest.

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