Nuisance neighbour. What would you do?

[NeighbourNightmare]

Next door neighbours are stuck abroad where they have a holiday home. While they’re not in the house they’ve let a friends son move in. Neighbours are in their 60s, quiet never have any issues with them.

Since the son has moved in it’s been a nightmare. We can’t go in the garden without him talking over the fence to us. Wouldn’t mind if it was once in a while but it’s literally every time we step outside he’s looking over.

Pretty sure he’s taking drugs or something because of the way he looks and he talks nonsense so it’s even a nice catch up conversation. He’s out in the garden for the whole day either playing loud music or talking on the phone. Hours everyday talking on the phone which is distracting even sitting in the house with the windows open.

Last night he was out in the garden until 3am talking loudly. Woke me up a couple of times. Woke my partner up walking in and out of the front door, opening and closing the garden gate, arguing with someone on the phone.

I feel we can’t enjoy the garden in the nice weather because he’s there talking rubbish and won’t leave us alone. Tried not answering, he just keeps shouting till we do. Tried short answers and walking back in the house, he’s still there the next time we go out. Obviously we can’t go out to escape the noise even either.

AIBU to ask what we can do? Speak to the neighbours? But they’re out of the country with no way of getting back so they can’t physically make him leave and he’s got a key so not sure what help that will be. And they might end up worried about their house with nothing they can do about it. Any other ideas for what I can do?

say to him "dude, what are you ON? Can't you see we don't want to talk?"

oh and tell him to turn the bloody music off.

Spell it out to him.

Contact your neighbours and let them know the exact nightmare they have landed you with.

Be polite but don't sugar coat it.

They need to know.

No point in telling them months from now.

Let them know NOW.

Be clear and firm. First time each day say you won’t be talking to him, you are enjoying your garden. Then each time say loudly and formal please stop disturbing us. Tell him the music is too loud.

If the noise is causing a nuisance at night call the police.

Contact the neighbours and explain how intrusive, loud and disrespectful their house guest is being. Be clear that he is causing you significant stress, with unacceptable noise levels night and day.

I wonder if his parents asked for this arrangement because they couldn’t live with him. I doubt it will come as a shock to your neighbours.

Thanks for the replies everyone.

We’ve tried saying we just want to sit and relax, he doesn’t listen and will start trying to talk to us again after a little while.

I haven’t been in the garden at all this week because he’s always there, there’s just no let up from it. With not being able to go out, I’d really like to just sit in the garden and read or do nothing without always feeling on edge or being bothered.

Contacting the neighbours was going to be a last resort because they’ll already be stressed not being able to get home and worrying about their health without the added worry of what their house is being used for! I will try to speak to him again directly and say we just want to be left alone in the garden and will contact them if it carries on, I can’t put up with it any longer. I feel like a prisoner in my own home!

you're being too nice I expect.

also I'd contact the neighbours and ask what he's on.

why is he even staying there, I wonder.

If anyone was disturbing me after midnight I'd be opening the window and shouting 'Shut the f*ck up!'

Take a book and he tries to talk say I'll let you get on, and I'm reading my book now anyway.

Go out there with headphones on a few times even if you're not really listening to music, and totally ignore him? But in your shoes I'd already have pointed out to him that I come out into the garden to relax in peace and quiet so I'm not up for conversation thanks, just leave it. Wonder if he smokes skunk weed. Notorious for killing motivation and brain cells resulting in hanging round all day wanting to chat shit.

Go in the garden, each time he trys to talk to you, repeat the same thing, Go away x, don't appologise or explain, jut keep saying it.
Maybe add in before you go inside, and keep the music down at night, it's too loud.

I think you need to say something, you don’t need to worry about being too nice as he’s not your actual neighbour and if your usual neighbours are usually considerate they will probably be mortified to know you are in this position.
I can totally sympathise with you as my neighbour is on her phone constantly in the garden at the moment I get woken up by it and I go to sleep still hearing it, as you say with windows open there is no escaping it, add to that her constant smoking as well 😩

@NeighbourNightmare have you fit a fence? Is he literally looking over your fence talking to you, or are the two gardens open?
This sounds line my idea of Hell!! I can’t imagine being so ignorant as he is!

Got a fence not fit a fence!

I have some real charmers renting next to me . I feel your pain .

Landlord cannot be contacted as private rental and he don't give a fuck about the people near this new trash . B'tard.

PS I am not a snob . I am a council house dweller myself but trash IS trash

Jesus contact your neighbours this is awful
And as for loud music and arguing outside at 3am 101 every time and council for noise pollution.

His parents will end up getting a lot more than a bit of grief from you if this carries on.

I also think it's worth contacting neighbours as it's their friends' son who is there.

Their friends might be able to come and remove him. Which frankly, will probably benefit your neighbours too, I wonder what condition they'll find the house in?!

Noise during the night - X name can you keep it down thanks.

Loud music - X name would you mind turning the music down or using headphones as it's pretty deafening.

Non-stop chatter - every so often, go into the garden wearing headphones. Doesn't matter if you aren't listening to anything. If he tries to talk, then pretend to notice him and remove one headphone slightly and say 'nice to see you, I'm going to chill out and relax' then put your headphone back on and ignore him.

He doesn't sound malicious - just thoughtless. And there's no point stewing in silence and hoping he gets the hint; you need to tell him!

Oh and I would contact your neighbours and say he is being really noisy and anti-social!

Just a thought, I have neighbours with Learning disabilities (as my own son does) who are exactly like this. The talking nonsense, over friendliness, not taking a hint, loud music and antisocial behaviour at hours when most people would know it’s not ok, are all very familiar.
What works with them is just clearly but firmly telling them when something is not ok, hints and waiting for them to realise really don’t work. I have to tell almost daily as well, as, for want of a better way of describing it, they don’t have any common sense and don’t seem to know they are yet again behaving inappropriately.
This may not be the case with your neighbour, but his behaviour does ring a bell.

Yes there is a fence, there’s a small wall on their side just behind the fence so he stands on that to look/shout over.

Sometimes I just want to be out for 5 minutes to hang out some washing without having to ignore someone shouting at me I don’t think headphones would work, he’d know I could still see him out of the corner of my eye and would wave instead. So it’d just be me ignoring him either way which he doesn’t seem to take the hint about either.

Talk absolute shit back and over share so he doesn't want to speak with you.

"ahhh mate I've had the worst fucking shits all day. You should've seen the colour. Bright yellow like a newborn. It's really ruined my TV viewing schedule. I only watch home and away. Do you watch home and away? My favourite. Couldn't get through 5 minutes of it though without the yellow gunge appearing. Anyway I'm going to fall asleep on the lounger now until the next bout of it starts again. Be careful not to wake me up if I start snoozing, might be the only rest I get."

And tell him to naff off with his noise in the night.

So, from a legal point of view the owners of the property are liable if they allow their premises to be used to cause a statutory nuisance. I would speak to him or write to him explaining in brief what effect his noise is having and also be clear that if it carries on you will report it to the landlord/owner. give him a week. In the meantim, write to the owner setting out the issue and informing them that they have a duty to not allow him to cause a nuisance. In the meantime keep a really good noise diary. start and stop times, level (quote song lyrics or bits of conversation when you can here them) how its heard ie with windows shut in which rooms etc. If this goes on more than a week speak to your local Env Health dept. they can still write letters and investigate. (I am an ex EHO) You could also try phoning the owners when he is in full noise mode and let them hear over the phone how disturbing he is. good luck.

This is clearly getting to you, so I think it warrants speaking to the homeowners. They are responsible.