Employer making life VERY difficult.

[Titslikepicassos]

Supposed to be returning from MAT leave in June, have childcare arranged and as a key worker they will still take my baby - excellent.

Had a team meeting with work this week to discuss going back and have been told that I have to relocate as my partner works on the same site as me - which has been known since I informed them we were in a relationship, however the policy changed in October (before I went on MAT leave). While we are on the same site, our jobs are separate and we are working in different buildings, have different managers and different hours. The different hours means I will need to do drop offs and pick ups to coincide with opening and closing hours.

So during the middle of a pandemic, with child care mostly closed I now have to find a new nursery, lose a significant term time deposit and start the settling in process all over again. Not only that, they have told me to find my own employment within the company - my head is exploding with all of this. AIBU to think this is an unnecessary ball ache!

I appreciate that this is a minor problem given the amount of people losing jobs!

Wow, that's brilliant news.

Fairly unlikely that you will ever get a letter to the effect, 'Tits, you are right, we were wrong...'

What are you hoping to achieve with a formal grievance?

I want security surrounding my hours and location - union have advised not to go down grievance route if I want to go back to work though.

Hours aren’t sorted and I know that will be the next thing my boss will try and make difficult.

Would love to know what I’ve done to warrant being subjected to all this shit.

Stick to what you want OP.

Security of hours and location, otherwise this has been for nothing.

I tjink you need to get legal advice.

You've definitely done the right thing in standing up for yourself op.

Tell them you are going to pursue your case unless they confirm in writing that your position and the location are as before together with anything else you require.

You need some manner of security before dropping the case and until you receive this just tell them that you will be carrrying on.

I’ve got legal advice so feel secure in that sense.

Trying to arrange a meeting ref hours but not dropping anything until it’s all sorted

Teddy Roosevelt is said to have described his foreign policy as “speak softly and carry a big stick”.
The threat of a grievance is your big stick. You don’t need to use it but it helps to have it there...

Get formal written confirmation of your hours etc. Also write a 1 page summary of what happened and what was finally agreed and email it to HR at the end so you know there is a record of the issues you faced if your Manager gets difficult later.

The grievance isn't the big stick. The ET is though. But there are strict timescales on being able to lodge an ET claim, which is why it's good that @Titslikepicassos has taken legal advice, so has likely been told this.

The timing issue is complex so as you say it is good she has legal advice.

Hello @Titslikepicassos
Just checking in on you - how's the process going?

Hi @Happynow001 - I’m right this second waiting for a zoom meeting with HR and boss regarding my hours, following that I have another regarding working at the same site as my partner.

Not sure how it’s going to go - I think my boss is going to be difficult with my hours as a way to force my hand to move/leave. However, lawyer has said that tactic would be indirect sex discrimination (child care) and constrictive dismal.

Fingers crossed for you! Good luck!

Good luck.

I've followed your thread from the start. Stay strong.

Well it went terribly and they’ve changed the operational running so need me to change two days of my childcare - one of which is fully booked.

They didn’t communicate this with me, just like they didn’t communicate the relationships policy.

I don’t want to look obstructive regarding my hours and childcare and I understand the company has an operational need but why the fucking fuck can they not tell me this at the point of change!

This is starting to sound more like you are being driven out which amounts to constructive dismissal. They are playing dirty now in the hope that you will just go away.

I am no expert so talk to your solicitor.

I want to tell them to shove their job up their fucking arses but I love it and need it!

Do you have stuff in writing about return to work days and did you ever tell them the days they now want are difficult for you?

Take detailed notes of today's meeting op.

Only handwritten notes, but my boss admitted this conversation took place but has now said it was never concrete.

The hours I’m needed to do will involve a two week shift pattern with different days each week - not only are the nursery fully booked for one of those day, they also can’t facilitate the shift as they’ve put the staff and kids into bubbles and anticipate doing this into the winter.

Might asked to be furloughed until end of Oct

I think you need to go back to your solicitor and tell hr that you'll be doing this.

Another thing - i work in a regulated industry, in the meeting regarding partner and I working together, I was informed that the regulator was informed of my relationship. I was a bit at the time but didn’t question it, but I’m not sure how happy I am about this

When they say "informed" I think you should be entitled to know whether the disclosure was made in a way that just included job titles/site details or if it was more personal, ie Titslikepicassos and Mr Titslikepicassos are partners.

Speculating here, but unless there's a statutory duty or specific obligation to inform the regulator, then it might be a GDPR matter.

I'd certainly want to know what they'd told them and why. Would a Subject Access Request be an appropriate way of finding out?

I'm really intrigued about your job now, OP, I'm struggling to think why a regulator might need to know that 2 staff were partners.

And if they need to know, why weren't they told before? Or were they told when you were first together? It could explain why they have a policy about partners working on the same site, I guess.

In my head, you now do Something Very Secret to do with defence or something.

That was my thought - employee A in a relationship with employee B, or tits and mr tits, are completely different things. No reason for the regulator to know unless we’d behaved unprofessionally, even then, it would need to be a certain set of circumstances that would require them to be notified. They’ve not been made aware until this point as there is no statutory requirement to do so and work has known about our relationship from the off (years).

Oh and my job isn’t quite so exciting! Could forgive them for the stress if it was a matter of national security