Are these autistic traits?

[Ctrigg]

I have not had an autism diagnosis but I have been told by doctors that I have autistic traits. I’m just wondering for those of you who make daily to do lists, how much detail do you go into? My boyfriend saw mine today and said it was abnormal as I wrote down ‘eat a plum’ in the morning and then wrote down how many pages of my book I had to read today. I know that’s it’s very detailed but I like to visualise my day ahead and I like to write everything down so I have a clear picture of what the day will be. Do other women with autism or autistic traits also do this? Or indeed women without who are maybe just very meticulous?

That is very meticulous. How would you feel if you couldn't write your list one day? Do you ever skip writing a list?

I’d feel stressed and chaotic and like my day was being wasted

I live by lists. Struggle to function without one but I CAN function without one if I have too, so yeah what @Lougle said, how would you feel if you couldn't write a list? I too go into some detail when writing them, I remember when I was going on holiday and the day before I was at work and I was writing a list of things I needed to do the following day and I was very particular, wrote exact times of things I needed to do things "wake up by 5am", "shower by 5.30am" "leave house by 6.30am" etc. My work friends all laughed at me. But some people just need to be organised🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm Aspergers diagnosed and I don't do this.
I have terrible executive function skills and if I wrote a list I would forget to follow what was on it.

Many people have autistic traits. Don't worry about it if you do. Having traits doesn't mean you have autism and if you did would you need support to function? You sound as though you function quite well in life; have a boyfriend, communicate well... does it matter if you make lists?

If you had a diagnosis would it make a difference to you or who you are?

i honestly believe that everyone has some traits especially of sensory needs (chewing pens, tapping feet) and need for routine (lists, timetables, familiarity), it provides security.

Please don't worry.

Ok, another question: what would you do if you got to your target number of pages in your book, but you'd reached a really gripping bit - would you keep reading, or would you stop because you only planned to read so many pages?

I love lists as it helps prioritize tasks and lessens the likelihood of me forgetting a task.

I wouldn't write "eat a plum" or "read x pages" though. "Snack" might be on my list if I was underweight and likely to forget eating but I wouldn't know what I fancied later so wouldn't specify. As for the reading, I wouldn't know if I'd want to read another chapter or something more urgent cropped up so would never specify the number of pages.

I do but it could also be OCD

What you say is true @Lifejacket, but in ASD those traits are an obstruction to daily life.

How do you feel if you have to deviate from what’s in the list? It’s rather prescriptive so I’m wondering how you feel if it doesn’t go to plan.

What other 'traits' do you have?
Detailed list making isn't the sign of someone being on the spectrum.
How are you with social interaction? Do you have any sensory issues?

No I don’t really care if I am diagnosed or not, just curious about how common it is to feel like you need your day mapped out for a sense of peace. I’d love to be a ‘roll with it’ person but I’m incapable.

I think those are traits that could be attributed to autism if there was also some social impairment, but on its own I don't think that kind of meticulousness is outside of the bounds of normal.

Possibly a symptom of OCD?

Exactly @Lougle
My sensory issues can be very obvious, depending on how stressed I am.
Too many sounds and I'll put my hands over my ears and my brain makes me slur my words, if I feel anxious the light becomes too bright and I cannot see properly so I need sunglasses even inside.
If I'm very stressed I get physical stims where I lift my hands up and circle my fingers and I sway from side to side.
It's very obvious, whereas clicking a pen is socially acceptable and can be stopped whenever the person wants to.

The issue isn't so much about lists, but how you respond to not being able to fulfill the demands of your list.

For example, if I put 'Jacob's Cream Crackers' on a shopping list, but there are none, I can either get a different brand of cracker, a different type of savoury biscuit, or shrug my shoulders and think 'next time...'. If not being able to get what is on the list causes distress, then it's a problem. (Unless the item is absolutely essential, in which case distress is appropriate, but that's rare).

DH, probably autistic is like you. He lives by lists and systems that are incredibly detailed, I still laugh that he had conceive baby on a list of tasks and ticked it off.

I, also probably autistic (according to specialist psychologist and I concur) am not like this at all, in fact I’m quite chaotic and never can manage to follow systems, however both DH and I share that we struggle a lot if the day doesn’t go to either his written or my envisioned plan.

Autism covers many difficulties in social-communication skills and hence people with autism are often very different from each other.

It could be but it sounds more like OCD to me.

I wouldn't call writing lists every day and austistic trait. However, I would say that needing to know what's planned each day, in details and struggling if you don't know or it changes definitely are.

The need for a plan and a routine is common to people with ASD. How they manage that need varies greatly. The fact that you would struggle if you couldn't write the list points more to ASD than being NT with a habit of writing lists.

I have autism, I am not organised or a list person! I occasionally text myself must do things and still forget.

You seem to be making a study of “what other people do”.

But let me ask you: what happens if you can’t follow the to follow list due to circumstances?

How wearisome is it that people on a forum do t give you the clear direct answer you ask for? Most people don’t mind others asking for more info or not answering directly.

However... I write lists, but with a different approach than you appear to. I write things I need to remember to do, sometimes ideas for nice things to do with DD. I don’t do it to have a proper schedule of how my day is going to be.

I don’t think my way is worse than yours, or that it’s better than yours: just different.

Agree with @Lougle. I have adhd, I'm not even vaguely on the autistic spectrum, but I do have some coping habits and personality traits that appear similar to some people's autistic traits.

Eg I am physically extremely well organised in every aspect of my life, because a) it's a useful outlet for the hyperactivity b) it provides some stability for the 9 million things often going through my head simultaneously and c) it's also my natural personality. It isn't something that distresses me or dictates my life though, I have no problem impulsively dropping my plans for a more enthralling distraction.

Or food. My autistic colleague and I regularly discuss our shared opinions on certain foods, textures, combinations. But our reactions are very different because for me it's just a personality trait. Eg I remember regularly hiding still full plates of offending food at primary school so I didn't have to eat it. He remembers hating lunchtimes, regularly hiding, running off, meltdowns and never wanting to eat anywhere but at home.

I’m autistic and I don’t follow lists, I say don’t follow because I do enjoy writing them but I forget to look at them. I’m not spontaneous though, when things don’t go to plan it’s very stressful. I spent the first few weeks of lockdown in bed because I couldn’t cope with the change.

It's one very small thing that some autistics tend towards. It alone wouldn't come close to a diagnosis. You wouldn't even be given an assessment. There are checklists you can do online to see if you "qualify" many neurotypicals have behaviours that would be associated with autism but unless you display many then it's not actually autism.
I'm autistic, I only do detailed list for big events, like Christmas. But I'm also lazy 🤣

This sounds off the wall to me but each to their own!