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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Or are employers being crap towards working parents?

82 replies

UntamedShrew · 02/05/2020 09:02

I just wanted to get a sense of if my employer is being particularly shit or if others are in the same boat. There has been no adjustment in workload, in fact it’s higher than ever. I can see why and I’m happy to do my bit but...
I work part time (2 days a week) but it’s currently more like 4, as reacting to the crisis means there is more to do.
I have been asked to take a pay cut even though I’m already only earning for part time hours so earning a fraction of full time (male!) colleagues.
Not one person from HR or my boss has checked in to see if I’m ok.
Not one person from HR has checked in on my (quite young and in less secure financial positions) colleagues.
I work in the City so any cost savings won’t be used to save jobs, it’ll be to protect profits.
I feel like I’m letting my children down to slave for an unappreciative boss, as I’m having to largely leave them to school themselves - and they are too young to do so (7 and 10).

AIBU and should I feel happy to have any job frankly, or am I justified in feeling exploited and undervalued? As I said would love to know if others are having a similar experience or if any other firms have put in place any decent measures to look after staff wellbeing.

OP posts:

HandfulOfFlowers · 02/05/2020 09:08

Sounds like your employer is not doing a great job on this do far. My husband is full time but has been allowed to adjust his hours so he can cover the first two hours of morning school every day. His company also gave everyone an allowance to set up proper, healthy home offices (they are a net winner during lockdown though so I realise not all companies can afford to do this allowance). I am part time and again, have been allowed to flex my hours to cover the rest of the school stuff. We have a voluntary all company Teams meeting with the CEO every day, as well as a casual coffee session every day where people chat rather than talk shop.

Fairyliz · 02/05/2020 09:09

It depends. Had everyone been asked to take a pay cut, say 10% across the board? What is your job and salary? If you are an admin assistant paid pro rata to £20k per year then no you shouldn’t be paid for two days but work 4.
However if you are paid pro rata to say £80k pa then surely you work to the demands of the job not the hours.
As for checking in on your well-being as can be seen on numerous threads some people want it, some hate it. Have you spoken to your manager?

underneaththeash · 02/05/2020 09:10

But unless you've told them that your working extra hours, then they won't know.

Make it clear that you're working extra days and therefore are not willing to take a pay cut.

A friend of mine who works for the government is working 5 days a week, as opposed to her usual three and has just been given a pay rise.

Darbs76 · 02/05/2020 09:11

Yes they are BU. I am a manger and I’ve told all my staff with young children to just make a note of how many hours they are short by each week and I’ll do a flexi update. Everyone is aware that some are homeschooling so not easy so no pressure on anyone. I’m in touch most days with my staff - weekly phone calls (more sometimes) and video chat.

insancerre · 02/05/2020 09:11

My employers are making a huge effort to make sure we feel appreciated and supported
I work in a nursery and it’s quite stressful at the moment
I’ve actually had a pay rise and we’ve all had a personal thank you card with cash inside from the directors hand delivered by them
We also have chocolate treats
All furloughed staff are contacted by phone and email to check they are ok
It’s been something of a surprise as normally they are not so forthcoming with the praise but it’s nice to be appreciated
I’m sorry you are not feeling the same, any chance you can kick back a bit and stop doing so much?

LittleBearPad · 02/05/2020 09:11

Not one person from HR or my boss has checked in to see if I’m ok. Not one person from HR has checked in on my (quite young and in less secure financial positions) colleagues.

This is crap. Are you doing 4 full days or two days over 4 days or something in the middle.

Can you push back on some of the work?

Darbs76 · 02/05/2020 09:12

You also need to speak up though. Advise your boss you’re doing more hours. Or don’t do them, I’d tell my boss what I’m able to do and what I can’t. They will have to allocate that work to someone else

firstmentat · 02/05/2020 09:13

What would you like your employer to do? I am a single parent working in the City, there are no special adjustments I expect. I asked to drop hours as I cannot do full time anymore and this has been accommodated. I asked to take all my annual leave in one go and it was approved, no questions asked.
I am also a manager and outside of weekly team check-ins I don't feel like I need to babysit people in my team. They know I am always there for them to help to the best of my abilities if they are in a difficulty.

Dishwashersaurous · 02/05/2020 09:13

Do they know that you are doing double hours? What have you proposed to address that?

maddening · 02/05/2020 09:14

What did you say to the paycut and has it happened? That with double the work makes it Yanbu for me?

