My name or exes name first?

[ShambalaHambala]

I've recently put in an application through family court to have my son's name double barreled. They will not remove my exes surname (even though he's been given no contact through the courts for domestic abuse) and have been told it is reasonable that they will make an order to double barrel. I have every intention of not using my exes surname, but am not sure which order the surnames should be. It sounds fine either way round. What would you do?

Yours first, and hope people just drop off the second one for everyday use.

People who I’ve known with double barrelled names have generally just used the last one, so I suggest yours goes last.

I would say yours first. There's a girl in DD's class with a double barrelled surname - her parents are still together and she always describes herself by her full surname when asked - but people tend to shorten it to only the first name.

I am swaying towards using my surname first.

Put the ex's name first. That way you and your son can pretend it's a middle name if you choose to and that your surname, the second part of the double barrel, is his "real" surname.

Eg. You're Ms Enteritis, your ex is Mr Gastro, your son is Mr Ivor Gastro-Enteritis, but if he chooses he can call himself Mr Ivor G. Enteritis.

My sons all have my name first then husbands

Don’t put yours first!! Dd has both mine and exes surnames (NOT double barrelled) when I registered her I asked the lady which way to put it to make sure mine is the main one used, she said to put mine first. Well that isn’t the case, it’s been the opposite, every where just dropped mine and and only used exes, I later found out that as mine was first places assumed it was another middle name. I regret putting mine first it’s definitely the one that’s last that is the main one

My name is double barrel and most people drop the first unless I prompt them. So for example my work email always ends up with just the last name if I leave it up to the IT guys. The GP receptionist always uses the last.

I would put exes name in the middle, where it will get lost as a middle name. People tend to use the last surname of two, meaning you and DS will have the same name. As in the example by the above poster.

My surname is last and Dd is known by my surname.

Yep, agree, last. Easier to lose one in the middle.

I have a DB surname. I just drop the 'middle' name as it's too much of a mouthful and to be honest, I don't like DB names, even very old ones like mine.

I'd put yours last. I reckon people are more likely to drop the first name.

First.

Mine were double barrelled with mine first and his last. His just got dropped by everyone including schools.

As it's double-barrelled, it's likely to be a long name so when there is a character restriction, only the first name is really visible. I only use the first part of my surname day to day.

If you don't use a hyphen, put yours last so the other becomes a middle name.

I would put the ex’s first, yours last. Then register the child as if his surname is just a second name and introduce the child as xx Brown

Instinctively I would probably but mine first, but actually thinking about it I think PPs are right, most people with double barrelled names seem to drop the first one.

Last....for the reasons given above.

My little one has my surname first and my DP's surname second, no hyphen. This was with the intention that she had both but mine would probably not be used much.
Places like the Dr's and pharmacy etc seem to have her noted under his surname and mine as a middle name, despite me filling in the forms as per her birth certificate.
Which is fine for our purposes so you may find that happens.

Don't hyphenate - that will help.

Agree put yours last, and let exes name flbr used as a middle name.

I was in a very similar situation to you, and the judge actually suggested keeping her father's surname as an extra middle name and changed her surname to mine.

So instead of Baby Middle name Ex's surname, she is now Baby Middle name Ex's surname My surname... no hyphen, no double barrel.

Worth a try?

Your name last, that way instead of John Brown Smith he could be John B Smith

Yours last. I have a double barrelled name and often drop the middle name for ease

There was a girl at school who had a double barrelled surname, she was the only one in our year. She tended to drop the last part and keep the first. However, I think that was more motivated by a preference for the parent whose name the first half was.

I think it's best to have your name last, especially if there's no hyphen as the first half will look like a middle name e.g. Joe Blogs Smith will probably be called Joe Smith more than Joe Blogs.