Or are employers being crap towards working parents?

[UntamedShrew]

I just wanted to get a sense of if my employer is being particularly shit or if others are in the same boat. There has been no adjustment in workload, in fact it’s higher than ever. I can see why and I’m happy to do my bit but...
I work part time (2 days a week) but it’s currently more like 4, as reacting to the crisis means there is more to do.
I have been asked to take a pay cut even though I’m already only earning for part time hours so earning a fraction of full time (male!) colleagues.
Not one person from HR or my boss has checked in to see if I’m ok.
Not one person from HR has checked in on my (quite young and in less secure financial positions) colleagues.
I work in the City so any cost savings won’t be used to save jobs, it’ll be to protect profits.
I feel like I’m letting my children down to slave for an unappreciative boss, as I’m having to largely leave them to school themselves - and they are too young to do so (7 and 10).

AIBU and should I feel happy to have any job frankly, or am I justified in feeling exploited and undervalued? As I said would love to know if others are having a similar experience or if any other firms have put in place any decent measures to look after staff wellbeing.

If I'm paid for 2 days, I wouldnt work any extra days. Its down to you, to only work on your scheduled days. If questioned about your work load. Explain that you only get paid for 2 days, the last few weeks you've been working 5 days. You're no longer working over the hours you get paid for.

“there will be emails being sent out late at night and early in the morning as well as throughout the day which make it clear the OP is working well beyond her contractual hours.”

That’s not evidence of working extra hours. You can set an email to be delayed sent at any time you want. Right now, I can do an email and then set it to automatically be sent out at 10pm or 6am tomorrow.

worried about the mental health of my team too, and feel bad I don’t have time to check in properly with them while this isn’t being done by HR

As someone else above has touched on above, the prime responsibiltiy to check in on your team is their manager. If you can't do it then then you should contact HR for support, have you talked to them?

As a HR manager through this crazy awful time, no one checks in on HR to see if we are ok. If you need support from HR please contact them. I have checked in on our staff and Head of Departments but it's not been easy to fit all that in alongside dealing with everyone who wants my help and dealing with unrealistic expectations from above (plus the day job!). I also have a 3 year old to care for while I work and I also work PT but doing FT hours during this. With pressure from bosses, furloughing staff, taking pay cuts ourselves and administering things we might not necessarily agree with we are a very stretched, stressed out bunch, there no HR for HR to call on for support.

Please contact HR and talk with them, they will be going through it just as you are.

OP,
As PPs said, you should only work your two days. The avenue between you/boss and you/HR goes both ways. Call them if you have concerns and questions. Don’t just sit there an expect them to call you. They probably think that not hearing from you means you are doing ok. If you want to work more, you need to contact your boss and HR so that you get paid for the extra work. If you just work extra hours without getting pre-approval then the company is under no obligation to pay you for those extra hours worked.

Good to get your perspective thank you Drinking. Funnily enough I did check in with HR Director how she is doing and she told me it was awful and she hates it all but didn’t ask how I or team were doing! But I know she is having an absolute shocker and this has to come from the top really. I can check in and do this daily - I just don’t know if I’m doing it right if that makes sense. Not sure they’d tell me how they are feeling, they are all quite quiet.
And mainly I’m cross that telling my boss about extra hours was ignored but I know you’re doing the same and it’s not uncommon right now.

Surely as a manager you know you have the responsibilty to know what you need to do if anyone in your team has health needs?

MH problems are very common outside of COVID.

In normal times would you expect HR to be calling your team members to check on their MH?

Would just asking them if they're okay and saying 'you're not the best person to deal with (MH problems)' be okay usually?

There are policies and procedures in place surely?

Sounds like they are being unreasonable whether you are a parent or not, I don't know what that's got to do with it. But yes they are taking advantage of you.

2outof3 in our organisation that responsibility would fall to their line manager. I don’t line manage anyone. So checking in from me is additional to what their direct manager is already doing.

"Fewer calls full stop"

THIS!!!

Candy floss good point! Was just interested in experiences of other parents but yes that is very true.

Diazapam it’s madness how many video calls! I keep waiting for the craze to die down

You’ve still not mentioned what sort of salary you are on, sorry but I think it makes a difference. Someone on average salary shouldn’t really be doing much more, but if you are on 3x average salary (pro rata) think you have to suck it up.

So if it's not your official responsibilty but their line manager; why are you thinking HR should be doing it? Your posts are confusing.

You say peoples MH is being neglected and you're worried about it but you can't deal with it as don't know enough so HR should? but then you say they have line managers that should be dealing with it?

Are you not liaising with line managers about their direct reports that are in your team?

You’ve still not mentioned what sort of salary you are on, sorry but I think it makes a difference. Someone on average salary shouldn’t really be doing much more, but if you are on 3x average salary (pro rata) think you have to suck it up. Our staff are paid 3x average salary - we would not expect them to suck it up to the extent the OP is expected to.

