Employer making life VERY difficult.

[Titslikepicassos]

Supposed to be returning from MAT leave in June, have childcare arranged and as a key worker they will still take my baby - excellent.

Had a team meeting with work this week to discuss going back and have been told that I have to relocate as my partner works on the same site as me - which has been known since I informed them we were in a relationship, however the policy changed in October (before I went on MAT leave). While we are on the same site, our jobs are separate and we are working in different buildings, have different managers and different hours. The different hours means I will need to do drop offs and pick ups to coincide with opening and closing hours.

So during the middle of a pandemic, with child care mostly closed I now have to find a new nursery, lose a significant term time deposit and start the settling in process all over again. Not only that, they have told me to find my own employment within the company - my head is exploding with all of this. AIBU to think this is an unnecessary ball ache!

I appreciate that this is a minor problem given the amount of people losing jobs!

😂😂😂😂😂 I know I felt weird writing it!!!

Thanks Bosco 😉

Just rejoining for some moral support OP. This must be so hard.

Yes, I think you are doing the right thing, but just a word of warning. I raised a grievance 2 years ago as a result of my manager bullying me. I am a senior manager in my large organisation.

I made a whistleblowing report, and the day my manager found out about it, he fabricated allegations against me and initiated a covert investigation into me. He became absolutely obsessed with trying to damage me professionally to the point of stalking. Everyone has closed ranks and despite strong evidence to the contrary, they maintain that there was no wrongdoing. It is gaslighting at its finest.

It has been horrendous. I have been diagnosed with PTSD, and am now going down the route of ill health retirement. It is going to employment tribunal, although is currently postponed due to Covid. They are throwing everything into defending it.

I often wonder if I did the right thing in making the whistleblowing report, because my almost 30 year career is effectively over as a result. I expected fairness and decency in how my grievance was dealt with, and I was utterly naive. The organisation went into arse covering overdrive 😢 which has only emboldened my bully / stalker.

Sorry to hear of your situation @NigellaAwesome, it sounds awful. What support do you have? I’m not sure I’d be brave enough to make a move without an employment law solicitor and I’m still concerned that it’s all going to blow up in my face. I’m so glad I’m on maternity leave so I can hide away from it all when I need to.

I hope you get a positive outcome very soon and can start to put this shit behind you

I had a similar situation as @NigellaAwesome I’m afraid to say - as soon as I raised a grievance one was made against me. Fortunately I think it was seen for the knee-jerk retaliatory action it was and was pretty much immediately dismissed with no action taken against me.

I share this not to scare you @Titslikepicassos but just to illustrate that it’s a common tactic so don’t panic too much if they try it with you. Shows they are scared!

@nigellaAwesome look after yourself, what a horrible situation. Hope it gets resolved in your favour soon.

Thanks for sharing your experience @Ohdeariedear - hope your grievance was sorted!

I’m sat with an 8 page grievance that has been checked and beefed up but I can’t press send on the email.

I could be blowing up a well paid job for nothing and I’m the main earner.

I left! Had another job lined up anyway.

Go back and read your first post. You are not doing this for nothing. Worst case scenario you end up in the situation described there. You’ve nothing to lose now imo. You are the most ‘protected’ in law at this point that you can ever be in your career IMO. Good luck.

Hit send! You're so protected right now, and the evidence will back you up. If they start with a counter allegation, it's just more proof of their bullying. You're also protected by whistleblowing policies. X

Agree with the poster who pointed out that HR are a facility for management however would add the caveat that no company wants a sex discrim case against them, so essentially your purposes are aligned.

Of course you can withdraw the grievance at any time, and the reason I suggested an informal approach at least initially is often managers make decisions without the advice of HR, or rather act first then instruct HR to make their decision stick.

If I was your union rep, would be having discussions with HR that you simply want to return to your job prior to maternity leave and that the terms and conditions don't apply. And then escalating to the next up the food chain in HR.

Keep your grievance list short and absolutely factual.

Oh, didn't see the post about the 8 page grievance.

Please consider whether it is necessary at this stage, or whether it will complicate issues.

my advice to you would be to get back to work and if there are any further issues to take them up at this stage, otherwise may turn into a mud slinging match and difficult to unpick.

And while I am not suggesting that your employment lawyer does not have your best interests at heart, they do not have the ability to negotiate your job back.

What you can do is have a word with HR. Tell them you have your grievance ready to submit and that you are giving them 24 - 48 hours to confirm you will be returning to your old job, with the agreed shifts or you will send it and they will be dealing with a potential discrimination case.

@Titslikepicassos we can say alot of things on here, but we don't have in depth knowlege of your situation.

Trust your own gut feeling about what to so.

Can you wait to see if things get resolved by HR, before you raise a grievance

@Titslikepicassos, I'm sorry you're in this situation.

My advice (as a lawyer, though not employment) is to follow your lawyer's advice, not the advice of non-legally qualified randoms on the Internet. There are timescales you have to follow for Employment Tribunals, so you really need to do as advised by your lawyer, and quickly.

Please hit send now!

Talk to your solicitor before you send it. Maybe she can help you make it a bit more concise?

thanks for the advice - I’ve hit pause for the next 24 hours while I get some more advice and in the meantime DP can chase up HR, this is his problem too but work don’t seem to be involving him in it.

I know I’m stalling because I’m scared of the unknown outcome of this.

Hope your lawyer is quite senior - don't allow a junior with 4/5 years experience in this should be partner or director.

Ensure they're specialists in employment - check LinkedIn, legal 500, Chambers for references. Look at their cv on the website.

Number of times friends have instructed family lawyers in custody battles and I've noticed the lawyer is 2 years qualified or something or usually does conveyancing - in life changing matters you need experience - someone with years behind them and who specialises. Don't expect just because a law firm has a glossy website or nice office e they're good.

Also question them, what are they advocating that approach, other options

Thanks @fia101

It makes sense to encourage DH to deal with his issue, you're the one with the legal right to return to your role. Your rights are more protected than his. But your work doesn't seem to have realised that yet.

Hi tits, 8 pages sounds too long. Short, factual and objective. Picture someone reading it aloud in court (this won’t happen, it’s just a good goal to get the right tone).

Have you yet sent a very short email confirming your return to work date and role? If not you really should, do your position is absolutely clear. Don’t want on hr to come tell you they will be legal. Do not ask any questions in the email. Statements only.

Any update OP?

I’ve been told by HR that a procedure is being put in place to enable us to work on the same site - and asked if I still want to raise a formal grievance.

Haven’t acknowledged as yet, concerned my boss will try and move me a few months after returning

Do not rush a reply.

Get legal advice and union advice.

She tried to get rid of you.

She tried to take deeply illegal action against you.

They need explain themselves.

Hmm. You need to push hr on what kind of procedure given your jobs currently aren’t in breach of policy. Hr are on their side, carry on with the grievance, and ask hr why They think you might halt the grievance if they don’t seem able to answer a direct question about their own policy (they might be more likely to answer if they think for a minute you will call off the grievance)
You will be much better placed to argue if they try to move you in a few months if you have formal proceedings backing you.