@Jamandbreadd
Re credit, when you arrive and need to buy cars etc you won’t be accepted for any credit so unless you have cash or enough on UK credit cards to pay then you are a bit stuck. If you do buy with a UK credit card you need to work out the exchange rate.
It takes about a year to build up a credit profile here so for the first year you need to pay in advance for car insurance, phone plans, house insurance, TV packages, internet, gas etc. Nobody will let you set up payments like Direct Debits, in fact Direct Debits do not exist here.
We have found that people are superficially friendly and warm but scratch the surface and everyone is out for themselves. As long as their comfort is not affected they are ok but the moment they are inconvenienced it’s game over.
We found this especially when setting up bank accounts, getting school places etc. We would visit the branch, speak to someone and arrange to call them the next day to finalise things. We would call the next day and they wouldn’t have done any of the things we had all agreed would happen. It is VERY frustrating. In the Uk for example if you call a facility and get the wrong extension usually the person would offer to transfer your call. Not here, you get told you have the wrong number and they would hang up.
It baffled us for ages why people drive everywhere. I am not sure if it’s down to safety or not but nobody walks say between shops in a shopping park. They would drive and park as close to the door then get in the car again and drive to the next place even if it would be quicker to walk. My neighbors get in the car and drive 3 houses away to the mailbox and back.
We are in a very liberal state but there is still an open carry rule so we often see people in the park or shop with a gun on their hip. It scares me a lot.
I travel with work all over the US and the number of homeless people and Tent Cities is astonishing. Many homeless people have serious mental health issues and I am sure in the UK they would be sectioned for their own well being yet they are just left, in the streets with no medical intervention.
It’s not unusual for people to live out of their car.
All of our neighbours have multiple guns and laugh at us for not having any. It’s a way of life, date night at the shooting range, kids with mini rifles etc. It is always awkward when the kids want to go on play dates as we ask about gun safety and not always are the guns in a safe.
Work wise, we have found systems to be very dated. There is a lot of paper used all the time rather than emails. The annual leave allowance is awful and often new starts don’t accrue any leave at all for the first 12 months so I would make sure your husband negotiates his UK annual leave allowance.
Our children have had it drummed into them to say please and thank you and it’s noticeable here. Kids here would say ask for things but not use their manners. Also people here do not use cutlery, google it, people cut with the edge of their fork which drives me nuts when the children try and do that.
Re food - you will be better in NY than we are here but where in the UK we have Indians and Chinese takeaways it is all Mexican and Thai. We miss having a good curry. Also, if you do find a curry place they use the thigh meat. We miss a good curry.
The cost of good food is ridiculous. Fruit and veg are really expensive as is lamb if you can even get it. Beef is really cheap. There is a lot of cheese in the cooking here.
We notice that people don’t care about the environment so much, everything is disposable. For example I bought a candle with the shopping and they wrapped it in 3 carrier bags. People here have USA flags out the front and the law is that you don’t have a flag in the dark so everyone has porch lights on all night every night. There is no concern about using loads of paper and the cars have massive engines which guzzle fuel and have terrible emissions.
There is no MOT system either so we see loads of car which are not road worthy and pour out fumes.
We really miss having a good heart to heart with people. It feels like here while we have a great group of people to hang out with, none ever show any vulnerability or really talk about deep stuff.
It feels like people are competing to be the best, brightest fastest etc. This is especially apparent in school with competitive parents.
People don’t understand the British self deprecating sense of humour. People look quite puzzled and I have had people tell me to work on my confidence when I have made a joke about being rubbish at something.
It’s very annoying when people ask where you are from and then tell you that they are from the UK too despite never having been there. It happens multiple times a day.
Many people see value in what they own, they like a $100k truck but it’s all on credit. There is a different mentality around material things.
We feel that there is still an underlying racism. It is just little things people say that in the UK people would be appalled at yet here it’s acceptable. People mock Mexican laborers for example. It’s not pleasant at all.
You are welcome to PM me if you like as I don’t want to block up your whole thread. It just feels like we are tuned in differently! Other expats feel the same, in fact a friend described it as living in a weird reality show where everyone is competing for the best and to be the most popular but with no substance.
The good things are cheap fuel, our kids school is fantastic and has so many great resources. The car parking spaces are wonderful, you can drive right in. The lovely wide roads are great. People in our area take great pride in the neighborhood so no litter or noise etc. We like the sprinklers in the garden and the houses are much more spacious and well laid out compared to the UK (blown air heating here - no radiators).
It’s a massive step and if you could do it for a couple of years it would be a great experience but I wouldn’t make the move without an exit strategy.
I realise this may be unpleasant reading for Americans but we have been here long enough to feel like we have given it a really good go. We have travelled extensively and this is our genuine impression.