NC for this one. The long story short is that myself and my younger sister are both forty-something women. My sister has had mental health issues treated with anti-psychotic drugs since her late teens. At around the time she was first diagnosed (and in part the reason she was diagnosed) was because she was accusing all and sundry of sexually assaulting her. She was staying with me at the time, came home with mad stories about teams of men trying to drag her into vans, replete with the 'evidence' of supposedly torn clothing etc.
Alarm bells first started ringing for me straight away after she showed me the clothing that she said had been partially ripped from her body. This was the same day the police interviewed her, at my insistence. I saw that the stitching in the trouser leg had been worked loose, basically the seam had been let down, there was no tearing of the material, and it was a double crease if you know what I mean, so that the stitching had been removed from the line where it sewed material together three times over. I was thinking that is very odd; it's not the sort of damage you'd expect from a mad melee where three men are trying to drag you into a van. It was too careful and methodical to fit the scene that she'd described. That was the first of the alarm bells that all was not as it seemed.
The second alarm bell came within days, when she accused both of our parents (one of whom is deceased) of sexually assaulting her in childhood. This confirmed my suspicions that she was fabricating sexual assault stories. I know my own parents, was raised in the same house, they were a long way from perfect but they sure as shit were not perverts. Also they raised several children; were we expected to believe they discovered their perversions only when it came to their youngest daughter?!
Twenty-something years on and numerous breakdowns later, during which time various other people have been accused of sexual assault, my sister is not in a good way at all. She has been medicated on and off for all this time, but unfortunately takes herself off her meds routinely. She is a single mother under the observation of social services for numerous reasons including her daughter fleeing the house for her own safety. Myself and other family members have had to step in at various points and report to social services for safeguarding issues.
Twice last year she physically assaulted me in the street and both times I had to defend myself. The first time I let it go but the second I contacted social services to report that she was charging at me in the street raging with aggression and hostility out of nowhere and for no reason, as this obviously meant she was back off her meds. Physically she didn't do much damage, although the crazy bug-eyed animosity was so disturbing. Several weeks later I got a call from the Police asking me to come down to the station as I had been reported for physical assault!
The lucky thing for me was that my partner had been with me at the time of this incident, it had been the middle of the afternoon, in the middle of the town main street, directly opposite the Police Station, so you couldn't get more public than that. I gave my statement and my partner gave his supporting statement and I heard nothing further from the police. That was about eight or nine months ago. I just assumed the police had let it go as I had a witness to events and my sister had not.
A few days back our other sister discovered a string of messages in her FB 'other folder' from our younger sister, from that time that she hadn't been aware of up till now, accusing me of sexual assault! She said that I had sexually assaulted her in the middle of the main street that day. At this point she has accused exactly half her immediate family members (and numerous others) of sexually assaulting her. This looks to me like the police took an allegation of sexual assault from my sister but never made me aware of it. I have not been accused of this in any official capacity but have been accused of it in those private messages from that time.
I would appreciate Mumsnet posters opinion on what to do from here? Should I let this go and forget about it as, if the report was made in an official capacity (which I believe it was) it was not taken seriously; or should I contact the police again (as I feel inclined to do) and insist on knowing if I have been accused of sexual assault here? And if so, honestly I would want my sister charged with making a false allegation.
There are obviously disturbing questions around whether my sister has ever been sexually assaulted in her life, and whether this behaviour points to something in her past, but whether or not that's the case she cannot spend her life going around making this enormously hurtful and damaging accusation wherever she sees fit. I am in a state of shock about the content of those messages and just feeling so lucky that I had an eye witness to the incident that day.
So should I let it go or pursue it? Yes I get that she has mental health issues, but it is just fucking outrageous that she thinks she make this allegation towards innocent people repeatedly on and off throughout her whole adult life. This kind of thing destroys lives just as surely as sexual assault itself. Also, for all I know (I don't know much about this) an uninvestigated allegation of this nature could lurk somewhere in my record and come back to harm me should I ever need a police check into my background.
I am so disturbed by this. Yes my sister needs help, but surely I should take steps to protect my reputation here? Another argument is that there's no damage to my reputation at present, but could be if I pursued this. I just don't know what to do for the best and would appreciate any advice.