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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect a seven-year-old not to tell me he hates the birthday present I bought for him?

37 replies

LyraBelacqua · 16/09/2007 20:07

DSs went to a birthday party today and as soon as we got in the door the birthday boy (7) pounced on us and demanded his present. Then when he looked into the gift bag DS1 was carrying and saw it was a book he told us we could take it home because he hated it. it was a fun book which I spent ages choosing yesterday and I thought he'd love it.
Am I expecting too much of a seven-year-old or should he have more manners by now not to be so rude? My DSs are 5 and 3 so my experience of seven-year-olds is limited.

OP posts:

notnowbernard · 16/09/2007 20:08

Do you know the boy well?

bubblagirl · 16/09/2007 20:09

this is very spoilt behaviour i'd say its common curtosy to say thank you even if really not to keen but maybe this little boy is used to getting what he wants

ronshar · 16/09/2007 20:10

That is bad manners from anybody regardless of age. I would have been tempted to take the book back home with me!
I have an 8year old daughter. If I heard her talking to anybody like that she would be in her bedroom for a long time!

pinkbubble · 16/09/2007 20:10

I would be mortified if any of my DDs behaved like that! Maybe he was just excited about the party

It was DDs birthday party today and for one of her presents she got a book- "cool" she said.

geekymummy · 16/09/2007 20:10

YANBU. Little git!

Mhamai · 16/09/2007 20:12

hmm, a tricky one but having a near 7 year old son myself I would like to think he would be mannerly and gracious. I think at that age some children mayb not be savvy and speak as they find. Not exusing it but he may not have even considered he was causing offence. Or maybe he's just a spoilt little feck?

Spidermama · 16/09/2007 20:12

There's a Shirley Hughes story in which the birthday boy, called Bernard, does just that.

I think it's disgracefully rude and my kids, who aren not angels by any stretch, would never behave like that.

roisin · 16/09/2007 20:12

That's shockingly rude, and the boy needs to be taught some manners.

pinkbubble · 16/09/2007 20:13

Out of interest, what book was it?

Maybe he hasnt been but up with a love of books!

NineUnlikelyTales · 16/09/2007 20:13

I would have taken it home as requested.

Tamum · 16/09/2007 20:15

That would have been the end of the party for my child if he had behaved like that, I can tell you. It's appalling behaviour.

tissy · 16/09/2007 20:16

presumably, the boy's mum didn't hear him?

a good reason for wrapping presents up "properly", so kids can' t sneak a look before the official opening, which is usually after the guests hadve gone!

Original poster

LyraBelacqua · 16/09/2007 20:18

It's a really fun book, full of the sort of gruesome things little boys like, like a big sticky realistic tongue on the cover. I thought he'd like it. His mum does read to him every night and he has lots of books, so it's not like books are a new thing to him. My DSs love getting new books.
It did make me feel like taking it home with me but I wasn't sure what to do. His mum didn't hear all this btw. She would have been mortified.

OP posts:

tissy · 16/09/2007 20:19

dd saw that book last week- she would have loved it! That was an expensive present!

Original poster

LyraBelacqua · 16/09/2007 20:20

Tissy, it was half price
I didn't want to get him just another action figure. Wish I hadn't bothered now.

OP posts:

MarinaLaPasionaria · 16/09/2007 20:20

Agree with the others, this is pretty bad from a seven year old.
I'd have hung on to the book and quietly told his mum why

tigermoth · 16/09/2007 20:24

The party boy was very rude. I'd expect my sons at that age to show more manners, however exited they are. When they are acting as 'hosts' in whatever capacity, they know we expect them to be kind to their guests. It may not always happen, but they know the score.

And by 7 years old, both my sons knew how to behave with guests, even if they didn't always do it. If I'd overheard them saying something like that, there would have been trouble!

PatsyCline · 16/09/2007 20:28

No, YANBU. My daughter is seven and her friends have never behaved rudely towards me. Even my toddler says thank you very much FGS.

I'd like to be generous and say that the birthday boy was merely overexcited and forgot his manners, but I really think that he was extremely rude.

Did you leave the gift and tell the parents what their DS had said about it? If he was mine, I would want to know what he had done.

Patsy x

Hulababy · 16/09/2007 20:33

YANBU. My 5yo would know better than that.

Bink · 16/09/2007 20:36

Instant demanding of the present says it all. Even my not socially skilled 8yo ds has known for a couple of years you shouldn't say anything about presents when people arrive. My quite adept 6yo dd wouldn't dream of asking what the present is, but if she saw it and thought she wouldn't like it she would do a rather over-acted (but entirely genuine) attempt to say thankyou to the giver - and then come and whisper privately & worriedly to me.

Are there other problems (social, behavioural?) with this boy? If not, then yes he's an unpleasantly rude item.

gess · 16/09/2007 20:39

Hmm very rude although I'd forgive him if it was a one off. If I suspected my child might behave like that I'd hover nearby hissing (actually I'd make sure the presents were opened later).

Mind you I'm used to ds1 who having finally learned to open presents now takes one look and if he likes it scurries off to a corner to sniff it carefully, if he doesn't just drops it on the floor and wanders off. You need a thick skin!

pinkbubble · 16/09/2007 20:42

DC do make me cringe sometimes, I remember several yrs ago, my eldests' birthday, first card she opened - money in it, 2nd card she opened - money in it, she then opened every card, as soon as she looked inside saw there was no money lost interest instantly and tossed them to the side! we did try to just laugh it off!

Alambil · 16/09/2007 20:45

I'd have done as he told me to!! That would teach him a lesson! horrid child (if there are no SN to consider)

Original poster

LyraBelacqua · 16/09/2007 20:46

Tbh, he and his younger brother are a bit, how should i put it, undisciplined? His mother would love them to have impeccable manners but she's really weak and soft with them and they just do what they want and get away with it.
The younger one always demands to take lots of toys home when he's at our house but when my DSs are at his house he tells them they can't play with his toys. Their mother tells them off in a really half-hearted manner and they ignore her.

OP posts:

Alambil · 16/09/2007 20:53

In that case, I'd have no issue taking the gift back if he can't be gracious about it!

Cor, I'm a hard mum eh!

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