Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Best come back for unnecessarily grumpy people?

60 replies

stanley10 · 05/05/2020 16:33

I live in a block of flats with other flats looking into our car park.

I just cleaned our car in said car park, and smacked a mat against the fence on our side maybe four times to get the dust out. It didn’t make that much noise and it’s 430 in the afternoon.

A very unnecessarily angry man, aged about 50, shouted at me from behind his window. I waved at him and he pulled up his window and told me off. I said ‘ok but you could ask nicely!’ to which he replied, ‘oh really?!’. I’m 8 months pregnant, not that it matters really but I kind of expect people to be less grumpy to a huge huffing and puffing lump.

Now I wish I’d said something much more effective - basically everyone is grumpy at the moment but being such an angry tosser puts everyone in a worse mood. Does anyone have a good comeback for unnecessarily grumpy sods?

OP posts:
Original poster
stanley10 · 05/05/2020 16:35

My dad always used to blow a kiss at people like this. Maybe a good option?

OP posts:
Sonichu · 05/05/2020 16:36

Is that it?

Sparklfairy · 05/05/2020 16:39

I did once say, 'Blimey who shat in your cornflakes!?' in a similar situation. I'd read it earlier in the day on here and it just popped into my mind Grin It shocked us both a bit I think and he soon shut up Grin

Original poster
stanley10 · 05/05/2020 16:40

That’s a good one @fairy, definitely banking that!

OP posts:
Itoldyouiwasill · 05/05/2020 16:42

I like to do a cheery 'thanks' and wave. Look like you've no idea they've just been rude to you and it messes with their heads

Runkle · 05/05/2020 16:43

Just be the bigger person and apologise. Everyone has their own shit going on they don't need some sarcy twat at them.

NearlyGranny · 05/05/2020 16:45

I think a lot more men need to be told what women are being told all the time at the moment: "In a world where you can be anything you want, be kind. "

Or in the case of this grump, "Would you like to try saying that again, only a little more kindly this time? It will get much better results. "

Original poster
stanley10 · 05/05/2020 16:45

@runkle agreed everyone has their own shit going on, but even in my darkest days I’ve never felt the need to take it out on a random pregnant stranger. I think people should be pulled up on that behaviour to be honest.

OP posts:
DisplayPurposesOnly · 05/05/2020 16:46

I kind of expect people to be less grumpy to a huge huffing and puffing lump.

Why?

To answer your OP, entering into a point-scoring competition over come-backs won't de-escalate a situation. Stay polite and exit civilly.

Original poster
stanley10 · 05/05/2020 16:47

@nearlygranny that’s a nice way of putting it. I tried to convey that but clearly failed.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 05/05/2020 16:47

“Sorry for disturbing you” would be the best surely?

Doingtheboxerbeat · 05/05/2020 16:51

@Runkle, I would normally agree about being the bigger person but they didn't give a shit about what you might be going through when they shouted at you did they?

I tend to say "smile and make your arse jealous" if they catch me on a bad day.

Original poster
stanley10 · 05/05/2020 16:52

@sirzy but doesn’t that just convey that shouting and swearing at someone is acceptable? I think you can politely push back rather than just pretending that it’s fine or expected to talk to someone in that way.

OP posts:
Original poster
stanley10 · 05/05/2020 16:53

@Doingtheboxerbeat exactly! Our baby is going to be ill with a chromosomal disorder and chd. Everyone is going through a hard battle as they say - you don’t know who you’re taking your anger out on!

OP posts:
NearlyGranny · 05/05/2020 16:55

My best grump response was after being rudely refused his tokens (for an offer of some nice china) by a man in front of me in the supermarket queue who didn't want them.

I had said, "Perhaps the gentleman might let me have them as I'm collecting them for my daughter." His reply was a rude, "No, the gentleman wouldn't!" with a filthy look.

The checkout operator looked shocked, and I immediately apologised:

"I am sorry I referred to you as a gentleman. I made an assumption about you but I see now I was quite mistaken."

He did goldfish impressions for a moment and stomped off with his shopping. The checkout operator, with a wink, gave me the rejected tokens as well as my own!

DateandTime · 05/05/2020 16:55

How do you know he was unnecessarily grumpy? You have no idea what put him in such a bad mood. Maybe the best "comeback" is to understand we never know what's going on in other's lives

Fishfingersandwichplease · 05/05/2020 16:55

Smile sweetly and ask if they are having a bad day!

FlabberMcBlasted · 05/05/2020 16:56

🖕🏻

Dyrne · 05/05/2020 16:57

Pudding about trying to find “witty” comebacks is just going to inflame the situation. Surely if someone’s at the stage where They’re snapping at people, then some twat telling then to “be kind” would just make it worse, let alone some of the other responses suggested!

Maybe take some of your own advice, think that maybe the guy had more going on that’s made him snap; and give him the benefit of the doubt and ignore him rather than trying to think of “hilarious” comebacks that would have put him in his place?

Sparklingbrook · 05/05/2020 17:01

'Cheer up, moody' sometimes does the trick.

Sparklfairy · 05/05/2020 17:03

Oh blow that for a lark, @Dyrne and PPs. When did it become ok to become a stranger's emotional punchbag because they 'might have shit going on?' Manners are a two way street, and if you're rude to me, damn straight you're getting a sarcastic comment back.

Dyrne · 05/05/2020 17:09

Sparklfairy oh right because yelling back something shitty is the sensible and mature thing to do?

We live in a world where most of the “witty comebacks” we’ve seen here are more likely to escalate the situation and get you a punch in the face.

If he’s a cunt who likes yelling at women, being told one of these comebacks is going to inflame the situation - he’s not going to laugh and go “aha! Your hilarious come back has made me see I’m being grumpy, thank you for making me see the error of my ways!”

Alternatively, on the very slim chance that he’s having a bad day and snapped because his wife has just died, then someone being shitty to him is going to make him feel 100x worse so perhaps be deserves the benefit of the doubt. or are we only supposed to be mind readers and automatically provide excuses for pregnant women?

Sparklfairy · 05/05/2020 17:13

@Dyrne I've never yelled back something shitty, and I'm not sure what sort of people you mix with but I've never been punched in the face either!

Shouting back 'oh shut the fuck up you grumpy cunt' will escalate, sure, but being a wet lettuce and a doormat is not the solution. I guess you just have to have a certain charm in your delivery that means you don't get punched Wink

randomguy12 · 05/05/2020 17:18

Just be the bigger person and ignore him. His behaviour was rude, but he could also be struggling during lockdown

BetsyBigNose · 05/05/2020 17:18

DH used to be a right Eeyore. He'd go on this long, grumpy monologue, whingeing about everything that he could think of. When he would eventually run out of steam I'd chime in with "Yeah, it'll probably rain later, too." It occasionally managed to draw him out of his grump, but it always made me feel better!

Swipe left for the next trending thread