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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to have reported to 101?

76 replies

Nc57mn · 01/05/2020 18:05

First time poster just trying to figure it out. Long post apologies in advance. when I left our work carpark a guy who was parked on path went to pull out without seeing me maybe (?) wasn't going to stop when he did though. When I passed him and when he beeped at me I stuck my fingers up at him (yes I was wrong to do that but instant reaction) He tailgated me all the way from there but began pulling back when we got on a main road. I somehow got the feeling he was following me so I did a double back on myself down some roads I knew to come back out on main road...he followed me so I knew something wasn't right. I pulled into the petrol garage over the road from my estate (was not going to drive home) and he pulled in and blocked my car. I made sure my door was locked thank f**k as he got out his car and came up to my window shouting are you going to apologise!! Asked me to get out of my car...after you've followed me don't think so. He tried to open my car door and when I wouldn't get out hit my window with his car keys and called me a bitch. When he went round back of my car I quickly got out to take a picture of his reg and asked him if he thought he was big to follow and intimidate a lone female he said are you going to apologise I said no you nearly hit my car he said we're even then and got in his car and drove off...this happened at half 2 I'm still shaking.... I got the fuel I actually needed and when I went to pay I broke down the guys said they had CCTV so I've reported it to 101... He would have followed me to my house so glad I didn't drive home....told you it was long so thank you for reading x

OP posts:
Windyatthebeach · 01/05/2020 18:08

You stuck your fingers up at him. Should he have not retaliated because you are a woman?

leolion81 · 01/05/2020 18:11

@Windyatthebeach are you serious? You think sticking fingers up at someone condones what he did? Does no one have any empathy or common sense on this site?

imsooverthisdrama · 01/05/2020 18:12

He's a absolute nutter hope you are ok , no you are not wrong he intimidated you .

@Windyatthebeach what he followed her to scare her , she just stuck a finger up at him , that does not mean he had the right to follow her .
I honestly don't know what's up with some people at the minute Hmm

TerrorWig · 01/05/2020 18:13

He should not have retaliated because he’s a grown adult Hmm what a fucking idiotic thing to say.

There is no reason to intimidate and threaten a person in their car because they reacted to your bad driving.

This happened to me once OP, I was a new driver and it was terrifying. My crime was pulling onto a crossroads to turn left at the same time he wanted to turn right onto the same road. I had ROW as I was there first and my side of the road but he followed me to a petrol station. This was 20 years ago and I still remember how scary it was.

EbbandTheWanderingHearts · 01/05/2020 18:14

I'm not sure sticking your fingers up at someone warrants being followed and intimidated. YANBU to report him to the police.

Windyatthebeach · 01/05/2020 18:16

He beeped to acknowledge his mistake as I read it. Op should have accepted that as an apology not created further conflict...

imsooverthisdrama · 01/05/2020 18:20

What then he chased after her wtf why do you think that's ok @Windyatthebeach

Buzzer3555 · 01/05/2020 18:21

You were initially in the wrong but his reaction was waaaaay over the top. You did right to report him

Windyatthebeach · 01/05/2020 18:23

You antagonised a driver.
He was a twat agreed but police have better to do don't you think?

TooTrueToBeGood · 01/05/2020 18:25

You stuck your fingers up at him. Should he have not retaliated because you are a woman?

Appropriate retaliation, if he really felt the need, would have been to give her the finger back. As to her being a woman, I very much doubt he would have followed and acted so confrontationally if it was a well built male.

CrazyTimesAreOccurring · 01/05/2020 18:25

Why is the first answer so often stupid? Almost as though the posters just rush to be the first and say any old crap

YANBU OP, sounds like a real idiot.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 01/05/2020 18:31

windy you are beyond belief, the man was clearly acting in an aggressive and threatening manner. Hardly comparible for giving someone the finger when they were in the wrong in the first place.
Op I hope you feel better, this wasnt your fault and you did the right thing reporting him.

LakieLady · 01/05/2020 18:32

@Windyatthebeach, his response was utterly disproportionate to OP's cheeky gesture.

I'm glad you reported him, OP. People with short fuses and aggressive reactions are a bloody danger on the roads.

Hope you're feeling ok now. Have a Gin, you probably need it.

wictional · 01/05/2020 18:33

Since when has anyone beeped to acknowledge mistake???

YANBU OP - sounds terrifying and I hope you’re ok!

WorraLiberty · 01/05/2020 18:36

101 - Not wrong to ring after it escalated.

When I passed him and when he beeped at me I stuck my fingers up at him (yes I was wrong to do that but instant reaction)

^^ Wrong to make excuses for your abusive behaviour.

Starduststatic · 01/05/2020 18:38

You stuck your fingers up at him. Should he have not retaliated because you are a woman?

His reaction was extremely disproportionate. Why couldn't he have just said foxtrot oscar and driven away? No need to follow OP home.

pepsirolla · 01/05/2020 18:38

The police would definitely be interested. (Several friends in the force) HE started it by undue care and attention, driving off without looking and although she may have irritated him by her gesture HIS reaction was totally over the top and intimidating. He may well have previous for this or other anger management issues and police want all crimes reported as it builds up a picture. One incident may seem trivial but may add to an already existing case. Hope you feel ok now opFlowers

MintyMabel · 01/05/2020 18:38

He beeped to acknowledge his mistake as I read it. Op should have accepted that as an apology not created further conflict...

You wave to acknowledge an error, you don’t sound your horn. What a ridiculous notion.

PeanutDouglas · 01/05/2020 18:40

Bloody hell. He’s a fucking tit. You are not BU at all. I also don’t think sticking two fingers up was wrong either

FliesandPies · 01/05/2020 18:41

Why is the first answer so often stupid?

Dickheads are like hawks hovering, waiting for an OP to sink their claws in

IgiveupallthenamesIwantedareg0 · 01/05/2020 18:46

If you give someone "the finger" you are being aggressive. Life is too short for this kind of sh!t.
It is time to open the wine and enjoy the evening-

Littlemeadow123 · 01/05/2020 18:50

@Windyatthebeach Are you actually the other driver?

Weallhavevalidopinions · 01/05/2020 18:58

I am thinking that he beeped to say sorry. I've done that and popped hand up to say sorry so he may have been surprised that you gave him the V sign?

However, his behaviour afterwards was extreme and wrong. He sounds a nutter. Best not to give anyone the V male or female - you really don't know who they are and what reaction you may trigger?

Sexnotgender · 01/05/2020 19:00

He’s an arse. Report him.

Drama123 · 01/05/2020 19:03

That's awful. Way over the top compared to what you did. I'm glad you reported it; probably isn't his first / last time
I hope you are able to calm down and feel a bit better tomorrow.