Employer making life VERY difficult.

[Titslikepicassos]

Supposed to be returning from MAT leave in June, have childcare arranged and as a key worker they will still take my baby - excellent.

Had a team meeting with work this week to discuss going back and have been told that I have to relocate as my partner works on the same site as me - which has been known since I informed them we were in a relationship, however the policy changed in October (before I went on MAT leave). While we are on the same site, our jobs are separate and we are working in different buildings, have different managers and different hours. The different hours means I will need to do drop offs and pick ups to coincide with opening and closing hours.

So during the middle of a pandemic, with child care mostly closed I now have to find a new nursery, lose a significant term time deposit and start the settling in process all over again. Not only that, they have told me to find my own employment within the company - my head is exploding with all of this. AIBU to think this is an unnecessary ball ache!

I appreciate that this is a minor problem given the amount of people losing jobs!

A 2 week pattern with different days is not going to work for most child care providers and therefore moving to this new pattern would inappropriately disadvantage parents of young children. Have they done an equality impact assessment of the proposed change?

I think you should go back to the lawyer you spoke to and ask what updates advice they can give you.

The differing days sounds a nightmare. Unless a nursery had lots of spaces I cannot imagine anywhere not charging you for the day you don't use each week'

Another thing - i work in a regulated industry, in the meeting regarding partner and I working together, I was informed that the regulator was informed of my relationship. I was a bit  at the time but didn’t question it, but I’m not sure how happy I am about this

I suspect they may have broken GDPR unless you've actually breached regulator guidance (unlikely)

@GoldenBlue - I’d guess they haven’t done anything of the sort.

The only people in my team with young children are myself and my male opposite. I believe he isn’t at the stage of needing child care as his wife is at home with the children. HR said they needed to consider and ensure fairness and consistency across the entire team with the operational needs.

This whole situation is doing my head in.

It's not 'fair' if it negatively impacts one team member more than another due to a protected characteristic.

In this case you may argue that as on average more women have childcare responsibilities that this change of rotating days may impact you more than others.

Keep holding firm

Arseholes.

Sorry. Nothing helpful to add. Fuckers .

Are you able to have your lawyer on the zoom meetings with you? Has your lawyer been good up to now?

Why does childcare and detriment to career still always fall to the woman??

I asked my husband if he wanted to share parental leave this time and he said yes but he'd be worried it would mess up his career and he'd bet thought of badly! Welcome to my world!

Asking about an equality impact assessment is a good idea imo. It will let them know that you are at least exploring the potential discrimination aspect of their decision.

Their proposal might be doable for a couple, if the other parent was a able to change their working arrangements at short notice, but it would be impossible for a single parent. And 90% of single parents are women, so it could be an equalities issue.

I bet they haven't done one, but if they have, I bet isn't very thorough.

Why does childcare and detriment to career still always fall to the woman??

Because men want to keep the best jobs to themselves.

I think as this is a different issue, I’m going to use my union for this.

They kept telling me in the meeting that I’ve got 95% of the hours I wanted - failing to acknowledge that is wasn’t what I ‘wanted’ but the hours I was told to work before they changed their minds.

DP has offered to hand his notice in but why should it come down to that? I just want to go back to work

I hope this week has been ok OP.

Can you (family you, not you) find a different childcare provider if the hours are going to be static from now on?

I have yet another meeting next week.

Can’t change provider and can’t use current provider for the hours they want me to do (different days every two weeks)

I'm glad your partner is supportive during all of this

Sorry they’re being so difficult.

They are digging a very deep hole for themselves!! What's to stop you putting in writing "you have never asked what shifts I would like. The shifts I would like are x y z please look at accommodating them."?

So I put my formal grievance in - the union are advising me.

Thank you SO much for all the support I’ve received on this thread, I wouldn’t have done anything without this kick up arse. Still not sure if I done the right thing and concerned about not having job at the start of a massive recession but it’s either this or hand my notice in.

Good luck

Good for you standing up for yourself. Let's be honest too - if you hadn't put a grievance in you were on borrowed time at that workplace. They treated you poorly and them getting away with that would have eaten at you. This way you're proactive and there's a chance you come away with your job intact and, if they deal with things well, more respect for them.

Life is always a risk. I really hope it goes the best possible way it can for you.

OP, I think you might be right about them pushing you out.
Perhaps they are convinced they need to be "streamlining"

They are making this very, very difficult.

Also told that they didn’t tell me sooner as they didn’t want to stress me out

Seriously? That is the lamest, most blatant example of CYA I have ever heard. "We didn't want to upset the 'little mother.' " Like this sh*t isn't stressful?
Clearly, they think you both are going to roll over.
Give 'em hell, sister!

Best of luck @Titslikepicassos

Think you were between a rock and a hard place, but having union backing was the right way to go as they are able to negotiate your employment.

Thanks all.

@ilovemydogandMrObama - The union has also been better at reassuring me, they haven’t painted a rosy picture but they’ve been much more supportive than the lawyer I used at the beginning