To feel annoyed that DH arranged to meet a friend for a walk?

[Overseasmom100]

Said he was walking to the shops yesterday whilst I worked from home. Thought ok that's good freshair exercise etc. That evening I find out he'd arranged or his friend arranged it...to meet along the way to walk together. I confronted him and he's all arsey saying what's the difference to mixing with people in a supermarket. I said hang on...we've been told not to meet with people outside our families who knows what he would potentially bring back. Im not meeting with anyone not even family. We've even drilled it onto our DS 15 he cant meet friends.

Am I being unreasonable?

I'd be cool with it (but then I'm a cool wife 😎)

OP the risk you’re taking is far bigger than the one your husband is taking. You can drop food off for your father, you don’t have to go in the house. You can chat over the phone

Msmcc I volunteer at a Food Bank & with rough sleepers, we take every possible care to keep a 2 m distance but sometimes it just isn’t possible. Should I give it up? Then what will happen to the people who need to use a Food Bank & rough sleepers and as you can appreciate the numbers are rising considerably. Is it best to just let them starve Or die on the streets ? .

OP you said you take your DF shopping, then you said you get shopping for him. Sorry, I was absolutely in agreement with you for your initial post about your DH meeting a friend for a walk but if you are going and spending time with your very vulnerable DF, that's so SO much worse.

Government guidelines provide for providing care for family. It would seem lower risk to your father for you or a volunteer to leave shopping and meals outside, in smaller amounts and more frequently than once a week, but presumably you’ve made a judgment, eg that your help once a week is lower risk than using paid carers.

Your H was U for breaching guidelines to meet and be in close proximity to his friend, also setting a bad example to your teen.

What on Earth are you going to do when the restrictions are lifted?
Are you cross because he's 'breaking rules'?
Do you think he's closer to this friend than you are to another customer at the supermarket?
Why don't you meet a friend?
Have you talked to him?
I think you'll find everyone is bending the restrictions to keep their sanity... if you're not you're obviously very very lucky and have a stimulating job/structure/easy kids and no problems.... oh or you're perfect.
Why not leave those who need support alone?

What on Earth are you going to do when the restrictions are lifted?

OP: There's quite a lot of satisfaction to be had from reporting neighbours who don't put their rubbish in the proper bins

Don’t be an idiot Ragwort. Of course you shouldn’t give up your essential work. It’s essential and clearly the right thing to do. Going out for a walk with a friend, stopping and chatting to a neighbour is NOT essential. It really isn’t hard to grasp. We all need to mix as little as possible and go out as little as possible...So that fewer people die and the NHS can cope. Simple. End of. It really isn’t a matter for debate. The laws are there for a reason. Follow them. When they change follow the new ones. Simple.

Oh and your teenage son plays sport with friends? WTAF??!!!!

I think you'll find everyone is bending the restrictions to keep their sanity...

I think you’ll find they’re not.

Noclar. Yes we do all have the power of thought but if everyone bends the rules the rules won’t work. You surely saw the photos of massive amounts of people turning up a beauty spots after the cinemas and restaurants closed?...that’s why the rules need to be explicit and stuck to as much as possible. It really isn’t hard to grasp. Of course we want to look for loopholes and ‘if I Just’s - but we can’t. We need to stick together and work together.

Most people are NOT bending the rules to keep their sanity. Most people are doing the RIGHT thing.

Am I reading this right?

It's fine for you to visit your very vulnerable 88 year old father, but it's not okay for him to go for a walk with his mate?

This isn't about coronavirus, it's about control.

OP my Dad is 90 and on his own. I drop shopping off for him once a week. I leave it outside for him. I do not go inside, out the shopping away or cook for him. He has to look after himself mainly by eating Wiltshire farm foods ready meals. You are putting him at risk by doing what you are doing as he is in the vulnerable category. The rules apply to you and you are ignoring them.

Most people are NOT bending the rules to keep their sanity. Most people are doing the RIGHT thing.

I greatly doubt this. It depends what you mean by "the rules" of course. But if you mean the government guidance my sense is that there is widespread disobedience. It is impossible to gauge it reliably. We simply avoid the subject with our more pious/anxious/bullying acquaintances as I suspect do others, so they probably get the sense that everyone is onboard. But once people know that they're in like-minded company they are more honest.

This isn't about coronavirus, it's about control.
Exactly what I was thinking. I feel sorry for you DH.

I’m pretty horrified by the complacency of some posters on here. I think if you had friends on the frontline or had lost family members you’d take it more seriously. I never judge people but this isn’t a time to hold back when so much is at stake. If you had spoken to ICU doctors you wouldn’t be using words like pious, bullying and anxious. This is literally life and death stuff. I don’t want to worry people but it is. We ALL have a duty to do the right thing here. No one has a right to bend the rules because it makes life a little uncomfortable or less enjoyable. It is hard being confined, it is hard not seeing friends and family but it’s a lot harder to watch people scared and dying alone in hospital, it’s a lot harder to lose several family members and not be able to hold their hand in their last moments and it’s a lot harder to be ill and struggling to take a breath.
Get some perspective.

Taking a walk with a friend is not ok
Playing sports with friends is not ok
Going for a coffee with someone is not ok
Any unnecessary trips outside of your house are not ok.

Bending the rules to suit yourself is NOT ok.

I live in a village and regularly see people I know and have carried on with my walk walking with them 2metres plus apart . I really don’t think it matters as long as your husband practice social distancing. Why would you be more likely to pick virus up from someone you know rather than a stranger? … genuine question !!!

I tried walking with a friend I bumped into before full lockdown but when we knew 2m apart was recommended distance. It was impossible to stay that far apart when other people were around or the path narrowed and you were deep in conversation. I doubt anyone can hold a conversation and continually navigate keeping 2m apart but may be that’s my brain. Regardless the rules are there for a reason.

How judgemental.
Why can't he meet a friend for a walk? This is hardly a concert with thousands of people.
Who are you, the Stasi?

Who are you, the Stasi?

There we have that word again. I must see the word Stasi on here 10 times a day, it seems to be the new Mumsnet pandemic 'in' word. 😂

I feel like a bit of an chump for not meeting up with anyone now! Didn't realise everyone else was. The inconsistent government guidance has played a large part in the varying degrees of lockdown. I would say that all the people walking together but 2 metres apart are f'ing annoying because they take up loads of space and rarely have the common sense to walk one behind the other to let people pass.

Honestly I wish one of my friends would meet up with me for a socially distanced walk. My mental health is now through the floor. I know its not in the rules.

@colouringindoors I actually went to a friends for a driveway chat because she is on her own with a baby and feeling really down. I stood at the end of her drive and she leant on her car about 4m away. We nattered For a good hour x

bless you