to ask when my toddler will be able to interact with other kids again?

[ShambalaHambala]

Pure speculation. It's been really odd that he's not been around other kids. Or anyone really apart from me! He's 18 months old and delighted that me and my boobs are at home with him 24/7. Must say, it was pretty sad today when we went for a walk and him and another toddler clocked each other, and me and the other parent both grabbed our kids and hurried them along. So, pure speculation, what's your guess? Nursery? Soft play? Etc. Bracing myself for a long slog of being my son's only interaction for a while!

My own kids are older but I really am concerned about very young children and toddlers who are at key developmental stages.

Also, has there been much discussion about the development of a very young child’s immune system? I was watching the video of those two doctors in California and they made some really interesting points about how important it is to share and spread bacteria in order to build a healthy immune system. I would imagine nursery years are really key for developing this.

I feel the same @LisaSimpsonsbff . I was at home for mat leave last year and I got out every day to playgroups, to meet friends, to do the food shop etc. We have no family around, and DH works 12 hour shifts, so my DD would have seen nobody except me for weeks if I hadn't got her out and about. I felt it was important for her to be used to groups of people, see different places, be exposed to different locations or animals, see other kids interacting, even to be exposed to different germs to build up her immune system. I think most SAHMs would still get their kids out and about in some form. Of course, 6 weeks of lockdown isnt going to undo that. But staying like this for a long period of time, IMO, is a problem.

I’m a former teacher with an MA in a subject allied to child development and psychology. I’ve found the attitude to children and lockdown on here oddly dismissive - lots of ‘kids are resilient/need to develop resilience’ and ‘be grateful they’re alive’. I bet all those posters trumpeting ‘Well mine never went to nursery at that age’ weren’t parenting in a time when every other setting where children can play and interact - libraries, playgrounds, swimming pools, soft plays, farms, zoos, cafes - was also closed. The current situation is wholly unnatural in terms of child development, and if it continues longer term I can see this becoming an issue for schools and early years settings in the future.

DD is 2. I’m grateful that she isn’t missing any formal education, and she probably won’t ‘remember’ this time in the adult sense of remembering but given that the early years are formative in the way the brain develops and in laying down social and communication skills I’d say that the effect of extended lockdown/social distancing could be quite pronounced. DD is old enough to know something’s wrong but not old enough to understand why, which makes explaining what’s going on quite tricky - she wants to know why everything’s closed, why all our local benches are taped up, why people are wearing masks, why she can’t see her grandparents. I’m not especially scared of the virus, so definitely not passing fears on to her, but it’s hard to know how much to attempt to explain and how much to fob her off with ‘everything is on holiday’.

Not especially worried about friendships - although it’s sad that she can’t see her nursery and NCT friends, and she’s clearly desperate to interact with the children we see in the park. It’s more the simple everyday interactions - saying hi to to the lady in the library, learning how to behave in a cafe, going on the bus/train etc - that I think will have more of an impact. Children of this age learn about the world through human interaction and everyday experience and our preschoolers are getting very little of those at the moment. I think this needs to be acknowledged a bit more, as I’m beginning to feel that our children and their futures are at risk of becoming collateral damage in this crisis.

I took 12 months mat leave then 2 months unpaid/annual leave. I'd only been back at work a few weeks 🤦🏽‍♀️

@tempsperdu you just summed up my concerns much better than I could have. Thank you.

@TempsPerdu you couldn't have said it better! Thank you

DD is 4 and due to start reception in September. I’m worried that she’s missing out on all the preparation nursery were doing to help her get ready for school, and I don’t know how to help her prepare when DH and I are both trying to hold down FT jobs from home.

My DS is nearly 2 and I didn’t think he would be overly affected by lockdown but he clearly knows that things are different. He’s not been happy in himself for about a month now, he wasn’t having his dummy much during the day but now wants it all the time. He doesn’t want to do anything except watch TV. He just seems generally miserable! Nursery send videos of their song time and he wants to watch them over and over, he’s clearly missing going there. I’m so worried about the effects it’s all going to have on him.

My 3.5 year old has struggled more than my 8 year old. 8 year old stays in contact with friends but the 3 year old can't webchat without then asking to go see the person and missing them more.

I’m beginning to feel that our children and their futures are at risk of becoming collateral damage in this crisis.

Yes! Weeks of this is doable but months and months of keeping children in these conditions is surely going to have an impact. Human contact and interaction with the wider world isn’t just some luxury hobby for children.

