To feel so bad for other people?

[imcold]

I'm hoping I can articulate this correctly! Since I was little I have had a massive problem with feeling so sorry for people. It could be an old man walking up the street or someone being told off, I just have massive guilt about it (even if I'm nothing to do with it!). My mum used to think I was odd as I would cry for people I didn't even know!
Recently at work we've taken on new staff (hospital) and if they don't pass the training they get sent home!
I've been in tears several times this past few weeks as a few have been sent home. DH says I'm too sensitive but I just can't help but feel so so bad for people! Does anyone else feel like this? I just hate seeing people disappointed or upset even if I don't know them. Am I weird?!

You are highly empathetic. It isn't the worst trait but if it is causing you unnecessary heartache seek some help.
My oldest Dsis is such a softy too she cries for hours after DIY SOS it is banned in her home, she often stops her car for the elderly struggling with shopping, she is a lovely warm person.

It's the weirdest thing. I can feel sorry for people that by looking at them! They're probably not even feeling sad themselves 😂

She is similar but has showed strenght in situations she never thought she had.
It is not a bad thing.

I'm a bit like this too. Very, very empathetic and sensitive. It's always been in me but definitely got stronger when I became a mother.

However usually it's worse with people I don't know! Anything sad on the news involving parents and children- I can't cope. Similarly, old men But in real life I am generally able to rise above it. You can't let it affect your professional life too much. It's lovely to be so kind and nice but you need to develop a defence mechanism in professional situations or it will eat at you.

I'm terrible for feeling sorry for people, animals, everything 😭 I feel so guilty over everything from things that happened years ago, to everyone who died in the world wars, to an old person sat on their own. Definitely highly empathetic as someone else mentioned, definitely not a bad trait. Causes some unnecessary stress sometimes 😂

@EmmaA91 it's a nightmare! I'm constantly feeling irrational guilt over things I can't control!
My youngest seems to have inherited it too. He feels bad about everything! I once looked out his clothes and he changed the t shirt then spent about an hour saying sorry and that the t shirt I'd picked was fine but he wanted the other one!

Welcome to my world OP, and I love that you exist because where would we be without people like you. For every empath there's about 100 unfeeling Aholes, so crack on. I have no real advice because I myself am trying to navigate life trying not to fall apart watching adverts for animal /childrens charities.

Yes, this is me all over!

OP I am exactly the same. My DSIS too.
It's exhausting being so emotional!

I'm like this too re old people. Especially old men. If I see one struggling to walk or pushing a tripod thing, I have to try not to look as I know I will get upset.

I get this too OP, I wish I could turn it off. It’s not so much as tears for me, but I feel I have to defend them. So I have a tendency for taking up other people’s battles for them

It’s stupid in a way as someone can insult and call me names and it wouldn’t bother me, would just make me laugh. If the same thing happened to someone else I know i would go full warrior rage on them!

I don’t know why this is, I know I shouldn’t!

@Thepigeonsarecoming yes! I'm not overly offended if someone is nasty to me but if I see someone else being hurt I can't cope!

I am the same, it's really hard! I get so bloody upset over things that other people are able to feel a little sad about and then move on!

Wow OP, are you me? I remember as a child crying for old men on the bus, thinking they were so cute. I'm still the same. With everything. I wish I wasn't like this though.

It’s pretty self-indulgent. Can you channel all that empathy into doing something for the benefit of other people , rather than just going pointlessly soggy over elderly men on the street and congratulating yourself on how sensitive you are? And would you want the hospital to retain staff who failed training?

Well I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you at all. I think the world would be a much nicer place if we were all like you than some of the selfish arseholes that I’ve met in life. There wouldn’t be any animal cruelty, no child abuse and wouldn’t it make for a lovely world

Did anything happen in your childhood to trigger these overstrong emotions. Your DS could be imitating your anxieties if he picked up on them whilst growing up. You are imagining the distress of those failing the training I think, but you dont' know they feel that way, perhaps they want to stay on Job Seekers until a better job comes up.
I think some counselling would help.
I get very angry at unfair treatment, but was one of five so suspect that it stems from feeling hard done by as a child.

I’m exactly the same. I cry because there’s an old man who walks his dog up my road every day. Every time I see him I sob.

So you feel sorry for people just by looking at them? (Your second post). Isn't that rather arrogant of you? Apparently knowing they are deserving of your tears/ condescension?

You may have this personality type where you can almost feel the other person's emotions. introvertdear.com/news/infj-secrets/

I could’ve written this myself. It is very hard work to always feel people’s pain, I’m often in tears for other people and really deeply feel hurt for them. I’ve had to stop watching the news as I will feel down for days I’d I hear bad news!
It’s a gift in some ways to be so connected to others but I know it’s hard sometimes

Crying over "cute" old men in the street?! Isn't that extremely patronising!?

I am like this combined with an innate desire to try and fix everything for everyone. It is absolutely exhausting emotionally. I have made a conscious decision the last few years not to become involved with the sort of people I was previously drawn to, those that needed fixing. I now withdraw at the first sign of it. I have acted to the detriment of my own emotional well-being before because of this stupid rescuer complex

Warning! Armchair psychology here:

Could you be overcompensating for something?

Someone or some incident in your early life or childood made you believe you are a bad or selfish person?

It must be exhausting for you. Or do you feel better after crying?

Does it get worse when you are stressed out or going through difficult times?

Might CBT help? For example, how offended they would be if they knew how much you pity them? Or if their lives are actually much better than you expect or even yours? If they disliked you or thought what you are doing is weird? If they are in reality abusive, fraudsters, nasty ...etc? Would any of this jolt you back and make you reel in your emotions?

I don't think this is an issue of empathy, necessarily.

Do you then have people comforting you, making a foss of you or even complimrnting your kind heart thus giving you attention? Peehaps its a sign to others not to upset you because you are a good and sensitive person?

Is it that you feel you can't cry for yourself and own sadness and disappointments but find it easier to explain and less indulgent to release your emotions under the subtext of it being about others?

I'm fascinated by this becauae my mother was like you.

I recommend you don't ever visit the Sistine Chapel