to get bored with threads where people want all the perks........................

[2shoes]

that go with being disabled or having a disabled child.
like parking bays and toilets. do they want the disability as well?

I can't think of any disabled toilets that are not also changing rooms or family toilets.

I can. Try Tesco's. Who don't put loos in the baby changing room. And where the trolleys with baby seats on don't fit in the trolley lockers.

Actually ahve done it twice- but the first time had both sn ds's (and the nt one) with me so fair enough

The toilets here tend to have a separate M&B area, but it does vary. usually when its just disabled you need a radar key.

Dh won't use disabled touilets because some woman abused him for being too lazy to take (ASD, SN, still in nappies) ds3 into the mens loo's like a proper parent

Us disabled parents, we're not always kind to each toehr are we?

Any of our local shopping centres are impossible for a mum with a buggy to go to the loo. Without leaving their child outside unattended in an eminently stealable buggy.

and i do not see toilets and parking bays as a "perk" they are a necessity when you are the parent of a child that needs help in the toilet, or you need to get out of a car and into a wheelchair.

if you find useing the toilets that are designed fior your use difficult then try getting in touch with the store managment.....dont just use thefacilities designed for disabled.

would you walk into your neighbours house with your christmas turkey and use their oven "because its bigger than mine"

I don't think that's reasonable mamazon, and I also don't think confusing toilets and parking spaces helps the argument - the parking spaces are a no brainer.

But the toilets - you're right, it is the fault of the management, but at the moment in time when you need to go to the loo, you can't wait for them to build a new facility. And I do think EVERYONE has the right to go to the toilet safely. And that includes mothers with buggies, who are plentiful in shopping centres.

The reason I think it is different from parking spaces is that it really doesn't inconvenience anyone, certainly for no longer than a minute or 2 at the most. But honestly, I've never ever met anyone waiting if I've used one and come out.

And I agree they aren't a perk.

I started the thread on the toilet situation - just wanted a rant - However it is difficult with two dds to use the loo. Just think planners should take this into consideration. I dont use disabled loos just think we are a bit poor in this country when it comes to child friendly facilities.

As i have just posted on the other thread on similar subject in AIBU tnite - please DO NOT assume that the mother and child waiting outside the toilet are not disabled just because you don't see a wheelchair.

It very easily could be me and my ds who looks 'normal' - sadly he ain't. What YOU and OTHER can't see is the catheter he must empty at certain times of the day as he is doubly incontinent.

I get totally sick of people assuming disabled = wheelchair.

MABS - if you're referring to my post, what I meant was I've never met ANYONE at all - nobody waiting. Not 'never met anyone who looks disabled'. I'm well aware that disability is sometimes not at all obvious - one of my best friends' sons is severely autistic, and yet can appear 'non-disabled'. Hope I didn't cause any offence.

No, you are fine Tortoise - touchy subject for me as i often get questioned for using disabled facilities with ds, no offence taken.

what you think being able to go to the toilet when out of your home is a perk that only disabled people should have? come on. Are you saying young babies should have to sit in their own urine and faeces and get infected sores because their parent has had to go out and buy food? I really don't understand this attitude, surely parents of all children recognise another person who has mobility or logistical issues to a varying extent and would want them all to get a break.

MABS I have the same thing- ds1 only gets a few moments notice (HFA) of a need to use loo- ds3 is still in nappies. DS1 in particular looks normal, ds3 is a bit small for his age so you'd oprobably think he was a slightly odd toddler rather than an sn 4 year old

No-one's ever had a go at me for using the disabled loos with ds1 although we have had looks in the ladies (only recently though and aged 8 he is tall for his age).

Don;t have a go at 2shoes on this thread. i suspect she had to change one nappy too many today. I can understand that. I'm fed up with ds3 still in nappies & he's 2 and a half. Although, if ds1 was still in nappies (as the majority of his classmates are) it would be minor in the greater scheme of things, it is still tiring day after day. I can imagine having days when I woud want every non disabled person hovering near a disabled loo out of my way to change a nappy in peace.

We all have days like that.

I can understand that gess! If you've had a bad day 2shoes, hope tomorrow is better!

I have used, and plan to continue to use disabled loos for as long as a) they contain baby changing facilities and b) there is no other safe way for me to use a loo and keep DS2 in his buggy close by.

I am, however, open to suggestions as to how not to use them from the posters who seem so vehement about it.

I don;t think that was 2shoes point. Imagine changing the nappy of a teenager or young adult, as many mothers do, then imagine having a bad day. Then cut some slack.

Gess, if that was behind 2shoes OP then fine - there were others though, and I am genuinely interested.

I am wondering (rather worriedly actually) exactly where parents/carers are supposed to change older children/teenager/young adults who need changing??!

Do these kinds of facilties exist I wonder?

Well, my mum was pondering on this when she took ds out for his daily walk when he was a newborn (in those days I had no idea that disabled loos often officially - and more often unofficially - doubled up as loos for people with buggies). She returned from the Abbey Gardens to say "it's easy, you just squat down and have a pee whilst no-one's looking". So there is your answer, have a slash behind a tree, it's all fine.

In response to the comment that getting around town with a wheelchair must be far worse than with a buggy: it is. It is horrendous. The constant backtracking and looking for ramps, the what to do when you can't find one ... we went out in Edinburgh one day and it was truly horrendous. (Not just in the Old Town). Leeds not much better with the streets constantly being dug up. Round where we live, we have had months of disruption whilst they replace the street lights. Apparently it's okay to block off paths completely - or leaving a gap too narrow for a buggy or wheelchair - for weeks on end.

I think only mamazon. Perhaps she's had a bad day too.

Perdonally I;d swap ds1;s disability with any random passer by. And there are days when I'd gladly kill anyone using the 'perks' (in fact there are things we haven't been able to access because people who don't need the perks are cluttering up using them & that makes me livid, but is another story). I can understand the emotions behind this thread.

shiny- I think from this thread its a case of buy the fledglings mats (they're like thin gym mats) and use the floor. Lets hope its not flooded.

It's an oversight though isn't it. Ds1's school has changing spaces for everyone (presumably some with hoists- I've only seen the juniors).

That's foul. Why should a person have to lay on on a disgusting public loo floor even on a mat, or order to be made clean and dry. There isn't room in a cubicle anyway.. and it's not something you can do in public.

I still balance 7 year DS on those pull down things. But I can't do that for much longer.

Sorry for digression from actual thread subject 2shoes.

Agree utterly crazy to have disabled loos and not consider that there may be young people/adults who need changing too.

"you can use this disaled loo providing you;re continent"

crazy isn;t it/