What’s the most irritating thing a family member has done during lockdown?

[MadameBee]

DH organised to have the internet upgraded yesterday, I was a bit apprehensive about it as I am totally reliant on the WiFi atm in order to carry on working. DH assured me it would be fine with minimal interruptions.

Mid conference call (Skype) the phone goes dead and all systems down.

Internet guy had asked if he can cut the phone line and DH told him to go ahead .....

It was Virgin ... ? He wasn’t wearing PPE either, although nearly didn’t need it seeing as murdering him crossed my mind anyway

My DH opened the dishwasher.

Bastard.

I've never been so irritated about how my husband chews loudly. With his mouth open.

My husband is lucky to still be alive.
He made himself some sandwiches for lunch and I could probably have made Christmas dinner for the whole county and used less utensils. I would stab him if I could find a sodding knife. Perhaps that was his plan.

DCs unplugged the internet modem router thingy so they could plug in their games console. DH and I were both working at the time.

They broke the power adapter in the process so it took us half an hour or so to find another one (v lucky that we had another one!) and get it back up and running again.

Actually, the random people from Ohio / New Zealand pestering would drive me crackers FakeFraudSquad.

My MIL turned up at our door as She "couldn't take not seeing the kids any longer" if she had at least have called me first I would have been happt to arrange something to support her. As it was, I had no choice and waseft really possed off.

Excuse the typos

DH started painting our bedroom 5 years ago. Long story but only painted one wall and it got abandoned. We had more pressing stuff to deal with. At the weekend i was engrossed in a craft project and he disappeared upstairs. To surprise me, he finished the bedroom walls but in the colour i chose FIVE years ago! I'd never choose that colour now!

One family member has roped us into a tedious Skype quiz which is fucking painful. Another drove miles to admire another's freshly painted garden fence after being told about it during a phone call. I mean FFS, "essential journey"?

Oh and also DM calling me to "check you're coping dear" and taking the opportunity to remind me of all the things I really ought to be worrying about. Classic DM move.

This afternoon DH started drilling in the garden, right outside the room I am working in - I went out 4 fucking times to ask him to stop

I started a thread a while ago about my husband and what is related to my username. Since lockdown, it is an absolute miracle I haven't murdered him over it. I didn't realise the worst of his noises until breakfast time, as he's usually long at work by then. He chews toast like a donkey with a broken jaw, along with deep, heavy breathing through his nose with every. fucking. chew. He also takes what seems like most of the morning to chew/gurn through two whole slices. Did I mention he leaves crumbs and spread all over the counters every morning? No court will convict me...

The 2 year old has learned how to open all the internal doors, and will scream if not allowed to. He is also obsessed with trying to drink out of the cat bowl. So much fun.

Talking of dickhead cats, mine is kindly dealing with the neighbours' garden's rodent problem. Namely by trying to bring them all into our house. Since we now only let him in if he's mouse (please let them be fucking mice) free, he's now leaving carcasses outside the door for us. The furry bastard then starts getting deeply upset when we remove his mangled prizes, howling the house down.

Ah, that was therapeutic .

Oooh where shall I start.

My mum: "oh you'll miss getting to spend so much time with the kids when you go back to work."

A) I have never stopped working. I'm just trying to do a senior management role via Zoom and a crappy laptop on my bed as well as all housework and caring for 3 x dc 5 and under.

B) I would actually sell organs to be able to send them back to school/ childcare.

DD1, 5yo: now wants to "help" with everything. Especially things involving hot liquids, bleach, knives, or my new Miele hoover. When she is not helping she is riding her bike in a circle around the decking or licking my face as she pretends to be a dog.

DD2, 2yo: has learnt the phrases "I'm not having that" and "call me Mrs Hername". Conversations go like this -
Me I'm going to change your nappy, DD2.
DD2: I am MRS DD2.
Me Right, Mrs DD2, I am going to change your nappy.
DD2 I'm not having that, Mummy!
It's like dealing with a stubborn pensioner

DS 2yo is obsessed with his willy. Every time he gets changed or into the bath, it's "oh, HI penis!" In a big fake tone of surprise. He is constantly demanding "a bit more penis" very loudly in the garden. He also likes to point at the man who's just moved in next door and shout "Look, there it is! It's got eyes!"

God knows what the neighbours think of us 🤦‍♀️

@Casino218 yes I know, she attempted to lick it and I got it off her 🤷‍♀️ she’ll attempt to go for anything, I’ve had to physically remove kidney beans from her before and she stole a piece of my sons cucumber the other day. Cheeky mare.

Today Micheal Jackson’s Beat It was replaced with the opening bars of the good the bad and the ugly. All. Fucking. Day.

I honestly think taking up an instrument when there are others in the house that can’t leave and playing the same few ‘tricky’ bars constantly is beyond self absorbed and lacking in empathy. Last week, after every week saying how bullshit the Thursday clap is h suddenly had a revelation that he could play his guitar on the street and get loads of attention (that he’s sulking about me not giving him). So he went and played outside. Cue loads of neighbours cooing ooooh I didn’t know you played the guitar. Today he thought it was Thursday and said he was going out to play a song he’d written for the nhs. I foolishly told him it was actually Wednesday. But I’ve got that to look forward to tomorrow.

DH whistling across his back teeth. Usually just the one fragment from the Simpsons theme tune. Constantly "to keep my spirits up".

MrsK that reminds me of when my previous NDN learnt to play the first few bars of Seven Nation Army.

Again, and again, and again.......

Pretty much everything my DH does.

He’s driving me insane 😡

For those of you who have bastards that eat all the nice biscuits, crisps, and chocolate... My evil tip is to hide them in two places (assuming you're the one who does most of the cooking). Freezer, and inside saucepans with the lid on. My DC never think to look in either, because the freezer is where the boring food lives, and why would they lift the lid of a saucepan?
Their snacks have their own cupboard

My ds19 has been playing the guitar every spare second he gets while wfh .
Now, he’s quite good but I grew up with my dad doing the same and ended up with misophonia at 14 so any noises like that drill right into my brain and make me feel like my head will explode .
I am loathe to ask him to stop as it helps him atm while he’s stuck in the house and away from his girlfriend.
He has started to take his acoustic guitar out with him on his daily walk though, a bit like a travelling minstrel so that helps !

Plan to read through thread tomorrow. Mine is, my other half the other night has a VERY smelly poo literally just before I get in bathroom to do my teeth. Not only that it was my flossing night (usually I do alternate nights) so I couldn't just quickly brush teeth and get out of there! Bleugh 🤢😡😡

MrsKoala you have inadvertently infected my household! I was reading out a few of the funniest posts from this thread to my DH tonight not mine about me wanting to stab him obviously) and now both he and my son have started playing Beat It just to wind me up. I think I will stab them both tomorrow. No jury would convict.

The husband writing a song for the NHS is only narrowly beaten by the dad hammering a Boris themed scarecrow into the lawn.

My husband has also jet washed the patio three times this week OUTSIDE THE WINDOW I AM WORKING AT.

And suddenly become a fucking builder ...