My name or exes name first?

[ShambalaHambala]

I've recently put in an application through family court to have my son's name double barreled. They will not remove my exes surname (even though he's been given no contact through the courts for domestic abuse) and have been told it is reasonable that they will make an order to double barrel. I have every intention of not using my exes surname, but am not sure which order the surnames should be. It sounds fine either way round. What would you do?

I have a double barrelled name ( all DHs surname) we often shorten it to last name only, so put yours last.
Annoying you can't change it to just your surname, given the circumstances

Can I just caution against getting too hopeful about being able to drop one part. You might not find it as easy as it used to be to get a known-as name through. Especially if your ex is likely to know the school and ask for copies of reports etc.

Schools are supposed to ensure that all parties with PR agree with a known-as name and more are starting to comply with this.

I hope it's ok because your DV must have been horrendous and the court should support you, but a friend recently was told very strongly by the court that the name could be DB'd, but she must use both parts at school and nursery.

Apparently courts never change it completely and only allow double barrelling. Incase deadbeat abusive parent decides they're changed which almost never happens.

I'm happy to use both parts. I actually wanted to keep both parts mainly because my son has a relationship with his sister (I have formed a friendship with her mum, exes ex) and it's nice they have this in common.

Agree with PP's about putting your name second and dropping hyphen.

One thing to consider is that which name gets used may depend on what your son's name is. If Simon Shambala Hambala, kids will probably default to Shambala, if Harry Shambala Hambala, probably default to Hambala.

If you use a hyphen, put yours first.
If no hyphen, put yours last.

PP saying if you put yours first they'll assume it's a middle name etc, double barrel uses a "-" so Jones-Jackson. It's impossible to not know that is the surname. Thomas Neil Jones-Jackson for example?? Anyone that doesn't say the whole name or know what a double barrelled name is is stupid

Don't clarify to your ex that his name will be a middle name. Just have two surnames and tell people his is now a middle name.

You don't have to do it by court order if you both agree. Literally only have to do a deed poll signed by you both and both signatures witnessed by someone unrelated

OP I work in a school and you can register children as "known as" E.g. "Joe Bloggs-Smith know as Joe Smith" - you can essentially pretend the other name doesn't exist. And for this reason I'd put your name first

OP I work in a school and you can register children as "known as" E.g. "Joe Bloggs-Smith know as Joe Smith" - you can essentially pretend the other name doesn't exist. And for this reason I'd put your name first

Your school should only be allowing that if all parties with PR agree.
The OP shouldn’t rely on this; schools are getting hotter on it.