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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Executor of will

53 replies

CampingCake · 30/04/2020 10:41

Would you be an executor of will for a neighbour?

What does it involve?

Is there anything tricky to beware of?

I have known my neighbour for about 5 years but we don't know them that well IYSWIM. They are really nice.

They asked me a couple of weeks ago and I need to let them know. I feel a bit stressed about the legal aspect of it.

TIA

YABU = Don't do it
YANBU = Do it

OP posts:

NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite · 30/04/2020 10:45

I wouldn't be an executor for anyone I did't know well. I would only do it (and have done) for close family.

NoMorePoliticsPlease · 30/04/2020 10:45

You can get a book about it but it is quite straightforward if there is a solicitor . Basically you a organise the finances, pay off bills, funeral expenses close accounts, pay capital gains (out of a designated account) It is quite an honour really, it shows they trust you to do it right.

TooTrueToBeGood · 30/04/2020 10:46

For a neighbour? No way. It's a lot of work and a big responsibility.

MusicianTom · 30/04/2020 10:47

I wouldn't consider it without knowing exactly what was in the will. You could find yourself having to mediate in the middle of a family feud because they didn't leave the house to Cousin Mildred, and Uncle Albert nicked the jewellery after the funeral. No ta.

TeenPlusTwenties · 30/04/2020 10:48

I'd worry.

If they aren't asking family to do it then there must be a reason. if they are leaving money to family you could be caught in the middle of a load of arguments.

If they are leaving it all to charity then charities argue too.

I'd be tempted to suggest they ask their solicitor to do it, even if that will leave less in the overall estate after costs.

Rainbowqueeen · 30/04/2020 10:48

Nope. The executor is personally liable for any failure to deal with the estate correctly. I wouldn’t do it for someone I didn’t know well.
I’d politely suggest they use a lawyer if they don’t have any family who are able to take on the role

Original poster

CampingCake · 30/04/2020 10:50

Their closest relatives live abroad and would look after the dc (8&10yrs) but can't be executors hence they asked us.

OP posts:

CMOTDibbler · 30/04/2020 10:51

I'm currently doing the execution of wills for both my parents. Its not hard, but it is a lot of work and would be much harder for someone I didn't know.
If they don't want a beneficiary to do it, they can pay a solicitor to do it - the Co Op do a fixed fee service which is much cheaper than normal

Original poster

CampingCake · 30/04/2020 10:53

If they don't want a beneficiary to do it, they can pay a solicitor to do it

Can i just clarify are there other options e.g. solicitors? I am very conscientious and tend to feel duty bound. But this request worries me.

OP posts:

ErrolTheDragon · 30/04/2020 10:53

No way.
DH has been the executor for an uncle and both his parents, the former was a lot of work and responsibility.

If it's a straightforward will and the estate is below the inheritance tax threshold and there's no house to sell ... then a solicitor shouldn't charge too much. If any of those things aren't true then it's too much work for a neighbour unless I suppose they had prior experience and loads of time.

MaggieFS · 30/04/2020 11:03

No. It's a pain in the bum and I think you have to really love someone to do it. DF was the most organised person on the planet, but it was still incredibly time consuming contacting all the banks etc, getting everything officially wound up and so on, even though his estate was simple with everything going to DM.

cstaff · 30/04/2020 11:21

I'd do it for my parents or a sibling but a neighbour - not a chance in hell. It's not like you are really good friends. It's a big responsibility and could get very messy. At least if you know the parties involved you would stand some chance.

ErrolTheDragon · 30/04/2020 11:37

I am very conscientious

So, you should tell the neighbour that as you've no experience you're not confident you can do a good job and therefore must decline.

Giggorata · 30/04/2020 11:45

No. It's shedloads of work over a long period and the executor is liable.

I have retained my late sister's solicitors to be joint executors with me, however. They do all the specialist and admin work, and I have an overview and approve things. Much more peace of mind.

peperethecat · 30/04/2020 11:48

If you're not a beneficiary of the will then it seems unreasonable to expect you to give up your time to be the executor of it. In their situation I would provide for the solicitor to be the executor, and to be paid out of the estate.

minettechatouette · 30/04/2020 11:53

Yes, I also wouldn't do this for someone I didn't know very well. It will be a lot of work and as a PP says you will be personally liable for any mistakes. As a PP has said, a solicitor is probably their best option. I am not aware of any reason why someone abroad can't be an executor except that it would be logistically tricky.

LaurieSchafferIsAllBitterNow · 30/04/2020 11:56

Executor for a non family member is a big ask imo...are you sure it wasn't a witness they meant?

But if they have solicitors involved then they do it ...I am sure when we did ours they put themselves down as ds1 was a baby....but we really must change that now.

Ragwort · 30/04/2020 11:57

No, particularly not if there are young children involved. Have they appointed guardians for the children? Could the guardians be executors as well?

It really is a lot of work, my DH has been executor a few times for relatives, there is a huge amount to do.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 30/04/2020 11:58

No not a chance. Id only do it if I was part of the Will. There's no way i d be doing all that running around for no reward.

minettechatouette · 30/04/2020 11:58

Also, there is a really long limitation period for probate matters - 12 years - usually starting from the grant of letters of administration, but in case of minor children, starting from when each of them reach 18. That's a really long time to have it hanging over you.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 30/04/2020 11:59

Why can't the people who she's leaving her money to do it all.

CeibaTree · 30/04/2020 12:08

I guess if you were going to benefit in some way from the will it would be worthwhile - but this is a really big ask of them. I wonder if they know how much time and effort is actually involved? I would do (and have done) it for family and I probably would if a very close friend asked, but not for a random neighbour who you barely know.

minettechatouette · 30/04/2020 12:09

Presumably she is leaving her money to her kids.

lockdownbirthdayhelp · 30/04/2020 12:11

No, absolutely not. It can be a lot of work.
They can pay a solicitor.

Badoukas · 30/04/2020 12:20

Definitely no. Maybe they don't realise that it's a big ask.

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