To be terrified of birth?

[topazdiamondsandemeralds]

I made my account yesterday and, waking up in the early hours of the morning, wondered if you could all help me.
I'm a month pregnant, so no exactly obvious changes physically but I have been more emotional lately.
Something that has been on my mind is how terrified I am of giving birth - I don't know when it started, but I'm staying up until the early hours of the morning because it Is on my mind so much.
I'm scared of the possibility of a C section, of the idea of an epidural paralyzing me, baby being too big and tearing me apart etc.
Is this normal?
Am I being unreasonable to be so worried?

You're not alone in feeling this way and it's totally understandable to be thinking about the enivitable. Yes you get to meet your beautiful baby but first said baby needs to be delivered. I found that the closer I got to my due date I just felt this sense of "I can do this, I've got this" just this feeling that I'll be alright. Don't get me wrong I like yourself was terrified at the beginning of my pregnancy, over joyed but the thought of birth, wow!. I ended up having an emergency c section and that also went very well and I recovered very quickly. Just take each trimester as it comes and I'm sure by the end you'll feel ready.

I was really scared of giving birth with my first DC. Not so much early on, but when I got to about 30 weeks, I suddenly woke up to the fact that pregnancy is a one-way street, panicked and asked my midwife if I could have an elective caesarean so I didn't have to go through labour. I didn't have a section (everyone talked me out of it) but I did have a shoddy miserable birth and was even more anxious at the start of my pregnancy with DC2.

I was blessed in that pregnancy with wonderful community midwives and one of them recommended the book Childbirth Without Fear to me: www.amazon.co.uk/Childbirth-without-Fear-Principles-Practice/dp/1780660553?tag=mumsnetforu03-21. It's rather old-fashioned now but really sound in the way it gets you thinking about birth and your body, and helped me more than I can say. I ended up having a home birth and I can honestly say it was one of the best experiences of my life. I'm not pushing home birth btw (I had DC3 in hospital) and neither were my midwives, but just to illustrate how much my mindset changed from reading that book.

I remember the feeling of fear about pregnancy, birth and bringing up a child. My eldest is now 5 yo and sometimes I forget and then remember I have not one but 2 children and feel shocked!

I had the privilege of seeing 2 births of part of my medical training and that was actually very reassuring to me.

My own births were absolutely fine. It felt like a primal experience, like my body took over and did exactly what it needed to. Gas and air took the edge off the pain. The 2nd one particularly was a calm and quiet experience and it feels magical looking back. I think that's because I did forget the pain v quickly. Good luck!

I was hoping for a lovely water birth in the local birth centre. After five sweeps I still ended up being induced at 42 weeks and giving birth 42+1 with assistance from the hormone drip. I was absolutely gutted that I didn't have the birth I had planned but it was the most amazing experience of my life and I would do anything to relive it. I had been terrified of labour in pregnancy and certainly didn't have a rush of love when my son was handed to me!
We are currently trying for number two but still no period since stopping breastfeeding.
Best wishes to you. Please enjoy every minute as it will really be over in a flash although doesn't feel like it when you are huge and uncomfortable.

I had all these fears and more, I thought I’d never have a child because I was so scared of pregnancy and giving birth but I now have a 3 month old and would/will hopefully do it again.

Things did go wrong for me but you just take one thing at a time and deal with it because you want your baby to be ok and that takes over. At one point I told them to give me a c section knowing there was no anaesthetist available!

Just my experience but I used the positive birth company digital pack too and it didn’t help me once I was in labour. It took me a long time to get over that, more so than the physical side. It did help me get through the pregnancy with less fear though so it was worth it in that sense. As I said it was just my experience and it doesn’t mean it wouldn’t work for you, I just wish I’d read some more balanced opinions of it beforehand.

With my dd I had no pain relief whatsoever and I managed. It will be ok!!

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I was absolutely terrified both times. I was terrified of the pain, terrified of the baby being still born, terrified that they wouldn't give me an epidural if I asked. I was in such hysterics with my first that the midwives sent a consultant in twice to try to shut me up calm me down

Both times it was absolutely fine. I took all of the drugs going which helped to numb the pain and calmed me down A LOT and don't remember much of the experience except for DDs actually being born and holding them. That worked well for me, but obviously people are different. I wasn't particularly bothered about the 'birth experience', I just wanted a happy, healthy baby.

You will be fine, and your lovely baby will make it all worth it.

Everything @Hedgehog44 said!

For me giving birth was easier than I expected but I was lucky that it was straightforward with no complications. OP if thoughts of the birth are really overwhelming you need to speak to your midwife. Perhaps some sort of relaxation techniques could help you.

I think a lot of women are afraid of giving birth. This is just my experience, but a few of my NCT friends also felt this way. In my last month or so of being pregnant, most of my anxiety about birth fizzled away. I was so ready to meet my baby- and so ready to not be pregnant anymore!- that I couldn’t wait! Not saying that this will definitely happen to you, but it might.

I agree with previous posters that knowledge is empowering. Perhaps look into hypnobirthing? I didn’t really explore it, but I’ve heard great things about it.