Men at work apologise for swearing in front of me

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In the business I work in people don’t swear that much but that kind of language does get used in general conversations.

I’ve noticed this more since working remotely, I work in a male dominated industry and one of the managers started apologising to me specifically (the only female) in virtual meetings when he swore. Now everyone else is doing it. I have said that the swearing doesn’t bother me.

AIBU for this to bother me? The men don’t apologise to each other when they swear 🙄 and now they do it on client meetings too.

Everyone wears sometimes, but in a professional setting it is inappropriate and I suppose apologising for swearing is a step in the right direction, but to be honest - and I can be really sweary when the mood takes me - they shouldn't be doing it at all whilst in work, whether it bothers you or not and they certainly shouldn't be swearing in front of clients!

How infuriating.
My dad does this - gets out raged when I swear but doesn't mind when my DH does.
I've taken to saying "what, it's not like I said c*nt" when he does it.
Perhaps something similar?!

@LittleCandle I work in construction, the clients swear too 😂

Men at work.....great band ,very polite, never swore in front of a lady

Oh god I’ve had this before. It drives me bananas. The implication that as a woman I must be mortally offended by bad language in a way the men wouldn’t be and the othering that comes with it. It’s like if all the men in the room stood when I stood, this isn’t a Jane Austen novel - I just want to be treated as an equal!

No advice I’m afraid op (my best is an eyebrow raise and a ‘really, doesn’t bother me’ before moving the conversation on) but YANBU to find it irritating.

Drop in C* into every sentence- see their reaction then!

Just laugh, & tell them to STFU every time they apologise, I'd dislike being singled out for this (& it's boring) & would prefer to seen as part of the team.

It's all a bit sexist and sad tbh. So the men can apologise for swearing just in case they've offended the delicate ladies ears, but they can't actually just not swear in the first place? If they truly thought that swearing in front of a woman was unacceptable they why continue to do it?
I work in education, we'd never swear in a professional capacity but boy oh boy do we swear when we socialise!

"Stop fucking apologising" should do it.

I think you have a few options -

Say you should be sorry, you massive fucking cunt. Obviously only if you have that kind of relationship. I dont think he would apologise again

Ask why are you only apologising to me, you do know women can have potty mouths as well / men arent the only ones that can swear

Call him afterwards and ask not to be singled out, its treating you differently because you're female

Just say 'it really isn't a problem, you can stop apologising' every time and make no reference to your sex

I used to be the only female in the office, a couple of the engineers used to say sorry when they swore. I replied I should fucking hope so. They soon stopped.

Definitely start dropping the c word then pick on the main offender and apologise to them every time

Yep. "Stop fucking apologising"

How about 'why are you apologising to me - I'm not your mum FFS'.?

it’s called chivalry. They’re more likely to hold a door open for you as well

It's cultural, possibly? In some places, swearing in front of women and children is forbidden. Of course, there as here women sometimes swear like sailors. It may feel sexist. But overall I don't think this taboo is that harmful if it encourages people to be more mindful of their language and have some self-control.

Hate swearing, although I’m very much in the minority it seems, don’t mind being thought of as prudish.....just something I absolutely deplore.

Just reading your thread title the phrase "Well don't fucking do it again, then!" went through my head, but I see many, many people have beat me to it !

Now I’ve been reported for swearing at work by male office staff not one of the lads. My boss told me that they said I’d got a hell of a gob on me for a woman. Boss told him I had to stick up for myself or they’d tear me apart. I must say that I very much get treated like one of the lads, of course there’s always the odd one or two.

Perhaps they worked with a female in the past that took offence to this and complained about them so they feel they have to apologise. It’s nothing to be offended about.

Sounds like a very irritating micro aggression. Frustrating to have constant reminders of your difference at work. I hate working with sexist people and am in the process of leaving my current team. When I told my boss I had an interview his response was 'i told (male colleague) he should go for that!' made it worse because he hadn't suggested it to me! He makes comments about housework too and my colleague is always going on about his wife homeschooling in lockdown and I don't get why he isn't helping her? She has a job too.

Hopefully they don't get worse but not a good sign you'll find it easy to get on.

Aw - how... quaint! When I was young it wasn’t uncommon for adults to check each other if a child was in earshot or for a man to apologise for swearing infront of a woman. I still do the first but always found the second amusing (for me - I wouldn’t want people swearing in front of my granny!)

I am myself, and I work with very highly qualified people in medicine and science, we all swear, and never apologise ... not sure what that makes us lol 😆 unprofessional potty mouths 🤪
Saying that I do apologise to my team when I'm ranting and swearing 🤬... but that's the team I'm really close to and we all have space to rant -- it's therapeutic 😆

I don't think anyone should be swearing in the workplace.

But I'm just old-fashioned I suppose. I don't see the need

I wish everyone would stop swearing. Its ugly and unecessary and totally inappropriate in a work setting. It is hard to take people seriously when they cannot articulate anything without littering a sentence with profanities. It makes people come across as uneducated/ not to be taken seriously. A waste of words, unless you have just dropped a tin on your foot