Husband meeting his family in lockdown

[kittykaty]

AIBU? Furious!! Live very close to in-laws who have an adult child at home. I have seen this “child” breaching lockdown guidelines and asked husband to keep social distance to protect our kids. He has not been great at complying and we have had several rows already. Caught him getting out of a car last night with the in-laws and I have exploded. So upset/fed up with his lack of regard to our own family. What would you do?

Show him #RIPMark on Twitter. He posted on Twitter about how he'd been in hospital for a few days with COVID. 8 hours later his brother posted that it had killed him.

In fact here it is to show him as it's public on Twitter.

Are some of the posters here for real? Have they been living in a different planet?

So while 21,000+ have been dying, businesses have been going down the pan, and the majority of have been desperately missing our families, have you all been just popping round to see your parents cos, you know, what harm can it do?

FFS 😡

@Hotcuppatea

I wonder how many of you get in your cars and drive? Guess what? There is no guarantee that you aren't going to die or be maimed in a road traffic accident. Time to sell the car, right?

Well, yes, if the government were to make driving illegal, it would be time to get rid of the car.

As it happens, they’ve just temporarily made it illegal to visit people who don’t live with you.

You might want to watch the news - they mention these rules occasionally, along with reports about the 21,000+ people who have died so far.

Those of you who are saying that they wouldn't mind as long as their family wasn't high risk are missing the point of this lockdown. You don't get to make the decision that you and your family are comfortable with the risk of catching covid because you don't exist in a bubble. If you catch it you become a risk not just to your household but to everyone you interact with, everyone you pass on your daily exercise, in the supermarket, etc.

You may have seen people talking about the R0 number - the average number of people who are infected by every individual who catches covid - which can only be brought down by everyone minimising their chances of catching it and/or passing it on. And because you don't necessarily know when you have it, everyone needs to try and minimise those chances all the time. Everyone, including you.

Say you caught it on one of these visits, and were confident it wouldn't get passed on outside your household because none of you are working (at all) , or going to the shops (at all), or exercising outside the home (at all) and literally the only people you are in close proximity to AT ALL are your own household and the family members you invite to the house: you are STILL increasing the overall danger to others.

Because if, god forbid, you are one of the unlucky ones who ends up in hospital, you're then increasing the risk for every other patient and member of staff.

It's unlikely, sure, but every single small choice that we make at the moment has the potential to increase or decrease the likelihood of these things happening. So if it isn't essential, you should always make the choice to decrease risk for everyone's sake.

The issue here is protecting his parents and the Nhs.

Not sure what you are protecting your child from???

It seems to me whole message about reasons behind social distancing has been completely lost in the hysteria

I couldn't get worked up about this. My h's family are abroad and they can visit family as long as everyone's isolating.

I couldn't get worked up about this. My h's family are abroad and they can visit family as long as everyone's isolating.

I suggest that people who want to do this should have fucked off abroad while
they still could, then. The law here
is absolutely crystal clear.

Have I been living in a bubble of people who are taking this seriously while the rest of the country absolutely takes the piss? This thread makes it seem like it.

Have I been living in a bubble of people who are taking this seriously while the rest of the country absolutely takes the piss? This thread makes it seem like it

I’m starting to wonder that too from recent posts. Picnics, meeting friends or bf/gf, seeing family etc.

Most of our neighbours are taking it seriously but I’ve seen recently family visiting a few that aren’t part of the household. I’ve also seen children mixing from different families.

People should be encouraged to report more using the system that was set up, even if police don’t respond it’s a way of seeing how many aren’t following the lockdown and helps with decision making.

I'm astonished by some of the replies on here. The rules are very fucking clear. What makes you all think you can decide for yourselves which ones you do and don't follow? I don't care if you and your family all consider yourselves low-risk. The longer idiots like you think you can flout the rules because you're adults and can decide for yourself what is and isn't safe, the longer we have to live with restrictions.

I have seen this “child” breaching lockdown guidelines

And then you said he is actually selling farm equipment which sounds an awful lot like work and therefore not even against the rules.

I think some people just like rules. Absolutely no logic applied ever, just this unwavering faith that if we all hold on to the (make believe) rules then this virus will slink back off into the night.

What the fuck is the point in worrying about something that you cannot control? If you are young and healthy the risk of death is so minuscule that if we all had those risks it would barely make the news.

