Aibu to have reported to 101?

[Nc57mn]

First time poster just trying to figure it out. Long post apologies in advance. when I left our work carpark a guy who was parked on path went to pull out without seeing me maybe (?) wasn't going to stop when he did though. When I passed him and when he beeped at me I stuck my fingers up at him (yes I was wrong to do that but instant reaction) He tailgated me all the way from there but began pulling back when we got on a main road. I somehow got the feeling he was following me so I did a double back on myself down some roads I knew to come back out on main road...he followed me so I knew something wasn't right. I pulled into the petrol garage over the road from my estate (was not going to drive home) and he pulled in and blocked my car. I made sure my door was locked thank f**k as he got out his car and came up to my window shouting are you going to apologise!! Asked me to get out of my car...after you've followed me don't think so. He tried to open my car door and when I wouldn't get out hit my window with his car keys and called me a bitch. When he went round back of my car I quickly got out to take a picture of his reg and asked him if he thought he was big to follow and intimidate a lone female he said are you going to apologise I said no you nearly hit my car he said we're even then and got in his car and drove off...this happened at half 2 I'm still shaking.... I got the fuel I actually needed and when I went to pay I broke down the guys said they had CCTV so I've reported it to 101... He would have followed me to my house so glad I didn't drive home....told you it was long so thank you for reading x

I think the fact that he almost hit you (if i have read that right?) and flicking him the v’s kind of cancel each other out. Him tailgating you and then being so fucking aggressive in the petrol station is well out of order. Glad you have reported him

Completely right to report him. Sticking your finger up at him does not excuse him following you, approaching your car, trying to open it and hitting your window. Let alone frightening the living daylights out of you.

All the posters excusing his behaviour because of you putting a finger up really need to check themselves.

Not okay for men to behave like this. Wonder if he would have tried the same if it was another man. Probably not the coward.

A man who reacts like that is dangerous to women. Would you want that man to be your husband or son! Report as he may have a history of aggressive behaviour. Men like this need to be put in their place.

Total arse. No wonder you were shaken up. He thought he had the right to intimidate you. Your question to him was a good one and I bet you're not the first person he's done this to. Hateful. Glad you reported him and lots of women on here support you.

YANBU
I hope he is prosecuted. The only thing for you is lesson learned. Don’t provoke others. Some men are ready and waiting to commit acts of violence and abuse.

YANBU he sounds like an absolute tosser. Would there be any CCTV on the route that you drove to show him following you? Regardless who is right or wrong here it doesn't give him the excuse to intimidate you and follow you then be aggressive. I hope the police pay him a visit.

@CrazyTimesAreOccurring
I've thought this about so many threads!!!

Hope you're ok now, OP. YANBU.

YANBU, he's a dangerous idiot and I doubt he would have done it if you were a man.

No one beeps to acknowledge a mistake, they beep to show they’re annoyed

It's partly your own fault. Accept some responsibility

When I passed him and when he beeped at me I stuck my fingers up at him (yes I was wrong to do that but instant reaction)

However the equal, balanced response to that would be to flick you the bird and possibly mouth "arsehole" at you. Anyone following you to deliberately intimidate you in the way he did automatically loses the moral high ground and becomes wanker of the day. Feel free to report anyone who behaves that way - he's a tosspot.

How is it her fault to be followed, be shouted at and have a man try to get in her car Carrie7469? Sure, sticking her finger up is rude, but his response is way over the top and bloody terrifying. I'm glad you reported him

@Carrie7469

Nobody on earth beeps to acknowledge a mistake, they beep to say "fuck off, wanker"

It was wrong, as OP acknowledged, to stick up two fingers. Please don'T ever do that in Germany as it's an offence and people do get fined for it.

Totally right to report to the police, though.

YANBU. I had something similar happen to me years ago, was shaking like a leaf when I got to work. Was persuaded by colleagues to report to police, who took it very seriously. It was a company car and they 'had a word' with him at work.

Op should have accepted that as an apology not created further conflict

Eh - a beep isn’t an apology. He was beeping because she didn’t let him ram his way in front of her.
To then follow her, pull in and block her, try to open her door, hit her windows with his keys and try to intimidate her calling her a bitch - oh yes, all OPs fault 🙄

I’m glad they have CCTV, you were right to report to 101. I hope they pay him a visit & give him a warning at least, not sure they will do much else tbh.
www.askthe.police.uk/content/Q383.htm

Have a & try to put him to the back of your mind. Don’t let him ruin your weekend

@knightlight

I agree. No way would he have behaved like that if the OP was a man.
Hope the police sort him out.

I'd been waiting in a longggg queue of traffic and when I was finally the second car from the lights, the guy in front rummaged around looking for something for so long the lights went back to red. He obviously saw me huffing and saying "oh for fucks sake" in his mirror, because he stuck his middle finger up at me.

I didn't follow him, shout at him and hit window, because I'm not a complete arsehole.

The guy was trying to intimidate her and I'd have reported it, too.

Jeez I've seen it all now, women piling in on another woman all but saying she bought it on herself to be followed, harassed, her car damaged and god knows what if he had managed to get inside, all because she gave him the finger for beeping at her (which is not an apology!) because of HIS shitty driving. But no, we have to be nice ladies

Definitely right to report to the police. It sounds terrifying, as he intended it to be!

Yes giving someone the finger isn’t ideal, but as pps have said, the proportionate response is to give the finger back, or maybe swear once. Following is totally out of all proportion and out of order.

Hope the police do take this further.

@Windyatthebeach sorry but are you actually serious?! You think someone following you home and shouting at you is a remotely appropriate reaction to someone sticking their finger up at you? How do you consider that to be reasonable???

The victim blamers are out in force tonight! get back in your caves.

OP - you have every right to report him to the police. that level of intimidation and aggression is totally uncalled for. You obviously bruised his fragile male ego which is his problem, not yours. You did the right thing by reporting him. he clearly has anger issues and can't control his temper - I really hope he doesn't have a wife and children at home.

YANBU and good for you having the sense not to drive straight home.

Sticking your fingers up at him was rude, but very tame and certainly not 'abusive' as a PP has stated. Even if the first bit was a misunderstanding and your knee- jerk reaction was a bit rude/ provocative, he followed you, shouted at you, asked you to get out of your car and hit keys against car. You are not to blame. Sounds horrible and you were quite right to report him.

You made the first act of aggression. But I agree his reaction was way over the top. Not sure if His report him myself, but you have grounds to.