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AIBU?

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Original poster

to ask when my toddler will be able to interact with other kids again?

72 replies

ShambalaHambala · 01/05/2020 00:02

Pure speculation. It's been really odd that he's not been around other kids. Or anyone really apart from me! He's 18 months old and delighted that me and my boobs are at home with him 24/7. Must say, it was pretty sad today when we went for a walk and him and another toddler clocked each other, and me and the other parent both grabbed our kids and hurried them along. So, pure speculation, what's your guess? Nursery? Soft play? Etc. Bracing myself for a long slog of being my son's only interaction for a while!

OP posts:
Original poster
ShambalaHambala · 01/05/2020 00:17

Just realised the time. Probably not the most productive time of day to post on MN!

OP posts:
Original poster
ShambalaHambala · 01/05/2020 00:43

Bumping before bed...

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PumpkinP · 01/05/2020 00:47

Probably because this has been done loads and no one knows the answer, we don’t even know when schools will be back. Honestly I feel toddlers/babies are the ones who will be the least affected by this. I never went to baby groups and mine didn’t go nursery so I’m not overly concerned. I don’t think the parent hurrying their child did anything wrong, we are socially distancing. I do the same if kids come too close to mine.

taraRoo · 01/05/2020 07:41

Yeah I want to know what's happening re young kids. Mine are out of nursery. There is no way you can socially distance under 5's so how on earth can they return to nursery or other activities? What am supposed to do when I go back to work? No one is saying anything re young kids.

AnPo · 01/05/2020 08:09

It is sad OP. My two year old is fine but my almost four year old is struggling. The thought of her not having anything to do/no where to go all summer is a thought I try to avoid! We live rurally so she literally hasn't seen another child in 8 weeks and I can't help but wonder the impact of this if nursery doesn't reopen until September.

I had to drop her dad to work last week and it was her first time in the car which she has never ever complained about before lockdown, but she spent the whole way there and back crying that she "wanted to go home". The poor thing was completely anxious.

People keep saying "oh children are resilient" etc. but some of them are less so than others. It took ages for her to settle into nursery and this is definitely going to set her back to square one. Praying for restrictions to lift soon!

Original poster
ShambalaHambala · 01/05/2020 08:16

@pumpkinp never said they did anything wrong. I hurried mine along too. Also I'm not worried that my son is suffering. I'm wondering for my own sanity 😅

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Original poster
ShambalaHambala · 01/05/2020 08:21

@anpo I was talking to a friend who is a researcher in child development last week. She thinks the effects this will have on children is being played down. She was explaining that even kids as young as my son (18 months) could be affected by a long period of social distancing. She was saying it don't damage him but could cause a change in the way he interacts with others. She said something about personality being mostly developed around the age of 5. Can't really remember the ins and outs but was interesting.

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Original poster
ShambalaHambala · 01/05/2020 08:23

*won't not don't

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Umnoway · 01/05/2020 08:24

My 18 mo isn’t bothered at all because he obviously has no idea what’s going on. I do miss a couple of our regular groups but also wouldn’t risk going for the foreseeable.

Rainbowshine · 01/05/2020 08:26

Sorry to be a doomsayer but Italian schools aren’t opening until September and then on a rotating basis so half the class in the morning and the others go in the afternoon. Also with social distancing. And they started lockdown before the UK.

edgeware · 01/05/2020 08:27

I want to know when playgrounds will be open again...

LisaSimpsonsbff · 01/05/2020 08:28

I also wonder if the effects on little ones - if it goes on a long time, I think the few weeks it's been so far is less of a concern - are being understated. My nearly two year old was just getting to the point of being interested in and interacting with other children in a meaningful way - surely that's quite a crucial stage? I'm also quite worried about what going back to childcare will be like after so long of just him and us all day every day, though I suspect that will at least be a temporary difficult transition.

Original poster
ShambalaHambala · 01/05/2020 08:30

@lisasimpsonbff I agree. It won't harm kids but will change personality/the way they develop if this goes on for a year +. People seem to have this weird idea that because kids won't remember then it doesn't matter.

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Sux2buthen · 01/05/2020 08:36

Kids being affected and parents feeling bad for them missing out are not allowed here don't you know.
I don't bother posting about what's bothering me because it would be met with
My elderly relative...
People are dying...
I can't get shopping...
Kids are fine...
And so on.

