Best come back for unnecessarily grumpy people?

[stanley10]

I live in a block of flats with other flats looking into our car park.

I just cleaned our car in said car park, and smacked a mat against the fence on our side maybe four times to get the dust out. It didn’t make that much noise and it’s 430 in the afternoon.

A very unnecessarily angry man, aged about 50, shouted at me from behind his window. I waved at him and he pulled up his window and told me off. I said ‘ok but you could ask nicely!’ to which he replied, ‘oh really?!’. I’m 8 months pregnant, not that it matters really but I kind of expect people to be less grumpy to a huge huffing and puffing lump.

Now I wish I’d said something much more effective - basically everyone is grumpy at the moment but being such an angry tosser puts everyone in a worse mood. Does anyone have a good comeback for unnecessarily grumpy sods?

Ohtherewearethen Having a discussion on the internet is different to dealing with an aggressive person in real life. Even having a discussion in person is different - I’m not saying never disagree with anyone ever, I’m just pointing out that if someone is acting aggressively there is rarely a magic witty comment that is automatically going to make them see the error of their ways.

Sparklfairy yes agree, different personalities and also possibly shows me up as living in a rough area - for me, option 3 would have a 50/50 chance of someone kicking off massively

@stanley10 If he was unnecessarily angry and you tried to be "effective" with a comment, you could find a brick through your car window.

It's fine for people to say "come back with this" or "I'd have said this", the chances are they wouldn't. The problem is you don't know how people will react these days, it's not worth the risk.

I don’t think you can shake your mat at that time of day. May be an urban myth but I always understood you can only beat your doormat outside before 8am? Misses point of thread...

I don't think banging a mat against a fence at 4.30 p.m. could be noisy enough to warrant someone telling you to stfu. I wonder if he gets to hear noises from other flats, maybe above, below and to the side and this was the last straw for him? Maybe he's just been cooped up too long and you got it in the neck unfairly.

I would have just told him it's acceptable noise to make at 4.30 p.m. and just wait until I've had my baby. Then you'll know what noise is.

@Dyrne, that actually makes a lot of sense if you are used to seeing people kick off for no good reason - they may just be the type that don't really need one.
I too live in a socially deprived area so I carefully pick my battles but humour (not aggression) hasn't failed me yet.

I had said, "Perhaps the gentleman might let me have them as I'm collecting them for my daughter." His reply was a rude, "No, the gentleman wouldn't!" with a filthy look.

I can see why saying that would rub the man up the wrong way. You were talking about him in the third person in front of him. If you'd said something like "Excuse me, if you're not using them could I have them for my daughter, please?" you would have been more likely to get a polite response from him.

My mum does that to me all the time, "Perhaps TheIncredible would be kind enough to..." It's really irritating and immediately makes me not want to do whatever it is she wants me to.

‘Don’t be a cunt’

Show him the middle finger. What a prick.

Men love saying “cheer up love, give us a smile” so maybe say that?

@LetsBeSensible, that is by far the best response yet and would be deeply satisfying.