AIBU or are pretty much everyone's neighbours being unreasonable by this point in?

[huntinthehornybacktoad]

We have naice middle class neighbours who have a right of way over our yard.

They have interpreted this as teaching their kids to cycle in our yard, telling their kids to "go play in that bit" (our yard) and now parking their car in our yard (so as to leave more space in their own yard).

Please tell me that this craziness will end after lockdown (-and that I don't have to go tell them off because I am dreading that as in many ways I like them-).

We are detached with neighbours next door but quite a distance and we all have a walled garden separating us .. I've neighbours have all been fab no arguments etc , however after being on mum's net for a while I do get my neighbours nice Xmas prezzies as I know we are extremely lucky ! X

The parking could be seen as adverse possession so stop it now. A mate had a neighbour who he allowed to park his caravan as a favour in his stable yard. 9 years later, the neighbour has claimed adverse possession or whatever it’s called and the guy can’t get rid of the bloody caravan, makes life very hard when he reverses his horse box.

I voted YABU, because I was responding to what you asked - are everyone's neighbours being unreasonable.

In your case though, you do need to have a word now, and clarify the "rules" before it becomes normal habit.

the trouble is that any flat owner at any time is entitled to come to me as manager and tell me to sort out XYZ.

I would suggest that this is your ticket to sort this.

"Hi neighbour! Listen, I don't want to bother you but I've had a resident approach me in confidence to express concerns that there is some confusion over this easement. As you know, it's a private yard with an easement for access to CFer Cottage's driveway and property.
So, to keep everyone happy, would it be possible for you to resume parking on your drive in future? Thanks ever so much!"

If in doubt, fake a complaint. No one will admit to it (obviously as it's not them) and CFer Cottage residents will never know which of the 6 owners is unhappy about it (even though they're probably all secretly are a bit anyway)

I absolutely love "CFer Cottage :)"

Ah well, at least CFer Cottage has made an absolutely beautiful garden that I can admire and which is supporting all the neighbourhood chickens and birds.

I've resigned myself to checking the deed, consulting with our management company's solicitors, etc.

I think the trouble is that everyone is stuck in and so everyone is thinking about home renovations and garden plans... and maybe getting a bit carried away...

sorry FeelinFagin yes- I agree with your advice.

It also has the not inconsiderable benefit of being absolutely true! I do not need any more nonsense in my life than I'm already stuck with from my role...

"So, to keep everyone happy, would it be possible for you to I'm afraid you'll have to resume parking on your drive in future. Thanks ever so much!"

Don't ask, tell! Just as nicely!

Otherwise you open the can of worms of them giving you a load of bullshit "answers" to your "question" about whether it's possible...

I hear you Perking.

never ask an open question.
never explain
never apologise.

It's so easy when it's not you!

having said that, I did, with the help of mumsnet, once send a very direct text to another neighbour and it worked really well and we are still friends. So I know you are right.

Haha, I too learned this from MN!

Good point @PerkingFaintly.

I'm the same usually so should have phrased it better. Never make it a question, (even a rhetorical) because it gives an option for "No".

You can be ever so polite even in issuing an order.

I think I'm very lucky. Mine are either actively nice or at worst unobtrusive. I've lived here for ages though and always pretty much get on with them all. I've got two lots of upstairs neighbours (old house converted into flats) and we pick up bits of shopping for each other when needed, 'meet' for coffee on the steps sitting two metres apart etc. Some of the further-away ones join in our chats by hovering on the pavement for a chat too. And we tend to wave and yell hello to each other when we go out to do the NHS clap.

YANBU. Even the usual calm neighbours have turned nasty on our local FB group.

Can you fence off a bit at the furthest point from your house just wide enough for them to drive their car across?
Right of access doesn't mean free use of the entire plot.

I have zero complaints about my neighbours which makes me wonder whether we are the hated, unreasonable, lock down running family who everyone else is moaning about

A right of way is a right to pass and repass, not a right to stop, park, play etc. However, if the parking etc goes on for a lo-o-ong time without objection, a right to do it may arise (we're talking 12 years, but how time flies...).

However awkward, you should make it clear to them that it is just a right of way, and could they please respect that, and not treat it as an occasional adjunct to their own property? Obvs you don't want a row and frosty relations, so tone is important...

Best of luck & hope it works out OK

I agree that it is better to keep friendly with neighbours, but you do need to pull them up on it now rather than let it continue for a long time.

A right of way is just that, a right to pass over/through. It does not give them the right to park there or play there or cycle there.

Only thing mine are doing is swopping veg seedlings with me - from a distance.

neighbour throws a ball every day over and over in our small carpark of our flats, dog yaps, can i tell him not to?

Selfish buggers will always be selfish buggers, lockdown or no. It's only being forced to spend more time near these people that you realise that they are!

Think about moving to somewhere with your OWN drive, just for you, even if just a semi. A friend of mine lived in a semi where the drive was shared with the garages in the back gardens, in sight of the kitchen windows. She didn’t have children then and when she returned from work she had to clear the drive of toys to get her car into the garage. She asked several times and eventually “damaged” one of the dolls prams whilst moving it. If you buy a semi don’t get one with this type of shared drive, you can never park on it and have to always put the car in the garage or leave it on the street. Know your rights: look at the Title Deed and explain to these twerps what “Access” means

My neighbours, in fact all in cul de sac are being reasonable. We all come together to do our NHS clap on Thursdays and apart from this hardy anyone goes out except to walk dogs and by car to shop. One neighbour put note through door stating they shopped every Friday and were willing to pick up things for others if told what was needed by Thursday evening and included phone number to text list too. Your neighbours sound like dicks. Everytime they park car there make them move it. Remind them access does not mean parking. Shoo kids on bikes back onnto own drive.

Most of our neighbours have been fine. I was worried about one group who have two families/three generations living on a small size rural lot. The adult son has a drum kit and an addiction problem he shares with Dad. Mum built him a home studio which opens our way. We had issues before C19 and made it plain we would be calling in relevant agencies if it continued, but she has kept him contained with the door shut so thumbs up to her, that would not have been easy.

I get on with another female neighbour and use messenger to chat every now and then. I think her Hubby (they met on the internet and she moved a couple of thousand klms to be here after 6 months) has her socially isolated so when I knew she wasn't working (again before C19) I invited her to join me in a course I was signing up for. Anyhow that didn't happen but we chatted away.

Recently I messaged her in regard to something else, later that night, received this huge explosion back. It wasn't her language type and I figured it wasn't her, but her Hubby. He had gone through her messenger account when she went for a shower... we are all meant to be meeting after C 19 to discuss things, but I think we will keep things in writing now.

As another poster mentioned, the ferals are certainly out in FB land. I have stopped contributing to community threads unless it's really important or one of the gardening forums I belong to. Don't wake up to nasty ill-informed comments.

Nip your driveway issue in the bud.

YABU by not acting an adult and telling them this isn't going to continue.

The car went back on to the street this morning.
The oldest child quietly pedalled his bike around our yard for a few minutes and I don’t mind that if it’s quiet.
I think they did it because they have a skip where the car usually goes.
One odd thing is that their paved area is (too?) small. But to make it bigger they would have to pave over some of their own Lovely Garden.... and I like their garden! I don’t want to live next to paving.

So turn some of your yard into a garden? Strange that you're happy to let them take over your yard so you can enjoy looking at their garden 🤪