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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Executor of will

53 replies

CampingCake · 30/04/2020 10:41

Would you be an executor of will for a neighbour?

What does it involve?

Is there anything tricky to beware of?

I have known my neighbour for about 5 years but we don't know them that well IYSWIM. They are really nice.

They asked me a couple of weeks ago and I need to let them know. I feel a bit stressed about the legal aspect of it.

TIA

YABU = Don't do it
YANBU = Do it

OP posts:
notchickenagain · 30/04/2020 12:24

No. I had power of attorney for my cousin and I spent the last few months getting his mountains of paperwork and finances in order. Thankfully I did as he sadly died last month and his bil is executor. It is still a major task for him (and me) to get everything lined up. How do you know you have everything? With us anything on line is still in the ether with no current access. Slowly everything is coming to light, but with a deadline it's very stressful.

Fairyliz · 30/04/2020 12:27

God no my mum died three years ago and her will was relatively straightforward but I still haven’t sorted it all out. (Yes I’m looking at you Halifax building society, you can’t speak to the account holder she is dead)

RandomWordsandaNumber5 · 30/04/2020 12:27

It’s a serious legal obligation.
Before agreeing, I’d do some research so you fully understand what you’d be taking on.

CandleNoBra · 30/04/2020 12:31

Just been an executor for family. Straightforward will too. Despite that is was a bloody nightmare - dealing with sale of house and annoying buyers demands, legal issues surrounding history of house, clearing belongings, family wanting heirlooms, doing all the estate accounts, dealing with nagging beneficiaries and so much more stress.

No I certainly wouldn’t do it for anyone I didn’t have to. Strictly family and even then I’m not sure I would again if I wasn’t a beneficiary myself as it was bloody hard work and you can only claim expenses.

TexanBlueNeck · 30/04/2020 12:36

I've executed wills. Twice in simple cases which turned more complex* in the end. Close relatives. No fucking way would be my answer!

*Hidden debts in 1 case (only because I was vvv paranoid the first time idid it, got wind of them via a credit check fortunately before I started thinking about giving bank savings to the beneficiaries - the estate didn't have enough to cover debts so I might have been pursued?!
Second one was a inheritance tax nightmare.

Never ever again for me, I'm not a lawyer and despite being fairly organised, well intentioned the risk I took on & hours sink in was stupid, stressful,. I didn't benefit in either will but even if I had.... Not worth it!!!

Say no.

TexanBlueNeck · 30/04/2020 12:39

I don't think the neighbour understands what they're asking you to do. If they did,they would not ask.

redwoodmazza · 30/04/2020 12:41

My husband has been executor of several wills - 2 were for non-family.
One was an absolute nightmare - he was in between feuding siblings. Very stressful and only really manageable because he knew what he was doing from his previous experience.
If you've not done it before and it's not for a family member, I'd suggest you leave it to a professional.
It will cost your neighbour more but worth it to avoid your stress.

WhateverHappenedToMe · 30/04/2020 12:44

I've been an Executor three times, and each time it's become more difficult. I wouldn't do it for a neighbour.You may end up having to sell their house!

LakieLady · 30/04/2020 12:46

It depends on how complex the estate is, tbh. If it's just a few grand in the bank, it's no biggie, but if there's a house to be sold and so on it's a huge responsibility.

honeylulu · 30/04/2020 12:47

It's very onerous and time consuming. I wouldn't willingly do it unless I was also a beneficiary. My grandparents made me and my cousin(the 2 eldest grandchildren) executors. When they told us I was a bit wary as I wasn't local, worked full time and had a young child. They said something like "oh it's just signing a few forms".

Sure enough it was a lot more than that. Very complicated and took ages. Involved attending house clearance, selling house, spending ages leafing through every bit of paper in the house to trace all the assets. We did have a solicitor as well but all the practical stuff we had to do. My poor cousin got lumbered with the brunt just because she only lived down the road and worked part time. She was annoyed with me at times but there was nothing I could do!

A couple of other people have told me that they've made wills and named me as executor. I'm actually a solicitor but I dont do probate work. I think they think it's a way of getting the legal stuff done for free though to be fair I don't think they realise what's involved and that it would be hours and hours of my own time in order to save their beneficiaries a few grand. I have been quite blunt and said that if the time comes I will probably have to decline the role (you can do this even if the will names you) unless I have plenty of time on my hands.

ChikiTIKI · 30/04/2020 12:58

My parents were executors on my aunties will, still in the process of sorting everything (lockdown delays).

They didn't inherit anything themselves, and chose to use a solicitor. I agreed with them it was the best option because a lot of the responsibility is handed over in that way. There has still been lots to do like registering the death, notifying the bank etc but it's taken a lot of the stress away.

