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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Customers in supermarket queues buying 2 items

774 replies

justasking111 · 06/05/2020 14:13

After a week of emptying cupboards reluctantly went out this morning. Standing in Tesco queue, two over 70s ladies behind me. one had given the other a lift. What do you need the driver said, oh just some cheese and a newspaper. They were not switched on by social distancing either despite the clear marks on the pavement.

Now I do think if you are over 70 and determined to get out well on your head be it. But for two items, for christs sake.

AIBU I being unreasonable to think that if you go to a supermarket it is to seriously stock up not for 2 items?

OP posts:
CaliforniaMountainSnake · 06/05/2020 15:01

You should probably mind your business and concentrate on your own life.

Oh and FYI, the guidelines say you can go out for a paper.

I went out today and just bought milk. Are you going to shop me in to the lockdown police too.

Ellievision · 06/05/2020 15:02

The over-70s have not been asked to shield. Those with specific conditions who have been deemed extremely vulnerable have been asked to shield.

The over-70s without other conditions are merely vulnerable (as am I, a pregnant woman). Vulnerable people have been asked to be particularly mindful of the guidelines, but the rules are the same.

I can’t get a delivery slot for love or money, so sometimes I do need to go to the shops. I don’t have a car, and I can’t carry a whole week’s load of essentials by myself.

I am lucky that my partner is not vulnerable so does the vast, vast majority of our shopping. The over 70s are more likely to be living alone or with other vulnerable people and so don’t have that luxury.

Yeah, they probably could have picked up a few more things and saved another trip, but oh well. Two senior health advisors have resigned because they didn’t follow the guidelines - we’re all human and fallible.

Cloudiay · 06/05/2020 15:03

Sometimes I just go into the shop for whole milk, or for some greek yoghurt if we have run out. I'm such a rebel.

1forsorrow · 06/05/2020 15:04

I think the govt might need some oldies to lead us all out of isolation as everyone is so scared. It will be a bit like Moses leading the Israelites out of slavery, he was old as well. Hope the journey doesn't like quite as long.

FlibbertyGiblets · 06/05/2020 15:04

OP they were doing it All Wrong and you are the Queen of Lockdown and a shining example of how to do it properly. Or something.

tillyteatowel · 06/05/2020 15:04

When we do online deliveries they will sometimes not have one or two things we need for the meals we’ve planned so DH has to buy those things. he isn’t going to buy loads of other random crap just to justify being in a shop.

Cloudiay · 06/05/2020 15:04

@Ellievision if you want to try for a slot, try Asda at 10pm. It usually says website busy cannot load slots, but usually a few minutes after 10 there are plenty for the day they are releasing. If you have trouble sleeping then 1am is good as well when people don't check their baskets out in time so lose their slots.

Fluffybutter · 06/05/2020 15:05

Leave people be , you can control what you do , not what others do .
Stop being a martyr

ParkheadParadise · 06/05/2020 15:06

Who cares what people buy.

StatisticalSense · 06/05/2020 15:06

If you're going to go out for a handful of items that are not exactly obscure its better for everyone if you head to a smaller shop, which is less likely to have a queue to get in. The problem with people going out for one of two items isn't that it breaks the guidelines but rather than it slows the queues to get into the shop down for everyone else meaning that the weekly shop ends up taking even longer.

1forsorrow · 06/05/2020 15:06

Sometimes I just go into the shop for whole milk, or for some greek yoghurt if we have run out. I'm such a rebel. You are and you've probably killed millions. I went mad today and went to Lidl and bought a pastel de nata, been longing for one for weeks and today I caved. Shop was almost empty, paid at self service till and I'm not far off 70 so I've probably killed billions. I'm a rebel as well, Wolfie Smith was a hero of mine.

Lynda07 · 06/05/2020 15:06

I see nothing wrong if someone is out for a walk and they pass a shop they go in to buy a couple of things. We are actually allowed to go out, you know. The person may have run out of cheese, something I don't like running out of, frankly. My food is delivered and I haven't been out for ages but if and when I do venture out for a walk I'd think nothing of calling into a shop. You are just looking for something to complain about, op. Not uncommon these days I fear. Moan about BoJo instead.

BirdieFriendReturns · 06/05/2020 15:07

A few weeks ago, certain posters were “literally sobbing and shaking” at the thought of people only popping in to buy “non-essentials.”