Very dismissive of kids. However, if someone stole my car I wouldn't expect to be told 'don't be upset, there's people that don't have cars'

It's bollocks.
This is hard for kids. Some of them. They are missing out and their works has changed.
I also feel bad for parents of kids that are sad for them.

SqidgeBum · 01/05/2020 08:38

I have a 17 month old who had difficulties interacting with people up to about 9 months (cried if anyone bar me or DH held her, including her grandparents, cried if another kid touched her, cried if I left the room). I am quite concerned at how not interacting with anyone bar us for months and months will effect her. I am scared that after all the progress she made in nursery and through playgroups, we will be right back to square one.

I am also concerned about childcare. I am a teacher and they are muttering about schools going back, but not a work has been said about nurseries opening. We have no family support around. DH is in utilities (gas) so if I go back the likelihood is he will go back. Not to mention the shock to my DD of nursery after seeing mum and dad every day for months. I get your worries OP.

Myfriendanxiety · 01/05/2020 08:40

@AnPo my 3.5 year old is the same. He had only just settled at preschool and now he isn’t getting any interaction with children his own age. He has a 1 year old sister but she isn’t old enough to play with him yet.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 01/05/2020 08:41

Honestly I feel toddlers/babies are the ones who will be the least affected by this disagree- mainly re: toddlers. My older niece and nephew are able to comprehend the situation and understand why they can’t see their friends or family. Kids 2-4 yrs old don’t understand, my LO had an epic meltdown when she couldn’t go in the playground on a walk round the park. I felt horrible telling her no and she got so upset. We also can’t go chat outside my families house because she will get upset why she can’t go in. The disruption to their routine is really sad to see and has started to
show in behaviour. I hope we can mix again soon

Myfriendanxiety · 01/05/2020 08:42

@SqidgeBum I am also a teacher and my childminder has already said she is unlikely to take my children back when schools reopen as she has a shielded family member. I can sort new childcare now as everywhere is closed, and when the time comes I don’t think it’s fair on either of my children (13 months and 3.5 years) to be sent somewhere new without a proper transition period.

mycatsmellsbad · 01/05/2020 08:42

Our nursery has just said they are planning on opening 1 June and asking people to confirm the hours they want. They appear very confident so I’m hoping they know something we don’t.

Original poster
ShambalaHambala · 01/05/2020 08:44

@sux2buthen I'm a little apprehensive to post about my concerns too. I've noticed a change in my toddler already. He's not unhappy, just more obsessed with screens as am trying to work from home, more tantrums especially when we are out and about and he tries to run up to other children, obsessed with breastfeeding once again (partially my fault but it's easier than dealing with 10 mini melt downs a day). I don't see how anyone can't see the effect on development that teaching a child not to approach other people for potentially a year + will have on them. Again, they won't necessarily be unhappy but it will have some sort of effect. I suspect however that as a lone parent, key worker, first time mum, trying to work from home with toddler running around, not surrounded by family etc, this will be tougher on me than him 😅

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BreadmanAndCake · 01/05/2020 08:47

My toddler was two in March and I feel the same as you. When we've passed other families with young children whilst out walking, he's so desperate to interact and it's sad to have to tell him no, especially when he has no concept of the current situation. Surely this will have a knock on effect at some level?

Original poster
ShambalaHambala · 01/05/2020 08:48

@breadmanandcake of course it will.
You'll be berated for having that concern on mn though.

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Settlersofcatan · 01/05/2020 08:50

I am really worried about the lack of any information about pre school childcare. A anyone is talking about is schools. Private nurseries could open in July or August but I have a horrible feeling that they will just get lumped in with schools for no particular reason and pushed to September

LisaSimpsonsbff · 01/05/2020 08:56

I'm also a bit worried about schools opening before nurseries for selfish reasons - DH is a teacher and me working from home has been just about ok because we take shifts, if he's back at work but I have DS all day I think it might shift the situation from tolerable to intolerable as far as my employer's concerned.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 01/05/2020 08:59

I do think it's emotionally harder with older children who more actively miss their friends and family, but I just don't think that the impact on toddlers is zero, as lots of people claim.

We can't leave our house for a walk without seeing a playpark - it's pretty much opposite our house - so we had to go through a week or two of tantrums about not being able to go in but now he just says 'park closed' when he sees it. But the other day I was by his door as he was drifting off to sleep and he was just saying 'park closed, park closed, park closed' sadly to himself Sad

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