I’ve also found it odd that there has been so little mention of nurseries/early years through any of this. And even when it comes up on here a lot of people are dismissive of why it’s important. “Well not everyone needs childcare in place to go back to work.” Ok cool, so those of us who do will just lose our jobs? Lovely.

It's a big problem.. My 4 year old is starting reception in September, I feel he will be completely unprepared due to missing his 3 days at nursery for so long, and will probably suffer from separation anxiety when he does go. He took a long time to settle at nursery but grew to absolutely love it. He asks me every day when he will see his friends again and i feel so sad that he may not get to say goodbye even. He has nobody to play with his own age as his sister is 9 years older. Out of the two of them he is definitely suffering the most.

My youngest is 4 and in his final year at nursery. On the face of it, the 8 year old is having a tougher time - he’s miserable, missing his friends and sport, desperate to be back at school. But I’m way less concerned about the impact on him that on his brother. Elder one is settled into school, getting contact with teachers and friends, doing schoolwork regularly.

Nursery are doing a lot for the kids and we’re trying but 4yo is much less motivated, we are juggling work and getting the year 3 curriculum into his brother; so he’s missing learning as well as the amazing activities and social contact he used to have - sport, swimming, forest school, friends. I’m so grateful I have two so at least he’s getting some social contact if not with peers.

I definitely think that children and young people are being ‘othered’ in the whole Coronavirus narrative. Lots of talk of them being germ-ridden ‘super spreaders’ with the potential to kill teachers and grandparents - the science of this may or may not turn out to be correct (there’s increasing evidence pointing in the opposite direction) but in any case the media reporting on this isn’t helpful. And conversely there’s been very little discussion of how we might mitigate this situation for our children, and what the medium term future might look like for them.

Personally I’m encountering more and more people who are visibly frightened of DD when we’re out on our walks with her - people backing into hedges and walking into roads rather than passing us on the pavement, which isn’t the case when it’s just me or DP. I’ve been asked several times now why DD is out at all when we’ve been out for our daily walk, even though we’ve been sticking to all the ‘rules’. Not so much ‘children should be seen and not heard’ as ‘children shouldn’t be seen at all’!

I feel the same about my 16 month old. As this goes on I'm increasingly worried about resettling her into nursery. I really miss my family and friends seeing her. I miss our routine of playdates, playgroups and the park.

DP and I are trying to work from home and look after DD (both having had pay cuts so not exactly feeling motivated) and it's a monotonous slog. We're essentially all fine but it's just shit isn't it?

Yes re the ‘germ-ridden super-spreaders’ thing too. I absolutely understand the need for governments to be very cautious, but when there’s increasing research suggesting children don’t spread it significantly, it would be pretty brutal to put them in a longer-term situation which IS damaging for them based on nothing better than “everyone knows kids are germy and disgusting.”

Both of my DCs started nursery at 3.5y, I hardly ever took them to baby groups, as I found them too overwhelming- and both DCs turned out just fine. Everyone is in the same boat at present and small children will be fine in the ling run.

I am so glad I've found this thread- it's starting to get really difficult with our toddler DC, lots of anger and confusion at the moment- not getting the interaction with peers, other adults, family- l am definitely noticing a difference in behaviour but to even mention this on MN at the moment you are most likely to be met by the "right ok so you WANT me/elderly family member to just DIE then don't you" absolutely agree with
Kids being affected and parents feeling bad for them missing out are not allowed here don't you know.

@ChangeMeAlready
Did you also not take them to libraries, cafes, shops, playground, zoos or on public transport in that time? Did they not mix with wider family or friends at all? As that is the current situation we’re facing - it’s about general development and socialisation, not just about wanting to get kids back into nurseries. And ‘fine’ is a very loose description. DD is massively privileged and most likely will be ‘fine’ in the long term; sadly lots of her peers won’t if this goes on long term.

@ChangeMeAlready also you had two children so they were able to play/interact presumably. At this point only children have not seen another child in nearly 6 weeks so it is very different to the situation you describe!

I worry for my toddler and others in their situation they have been in foster with us for a year and when they arrived they would freeze at the sight of another child. They had just started play with others and actually invite others to play with them when this happened.

Thought this was interesting: Coronavirus crisis: children suffer most from being locked down

"Children and adolescents have not been seen as persons with equal rights in previous decision-making processes, but rather as potential virus carriers," said the German Academy for Child and Youth Medicine.

My 5 yr old isnt bothered but she has a sister so it's fine. September?