To think self-care is just a load of faff

[MeltedStars]

I’ve been terrible at looking after myself since lockdown began so I made an effort to do all those things I used to do, and I just exhausted by it all.

1 hour exercise
Cook a healthy breakfast (instead of just popping in a piece of toast)
Face mask
Exfoliate for body (and now body scrub on the bathroom floor to clean up)
Shower, inc hair wash
Face serum/ eye cream/ moisturiser
Full body cream

Now I’m sitting on the bed trying to gear myself up to blow dry my hair as I know I will feel better if I do, but ugh! I don’t want to (not to mention my triceps are killing me)

I’m looking at my toe nails and thinking I should really sort the polish out
I still need to pluck my eyebrows and rogue upper lip hairs
I’m completely ignoring doing my own wax today as it takes 2 hours, but I also know it will be more painful if I leave it

And that’s before you even get to ‘mental and emotional’ self care.

AIBU to think it really is a huge faff and I would have been better just putting clean pjs on and eat a piece of cake?

I have taken heed to this to all your comments, come back from shopping to put some comfy joggers on and have a bottle of wine ready to enjoy a nice glass tonight whilst watching some Netflix.

Have a lovely evening, OP

Isn't self-care relative? For me, it's things like exercising or having baths.

Isn't self-care relative? For me, it's things like exercising or having baths.

And just doing what you feel you need to.

It's really not self care if you hate doing it.

Self care is different for everyone. I do all the basics - hair wash, blow drying, showering, moisturising etc. Self care to me is also getting lots of sleep, exercising and going to the hairdressers (when I can).

If self care to you is chilling and eating a piece of cake then why not

It's really not self care if you hate doing it.

I disagree. Sometimes we have to do things for the greater good.

Walking out on my abusive husband was a massive act of self care- but a deeply unpleasant thing to do.

I don’t think that’s quite what the poster was saying, given the context.

It’s not self care if you hate doing it and it is of little to no actual benefit to you.

For me, self care is the little things. It's wearing Christmas socks year round because I like them, every time I put my shoes on or off IUser then and have a little smile. It's using my 'best' mug for coffee every day because it makes me happy. It's about finding and enjoying those few moments every day that say 'I am worth this, this time, this effort'. Sometimes it's a long bath, but mostly its the tinier, every day things that make the difference.

ImFreeToDoWhatIWant

I love the tiny things too. They all stack up.

I like to sprinke a few drops of my favourite essential oil in the bottom of the shower, the hot water creates an amazing "spa shower".
I whisper blessings into my tea, take time to pull a stalk of lavender and smell it, rub my feet with coconut oil every day before putting on my socks, sit and have a few anxiety clearing breaths when things get stressful., stroke my cat, open the window to let in a cool breeze, fill a hot water bottle if I have cold feet.
I do many acts of self care every day, very simple things that nurture my spirit.

Carrying on, it's drinking cherry coke out of a champagne flute because it makes me feel good. It's re-reading my favourite Terry Pratchett book for the hundred and fifty first time because it's comforting. Anything that feels like an obgilation is rarely self care.

@speakout - absolutely. For those of us parenting in the sphere of additional needs, self care of the pampering type described in the op is usually unimaginable and frankly unattainable. So we find it in the things we can achieve. The things that take only moments but which salve our soul.

ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings
Semantics aside - to me it looks like OP was attempting a marathon of sorting out her everything in one go starting from the outside in - women have been doing things for themselves for a long time. Yes a lot of it comes down to external appearance but marketing and the beauty industry are simply tapping into long held traditions. The same with the cooking trend which has been going for a while. It’s something that’s always taken place but it’s been repackaged. And it may aim to improve revenue for certain industries but most people are still doing it their own way.
I use cosmetics recipes from when my grandmother was young. I don’t know much about it but India has a rich history of home made skin and hair care which goes hand in hand with wellbeing and medicinal self care. Same in China. A lot of countries have very old traditional remedies for beauty and health based on local conditions.
So modern marketing is simply expanding on old well used concepts. Nothing wrong with that. That’s what marketing does. Most people can see through it. At the same time, in the context of the whole world, purely for economical reasons, I suspect there are more women doing diy treatments than purchasing ready made products.
And if some women want to look nice for the benefit of men that’s fine too. If the process and end result makes them feel good, then I don’t see a problem with it.

N'ah you've got it all wrong.

The lockdown rules (that I created) are:

Brush your teeth
Shower
Dress

everything else is unnecessary!