I think your employer is being particularly shit.

I also work for a city firm.

Yes we are on a cost saving drive but they are acting to protect permanent staff and not have to make redundancies. Projects have been halted and contractors laid off. However they are also funding extra costs of wfh encouraging buying equipment and a monthly bursary while this goes on. Also travel now restricted and expectation that expenses are down.

Senior management have scheduled fortnightly calls with everyone in the business. Line managers encouraged to catch up with their teams regularly.

The message is well and truly family first and fit in work when you can. I have two DDs and so this is much appreciated as trying to fit in home school and working isn't easy.

As a result I feel well supported and am working hard for my company. So they also win and are gaining extra loyalty too.

Bakewell that’s really useful to know, thank you and I’m glad you’re having a better experience.

Sounds pretty crap to me. I am furloughed, my boss has checked in twice to make sure if I am okay.
DP is wfh, there is more work than normal but same pay. His boss has introduced a 15 minute team meeting every morning to check how everyone is and IT are providing excellent remote support.
I am sorry your company are so crap.

I'm classed as a key worker and I'm working from home. Public sector. I can't be furloughed for childcare reasons even if I ask. Flexi and toil scrapped at moment.

Core hours meant to be 10 until 6.

Frequently working from 8 until mid night - back to back video cons from 9am until about 5pm.

I'm very grateful to have a job and happy to pull my weight but I've a 2 year old, 5 year old and 6 year old and they've lost out. They're in front of the tv most of the day at the moment as I'm in video cons.

I start home schooling but I'm not there to monitor it.

My work is very reactive so I can't do it outside of work hours.

No one has asked how I'm doing or the kids. Not their problem I know but don't they think - when I've been on a tele-con for 2 hours "who has the kids"?

Husband can step in from next week which solves it

My employer has always been really reasonable for working parents anyway (letting me leave work to go to school events for example and not demanding it's taken as extended lunch/holiday/unpaid) and they have gone even further to support now.

My manager checks in with us a minimum of twice a week, when I was overloaded with work another manager arranged for my work load to be spread country wide (we work regionally) and have checked in regularly with me to see how else they can help.

My boss has said if we need to take an hour or two off work for any reason to just do it, not worry about claiming those hours as holiday just dont take the piss.

So yes, your work is rubbish.

My boss made me cry last night.

I work part time. Usually three short days and one full. I’ve split the full day over two and now work five days, so that DD isn’t left to her own devices all day.

I’ve had a crap time homeschooling, DH is still working full time from home and I’m on the kitchen table as only room in the office for one person.

I spent most of yesterday in tears after DDs outright refusal to do anything at all, my work from the day before hadn’t fully saved and I basically feel like I’m failing at life.

He rang me last night to make sure I was ok, and did I want him to furlough me so I can concentrate on DD.

I’m tempted to say yes, but my job is my one bit of ‘normal’ at the moment.

UntamedShrew Non-Departmental Government Body - QUANGO by any other name.

My employer is being fantastic. I've been really impressed.
I'm still working full-time as is DH plus we have a 5 year old.
There is an acknowledgement that people may be working unusual hours and are also juggling many responsibilities so we're being reminded to be patient and understanding of our colleagues.
We're also reminded weekly to take to to relax and use annual leave to get time away from work. We were also given some extra days leave over Easter with strict instructions to stay off emails.

I hear you. There are two of us plus boss. Other person had a work laptop, I do not. No accommodation for the fact I have two sen children to homeschool. No decrease in workload or accommodation for the fact the remote access is slow. Was furloughed, brought back for a week, expecting to be furloughed again but boss hasn't actually spoken to me about it,I heard from.other staff member who hasn't been furloughed. In fact I would rather have been furloughed completely rather then off and on again pattern due to childcare reasons. All work is timed, so need to clock exact hours each day, no flexibility. Boss, apart from initial.we are going to furlough you email, has not spoken to me at all except when something is "wrong".

I have not heard from my boss but I'm not that bothered to be honest as I know they have lots more pressing priorities and I am self-sufficient.

I do however feel it is very wishy-washy regarding working parents especially those with younger children. We are being advised to do our hours when we can but this is really tricky as DH is expected to work full time from home and DS (6) cannot be left for hours a day. So I just end up feeling guilty for not achieving enough at work or managing to do any of the home schooling tasks.

I do wish work had said to parents of primary age children that they weren't expected to achieve all their hours because we would need to spend part of our day home schooling our children. Colleagues with older children 11+ can leave them to their own devices much more and those with pre-school children aren't bombarded by tasks from teachers.

I am finding the dual expectations of work and school extremely detrimental to my mental health

We have daily team zoom meetings (and fortnightly zoom pub) where there is always a bit of initial bonding and sharing of amusing stories before discussing workloads and progress but I don't think that's enough of a check in - it's not the place to discuss how people are coping - that needs to be done separately.