To ask for your hill you will die on? LIGHTHEARTED

[SheliaHammondDiet]

As per the meme ‘I will die on this hill’ what are your lighthearted hills you’re willing to die on?

Mine:

Phoebe Buffay is the worst friends character. She is not kooky, she’s mean, selfish and always looking for ways to put the other friends down. Everyone is too busy hating Ross to realise Phoebe is a cock. I will die on this hill.

Spag bol has to be made with full fat mince

Sorry, I have two hills

I am getting married today, pandemic or no pandemic.

Congrats squishee! Have a great day

New hill: Chocolate oranges are revolting, and a waste of a good orange.

Congratulations, Squishee!

It’s mine and DH’s first wedding anniversary today, too. Hope you’re as happy as we are (very).

Thank you 🤗

Are you somewhere that’ll actually let you get married, @squishee?

His exciting! Have a great day.

Congratulations @squishee

Congratulations, @squishee! Hope your wedding breakfast features margarine and gravy, the ceremony has a reading from the David Walliams era, and the cake is a tower of macaroOns with a chocolate orange drizzle!

@squishee CONGRATULATIONS have a wonderful day

@safariboot I hate the "reboot" bollocks too. Not only boring and disappointing for viewers but killing writing of original scripts too

@Graphista, I hear you sister. From when my children were very little they always knew that Mum and Dad always followed through, and they always meant what they said & said what they meant. That way everyone knew where they stood and we all knew the boundaries. It sounds simple but actually it really is that easy. You need to be fair, firm and consistent that's all. My teenagers are nearly adults now but looking back we have had hardly any angst or raging arguments or unacceptable behaviour from them. I can't even remember the last time I ever had to even raise my voice to them to be honest. I have friends like your sister and their relationships with their teenagers are so stressful all the time because back when they were little they weren't raised with consistent boundaries.

"peaceanddove can I please join you on all of your hills? (Except 'uni', which I don't care about one way or the other, and the parenting one, which sounds reasonable to me but not being a parent I don't feel like I get a say.)"

Of course you may @psychomath, but I'm afraid you will have to sign an agreement stating you will never use the word 'uni' while on my hill.

Dd is 19 now and living in her own place, working in next town and loving her independence.

Her friends are sort of confused she's able to?

That she can do all her housework herself including cooking decent meals from scratch and plan her grocery shopping accordingly, can manage her budget etc (which is a damn sight more generous than mine was at her age! Even accounting for inflation)

They're still living at home, still to my mind acting like 15/16 year olds expecting their parents to organise them including things like making them packed lunches, doing their laundry including ironing and putting away and getting them up in the morning for college/work etc

One of their mums said something to me a while back about being fed up her dd wasn't making much effort to get a job (not at college or similar just loafing about and not helping much at home either) but she is also still being very generous with "pocket money" such that her daughter is (normally) out every thu, fri and sat night clubbing, getting new outfits for nights out, taxis there and back etc

I said to her cut her "pocket money" right down if not out altogether - if she wants money for clubbing etc she'll get off her arse and earn it.

But the mum couldn't bring herself to do it - you'd think I'd told her to starve the almost 20 year old (my dd one of youngest in that school year) into submission!

You get what your actions naturally lead to in my opinion. This girl has been mollycoddled from a young age and frankly it's not doing the dd any favours either in my opinion.

All her mates have at least part time jobs, the group have already been on at least 2 holidays she couldn't join in with because she couldn't afford it and her mum did draw the line at giving her hundreds for that! It's sad

Also adults look stupid on scooters or skateboards!

@Graphista Again, I really echo everything you say. Our teens have enjoyed a very affluent, privileged childhood in many ways as DH earns the standard six figure salary But since they were 13 they both always had a little weekend job. We always provided them with quality basics and all their uniform and decent toiletries, but if they wanted to spend silly money on trainers or a Huda Beauty palette, then they paid for those things themselves. We are always generous to them at birthdays and Christmas, but I certainly don't subsidise their social lives on a regular basis or buy them outfits. I do occasionally treat them and they are always pleased and grateful, never a hint of entitlement.

If you constantly indulge children with whatever takes their fancy, you take away any possible thrill of anticipation and create an ingrained culture of entitlement. I get so sad watching parents trying to buy their child's favour and respect with constant treats, but it seems to have the opposite effect. Their children seem to often despise them

Your DD sounds very sensible and a credit to your sensible parenting. My DD is off to university soon and is perfectly capable of cooking, food shopping, laundry and cleaning even though we have a cleaner twice a week. Treating your older teenagers like they're still at primary school does them no favours at all and actually handicaps/weakens them.

My friend's DD is nearly twenty and has never yet booked her own dentist, doctor appointments and can't possibly be expected to catch a connecting train when returning from university, so friend has to drive 60 miles to collect her from the station. Not surprisingly her daughter suffers mild anxiety because she had never learned to rely on herself or learned how to be resourceful. The slightest wobble and her Mum leaps into action every single time. It's killing with kindness.

Laurence Fox is a Tory lost boy with ‘needing to impress daddy’ syndrome.

Thank you. I am a newlywed now! The wedding outfits included mandatory face masks for entering the town hall (not UK). It was a great day.

I bet you’ve got great Covid-19 wedding photos now. Congratulations. 😁

Meat and animal product eaters calling themselves animal lovers. They may be pet lovers, but they are definitely not animal lovers. I'm up on my hill...

Mine is that the Beatles are totally over rated.

I always wanted to use this image though... finally a chance!

Margarine is a gazillion times more edible and spreadable than butter.

pink, I forgot to say happy anniversary! Hope you had a great day. 05/05 is a great date.
Burrito we are cutting the "wedding cake" today and it's a very boozy Christmas pudding saved from two years ago.
Ooh I've found myself another hill. Christmas pudding is fine for any occasion, any time of year.

My teenagers are nearly adults now but looking back we have had hardly any angst or raging arguments or unacceptable behaviour from them. I can't even remember the last time I ever had to even raise my voice to them to be honest.

I don't want to spoil a lovely thread, but really I want to tell you both to stuff your smug generalisations where the sun doesn't shine.

I d and have always done all the things you say. I am a teacher and can write the book on firm consistent and follow through, my kids have always done stuff roudn the house and in lockdown are cooking regularly etc etc etc etc et bloody cetera

Melt downs, teen agst and drama are not always due to parenting. Having just had the most damn awful week with my youngest, despite all the consistent firm follow through yadder yadder, I am sorry, but stop generalising. I have 3 kids, if i had stopped after 2 I might have written your post. This site is supposed to support parents, not piss on them

I don't want to spoil a lovely thread, but really I want to tell you both to stuff your smug generalisations where the sun doesn't shine

Hear Hear!

"I don't want to spoil a lovely thread, but really I want to tell you both to stuff your smug generalisations where the sun doesn't shine."

Standing ovation for @steppemum. I've rarely read such a load of blinkered, self-congratulatory tosh. @peaceanddove sounds like Margo Leadbetter, but less likeable. I wonder if her 'friend' knows how little she thinks of her.