There is so much rampant (and often unwarranted) anxiety on these threads and posters get offended that not everyone feels the way they do sorry I don't permanently lose sleep over the massive list of things that have a minute chance of killing me every day ♟

@Chockablok but it's not just about the risk of you dying, is it. It's the risk of you, me, any of us getting it when disregarding then rules, and ending up in hospital needing treatment and taking the place of someone else who caught it through no fault of their own.

and taking the place of someone else who caught it through no fault of their own.

I've heard it all now 😂

It's an invisible virus. It's no ones fault if they catch it. And everyone is equally worthy of a place in hospital.

Or do you also argue that we should stop treating smokers, anyone who drinks alcohol and anyone who is overweight I imagine they may also have taken a place from someone who contacts this disease "through no fault of their own".

"What the fuck is the point in worrying about something that you cannot control?"

But you can control limiting close social interaction. You can control yourself by not getting into cars with people unnecessarily that don't live with you.

If you really truly can't then we're all fucked anyway

*It's an invisible virus. It's no ones fault if they catch it. And everyone is equally worthy of a place in hospital.

Or do you also argue that we should stop treating smokers, anyone who drinks alcohol and anyone who is overweight I imagine they may also have taken a place from someone who contacts this disease "through no fault of their own".*

Actually if you catch it when you're deliberately flouting the very clear rules, then yes it is probably your own fault. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, and no one would ever know where or how you'd picked it up, but if you were to catch it when you were hanging out with people outside your own household when you should have been at home, then you have brought it on yourself. No one would deny you treatment or treat you any differently, and it would still be very sad. But that doesn't change the fact that you would have made a massive error of judgement.

I don't think the comparison with smoking or over-eating is relevant here. This is about people deciding that they don't have to follow the rules that the vast majority of people are following, against their wishes, for the greater good.

@Chockablok

Wild guess, but have you spent the last few weeks lapping up everything David Icke says? And the last few days defending Trump on the basis that he didn’t explicitly tell anyone to take bleach. Seen a few graphs your mates have shared on Facebook and now think you’re a world-leading epidemiologist?

The law is crystal clear. The rules are purposely designed to be simple so they can be followed even by simple people. Even then, some of them think they know better.

They’re not designed for people to apply logic to, and yes they’re designed to be followed unwaveringly. And even then we get people like you deciding ‘interpret’ them.

No one likes the current situation. No one enjoys losing their businesses, and not seeing their families, and having their freedoms curtailed. But it’s not made any easier by the likes of you mouthing off about blatantly disregarding them, while we all do the right and lawful thing.

If you don’t like the law, then start a petition, write to your MP, whatever. But until then just stick to it like the majority of the whole global population are.

I despair at many of these replies I really do. There are simple rules which protect everyone if everyone complies. Except for sneery middle class loophole-seekers who think they know better and arrogantly feel they can assess risks better than experts.

Surely 'selling farm equipment ' is work and therefore ok.

I would be cross because his visits are against the rules not because it is 'endangering' anyone.

You can’t see a group of family from another household AND be keeping the rules.

Mittens that literally does put you in a vulnerable group.

@Stellamboscha

"YANBU
For god's sake people have lost all sense of proportion and humanity too.
Of course you should visit family if you or they need you. I am delighted my DS who lives elsewhere visits us."

What you are describing is not social distancing. It's exactly what we're being asked NOT to do. Coronavirus transmission and death rates are falling because of what OTHER people are doing, not you. we are protecting you, why aren't you protecting us?

I've been going through the same situation with my husband, him wanting to travel to London to see his 2 boys which are from seperate households then he would stay at his mums who is a high risk in which she has cancer. What is wrong with some people???

We have come to blows with this as he says I am stopping him from seeing his kids

People are assessing their own risk and those of their families. I know loads of people who are still seeing their relatives on the quiet. I can't get aerated about it, frankly.

If he was in the car with them, he wasn't socially distancing. He'd have been within two metres of anyone else in the car, and breathing stale air.

I've been to my daughter's twice to take things to her. But she's been inside with the window open, and I've been in the front garden two metres (at least) away. I'm reasonably comfortable with that, though others might not be. But getting in a car with people outside your household is definitely wrong and a bad idea.

@opticaldelusion 'people' are generally not qualified to assess their own risk. And once again, it's not only about 'their own risk'. It's about the risk to public health. Everyone you know who is seeing their relatives on the quiet, without legitimate need, is acting selfishly. Probably more than 99% of us would love to see our relatives right now. But we don't because we're not self-centred and wilfully ignorant.