😂

Thighmageddon · 06/05/2020 15:07

Ffs, I'm in the only leave the house for certain reasons camp but even my dh who is the only one shopping will go in to a second shop to buy two items if the first shop didn't have what was on the list.

His dp are going to the shop when they need something and they're in their 70s.

Legoandloldolls · 06/05/2020 15:07

Haven't read the full thread but that isn't true. Matt Hancock has been banging on about it since Sunday

Did he? Genuine question honestly I'm not trying to be a arsehole. Is this a u turn? I am sure I told my mum she shouldn't be farting around daily in Tesco with the masses at 76.

I feel like I'm going crazy!

Btw I did decide early on to not go down to help her and cancelled the online shops for her as she was going out still, it was therefore pointless and shes a adult.

She is suffering with (shoot me now for being ageist) falling over.

Im sure if she used MN she would be on here calling me an ageist wanker for being concerned. I'm.glad I left her to fend herself after reading this.

RibenaMonsoon · 06/05/2020 15:07

You haven't answered a question from another poster earlier. Whether you asked the ladies to take a step back?
Or did you silently seethe, say nothing and slag off later on to all who will listen?

All it would have taken is "could you step back please? We are meant to be 2 metres apart." Job done.

Why they were out and what they needed was none of your business.

Deux · 06/05/2020 15:08

You can buy a newspaper every day and only a newspaper despite what some posters on Mumsnet say.

Furthermore newspapers are considered essential as a means of conveying news and information.

MissHoskins · 06/05/2020 15:10

And here....we observe a dementor in their natural habitat. .......the supermarket, where she notices two elderly specimens.
BREAKING THE RULES.
👏👏⭐️⭐️ Well done op, you've obeyed the RULES and those two old women haven't.
♟♟

GoGadgetGo · 06/05/2020 15:10

I think you need to mind your own business. Whether they go for one item or fifteen, it has nothing to do with you. Just go and do your shop and not worry about others.

AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 06/05/2020 15:10

I've (appeared to) be doing this because I've gone to one supermarket and they've had all but a couple of vital items, so I've had to go to another to top up...

Brefugee · 06/05/2020 15:10

A lot of over 70s have been staying home and doing nothing apart from the odd bit of shopping for a long time now. A lot of them are going a bit stir crazy and you'd begrudge them a small thing like this? Mental health is still health and it is important to strike a balance.

The casual ageism here on MN is something to behold. When you're 70 see how you'd like it.

GinNotGym19 · 06/05/2020 15:11

When you’ve got that man whose idea it was to Lockdown having a married woman over for sex who cares what people care buying in the supermarket!
This whole competitive lockdown and who can out isolate everyone else is incredibly boring. Same as the people that go out then moan they see other people outside!
Yabu judging people for what you see is a worthy excuse to go to the shops

TriangleBingoBongo · 06/05/2020 15:11

You could have said that about me yesterday OP. I didn’t get everything in my click and collect and went to the Co-op to top up 4 items. I do my elderly neighbours shop too and those 4 items were half his shop! I didn’t feel ok with him not having 50% of his weekly shop (bar milk which he gets delivered).

EveryLifeHasASoundtrack · 06/05/2020 15:12

It isn't compulsory and just because someone reaches the age of 70 does not give you are anyone else to treat them like children.

To be fair the over 70s I know are behaving like children though. They’ve been advised to do something for a valid reason and they have a tantrum and do the opposite. They’ve been advised to isolate and none of the ones I know are. They’re going out more than ever and ignoring the 2m distancing rules when they’re out. Actually it’s an insult to most children, I’ve always found if you explain things reasonably to children, they generally comply, unlike the over 70s in my life. If only they were only putting themselves at risk, that might actually be a good thing all round.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 06/05/2020 15:13

Maybe they didn't want to 'bother' someone else, to ask them to pick up just two things, @justasking111. Or maybe they don't like asking for help, because they fear losing their independence. Or, as others have said, maybe someone is doing most of their shopping for them, and they had run out of cheese so decided to pick up that, and a paper at the same time, and to get out of the house at the same time.

So I wouldn't have a massive problem with them buying just a couple of items - but I do think you have a point about the social distancing - that would worry me too.