Should you be able to see this much of a child’s ribs?

[Smellbellina]

I know apparently you should be able to see a child’s ribs if they are not overweight, but is seeing the ribs from the front from collar bone down really ok? Am I being unreasonable to think it looks underweight as opposed to healthy?

Well that’s not very much and not very healthy. I think I’d be subtly encouraging her to eat a bit more if I were you OP. Does she have some favourite dinners you could make?

I was a skinny kid, DD1 is skinny, I worry DD3 is something else but that could be harking back to the worry from when she was a baby, thank you all you have reassured me. I think she is missing her Nanna’s cooking so I might get a few dishes prepped just for her and she can have those if she doesn’t like what’s for dinner. I’m wary of turning it into a ‘thing’ though as she has a bit of a thing about not liking fat people.

She’s eating in that she had a bowl of cereals and a pancake with chocolate spread today
Well that's not ok

Well that's not ok
No, and the less she eats the less she eats the next day!

I do feed them but I don’t think she likes my cooking

This seems a bit of an odd statement. Does she eat your cooking? Surely that's one way to know if she likes if or not? And if not, and you are concerned she is underweight, why aren't you cooking things that she does like and will eat?

My DD is 7 and never stops eating or moving. I can see all her ribs. She eats loads of fruit and veg (amongst other stuff, but a healthy balanced diet).
She is tall and stringy - I was exactly the same at her age, no problems with her diet, appetite or energy levels.

How old is she? What would she it in a normal few days?

Because we don’t all want to eat cottage pie every day. She will often eat my mums dinner but that’s not happening now obviously, and even though I am WFH I don’t have the time to make the kind of dinners my mum made them 3+ nights a week before lockdown, plus puddings!

She’s 7, when I was at work DP would get them a cereal bar for breakfast, she gets offered fruit for a snack at school, school lunch and pudding (she is hit and miss with eating this) then a proper old school dinner prepared by my mum, or a dinner prepared by me (again, hit and miss but definitely preferred my mums cooking!)

Her dinner is always served on a side plate but she can ask/take more.

she has a bit of a thing about not liking fat people.

Hmm that puts a bit of a different spin on it. In what way does she not like fat people?

In a she finds them ‘disgusting’ and couldn’t like them kind of way, but she does love me and Nanna anyway.

She finds them disgusting? Where has she got that idea from? I'd say that's a bit unusual and I'd worry about her trying to keep herself extra thin on purpose.

My DS (8) is really skinny but he's really tall for his age. He's always been on 98th centile for height and 50th for weight. He's always on the go, literally never sits still for more than a few minutes and when you see him in swimming shorts, he's got a little six pack too. He genuinely eats more than I do!
I think that society has lost its sights of what is a normal sized child. 'Skinny' children seem to be the exception rather than the norm in schools these days, whereas it was quite unusual to have more than 3 or 4 overweight children in one class when I was a child in the 1980s. It's quite a worrying trend.

YABU. My 9 year old son is tall for his age and super skinny. You can see every rib, his collar bone and shoulder bones. He eats as much if not more than his 12 year old sibling. He is full of energy, athletic and plays lots of sport. Perfectly healthy.

DS2 was a bit like this. People were always commenting on how 'skinny' he was. But he wasn't. He was absolutely perfectly in proportion on every graph/chart that I could find, BMI was 50th centile, slap bang in the middle.

People are so used to seeing fat kids that a normal one looks thin.

When I started teaching primary many many years ago, practically all the children had visible ribs when getting changed to and from PE. In later years, hardly any. Children are generally far more visibly overweight now and it's the new normal.

Sorry, started writing this ages ago, just after your second post. Now that you've gone to to explain her 'bit of a thing about not liking fat people' and eating habits, I'd probably try to keep a (discreet) watch on her eating as it sounds as if it's starting to stray from what is accepted as normal. Good luck.

She's got the fat people are disgusting from somewhere, I'd worry it is affecting her attitude to eating too. A cereal bar for breakfast is tiny. Porridge or toast would be better. It's good you're going to learn to cook Nanny's dishes if that's what she likes.

she finds them ‘disgusting’ and couldn’t like them kind of way, but she does love me and Nanna anyway

This makes me think that you and Nanna are overweight yourselves. If so, do you think it is possible that a friend/classmate has commented negatively on your weight? I apologise if I have the wrong end of the stick.

It sounds a bit like she's funny about weight and the idea of weight gain etc. Kids can get stuff like this at younger ages now than they used to.

Children are naturally very lean, but if she's lost weight quickly, that's different.

So what did you cook today that she wouldn’t eat?

do you have a thing about food yourself.
you sound resistant to cooking the kind of food your children enjoy.
i don't understand this, surely you want them to eat well.
and how can you be unconcerned about them having a cereal bar for breakfast. as a regular thing.
i'm not trying to criticise you, but i just want to understand your approach. it seems a bit disjointed. also the glimpsing her through her nightdress/ t-shirt. do you not see her in the bath. it sounds like you do not look after them all the time.

seeing ribs isn't a problem but it does sound like she isn't eating enough.

as you are at home could you get her to help with all the meal preparation? it can often help children get over food fears etc as they become more interested in it if they have helped make it.

If she likes cottage pie then perhaps keep some of those elements in a different meal. so you could do a casserole with mashed potato for example. if she eats that, change the meat. change the vegetables, change the type of potato etc. Explain about healthy food as she is helping prepare it. try different fruit or veg if you can get something different (I know shopping is hard at the moment so stuff may not be available in local shops). even better if it is something none of you have tried before so it sounds more interesting. there are some really interesting things in supermarkets. Explain which food groups you need and what our bodies get from them. Schools normally do this anyway but I can't remember how much they do under the age of 7

Oh my shows how times have changed. All the ribs used to show on all children when I was a child and we were not malnourished.
I am 5 ft 8 and my brother 6ft 4, we ate well but hardly any sweets, processed/convenience foods or take away other than fish and chips on a Friday in the winter. My dad used to claim chips shops where close in the summer. No idea if this is true or not!