I am the executor of my parents will but probably won't use a solicitor when the time comes. My reasoning is that I am a beneficiary and everything will be split equally between me and my siblings so there's no way anyone could argue I didn't do it fairly.

Have they told you where to find all the necessary information to do the job? Age UK website has a list of everything that needs to be done after someone dies. If they make you the executor I suggest you show them the list and get them to check all the documents are available and in one place for you.

MyNameIsArthur · 30/04/2020 12:58

Believe me, don't do it. There is too much work involved and legal responsibility and liability. You will have to deal with the estate valuation, inheritance tax, probate, disposal of estate assets including property, maintenance of house until disposal as well as other administrative work, phone calls, emails, letters, getting copies of death certificates, searching for house deeds, liaising with banks and solicitors etc. There is a certain amount a solicitor can do but there is still a lot the executor(s) must do. I can understand you doing it for someone you know well and are close to but anyone else? I don't know why. Is a hell of a lot of work and stress

bigbluebus · 30/04/2020 13:11

I know someone who agreed to do it for a long time neighbour. When the old lady died, one of the adult children moved into the house and wouldn't clear the posessions. There was another adult child who lived away and the estate was to be split equally between them. Firstly the executor had to tell the 1st DC to leave the house, then he needed them to sort through personal posessions - which neither of them wanted to do. In the end he was left with an impossible situation and relinquished his executorship by appointing a Solicitor to deal with it.
My advice would be don't do it. They can appoint a solicitor to do it all. They are just trying to save money (at your expense).

newtb · 30/04/2020 13:11

Could be wrong, but somewhere in the back of my mind it's the executor who's responsible for paying the inheritance tax.
Just for that alone, I'd say no.

MaggieFS · 30/04/2020 13:28

@newtb The executor is not personally liable for the IHT, it is paid from the value of the estate, but they are responsible for calculating said value, and organising its payment, amongst a zillion other tasks. Plus I think there is some liability for executing incorrectly.

FizzyGreenWater · 30/04/2020 13:30

Good lord no.

I would say that you've read up on it and you're sure that they can't have understood the reality of it and it's really a job for a solicitor.

I would hestitate to do it for family. It's a huge job.

echt · 30/04/2020 13:37

I was executor of my late DH's will and carried out probate in two countries, and that was knowing his finances, being confident with IT, phoning and the language of probate. It was not difficult in any of its steps, but were were so many. I was glad to do it, and also appalled at what would be charged by a solicitor for doing simple tasks, i.e. phone call to UK.

I would not do it for a neighbour.

They need to get a solicitor, and one who takes a flat fee not percentage of the estate.

Cosyjimjamsforautumn · 30/04/2020 13:49

I've been an executor for family members twice and am POA/Executor for another 2 elderly relatives together with my brother (we are both the executors and beneficeries). It's a pain in the backside - and takes a minimum of 6 months admin to sort, longer if house clearance and sale involved. However as only small amounts of cash potentially involved in the cae of our 2 relatives (after care home fees have decimated their savings) there will be little left to inherit so we wouldnt want to pay solicitors fees from what might be left so will do it in these instances.
Not sure I'd want to get involved in another family's potential squabbles even if i knew the will maker very well. As you dont I'd decline.

Stompythedinosaur · 30/04/2020 13:51

I don't think I'd do this for a neighbour.

I think they need to have a solicitor execute the will.

Ragwort · 30/04/2020 14:09

Are you 100% sure they have actually asked you to be an Executor and not just witness their signatures? It seems a really odd thing to ask a neighbour to do.

I have recently agreed to be Executor for a very dear friend who has no close family, but I have known her over 50 years and she has made provision for all expenses to be covered .... I certainly wouldn’t do it for a neighbour or casual acquaintance Confused.

Knotaknitter · 30/04/2020 14:48

I've been through it three times now, there's no way I'd do it for a neighbour of five years. It's not difficult but there is potentially a lot of work involved. It's a huge favour they are asking for - let them get a solicitor to do it.

okiedokieme · 30/04/2020 14:50

They need to ask a solicitor or someone who specifically acts as a guardian/executor. It's not something you do for an aquaintance

WickedlyPetite · 30/04/2020 14:52

I'm going to assume your neighbour doesn't actually have a clue what they're asking, are you sure they didn't mean a witness?

Anyone who knew anything about being an executor of a will would not ask a neighbour to do it.

SpyApp · 30/04/2020 14:54

Like PPs have said - are you sure it's not a witness they want rather than an executor?

notchickenagain · 30/04/2020 15:01

Yes, I wondered if they meant witnesses. If I was a child of theirs overseas I don't think I'd be too happy about a relatively unknown neighbour being responsible for the estate of my parents.