And if they have cut your pay then do 2 days and let them sort their own shit out. That would give.you 3 days to sort the dc.

Theonewiththecandles · 02/05/2020 09:16

Your employer is rubbish.
Ours do not expect full time hours from working parents and they can work whatever hours they can fit.
We have a team catch up every single day just to chat and have a laugh
If you're not having a good day and want to finish early, that's fine to expectation to use flex you can just go.
They are very adamant about us clocking off on time and now working more

Infradoug · 02/05/2020 09:16

Sorry to hear OP, same boat here. I agree its shocking, they are utterly exploiting the situation. To a previous poster, I would be very surprised if they didn't know how hard OP is working, people rarely work in isolation and there will be emails being sent out late at night and early in the morning as well as throughout the day which make it clear the OP is working well beyond her contractual hours.

Weebitawks · 02/05/2020 09:17

My company has been excellent. I did type out a pretty long reply about the ways in which they've been great but it came across as incredibly smug and you don't need that right now.

I'm sorry your company has been so shit. If it makes a difference, I work for a small company and the director does really care about his staff.

Original poster

UntamedShrew · 02/05/2020 09:18

Thanks for your replies. I’ve told my boss I’m doing extra hours but it wasn’t acknowledged. Pay cut is senior level only (which is right) but I feel I’m contributing twice with extra hours and a pay cut on top. This week I worked five days but with longer lunch breaks and slightly earlier finishes most days so probably works out at 4 to 4.5.
I’m worried about the mental health of my team too, and feel bad I don’t have time to check in properly with them while this isn’t being done by HR.
I’m just cross about it all but this doesn’t feel like the right time to kick up a fuss, when redundancies are bound to happen.

OP posts:

Dishwashersaurous · 02/05/2020 09:20

Three separate issues

Pay cut- pretty normal across the board most companies

Lack of support- city companies par for the course

Your particular situation working double- not ok

middleager · 02/05/2020 09:22

YANBU. I am 26 hrs in theory, though more like 30 hrs usually. Right now I am ending up working evenings and weekends and my non working day at the moment, but I claim this back as TOIL. It's not ideal, but I took it last week on Mon/Tues (once I get into the stresses of the week this wouldn't have happened).

You have to speak out though and have a discussion. Nobody else will speak for you.

Goodwill is one thing, but working over regularly for no extra pay AND a cut is taking the piss.

Dishwashersaurous · 02/05/2020 09:23

Can you formally request to increase to four days to reflect your work?

middleager · 02/05/2020 09:26

Just read your update.
Go back to your boss and ask for a meeting to discuss what measures S/he intends to put in place to accommodate the extra hours as it's not tenable. Or simply email them with an open question.

Or, just stop doing it. They'll notice and have to adjust accordingly.

QuestionMarkNow · 02/05/2020 09:27

I’d cut back on two day s a week of work saying that in current circumstances, it’s not feasible.
Checking on you: not just the City. DH work hasn’t done that either.
Pay cut?? Why?? Of course it depends on what sort of wage you are in but I have not heard that before I have to say....

Dishwashersaurous · 02/05/2020 09:27

Or just stop doing excess work and only work on two days

DocusDiplo · 02/05/2020 09:30

It's hard. You're right. My company are making the right noises but it's so stressful. I'm single parent and I feel bad for my kids as I'm at my desk all day every day and still achieving little due to interruptions.

amy85 · 02/05/2020 09:31

I’m worried about the mental health of my team too, and feel bad I don’t have time to check in properly with them while this isn’t being done by HR.

I wouldn't want some random from HR ringing me to check in with me...if anyone is going to do that it is surely a line managers job as they actually have a relationship with the person they would be contacting

DecadentDeity · 02/05/2020 09:31

I think they are taking the piss. You should not be taking a pay cut and doing twice the hours. One of these requests would have been bad enough. I agree though it isn’t the right time to kick up a fuss - no one’s job is secure and companies are trying to take advantage of that - even companies who have not been affected by the crisis.

Fairyliz · 02/05/2020 09:32

So you are a senior manager and haven’t checked on the well being of your staff but are cross HR aren’t making sure you are ok?
I’m not sure a call from an HR person who didn’t particularly know me or the work pressures would necessarily help, surely that would just take up more time?

2outof3Mightbebad · 02/05/2020 09:33

They sound pretty shit but I'm not sure where you being a parent comes into it.

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