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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask who you sleep next to?

107 replies

Porcelainskin · 25/04/2020 21:25

Have 4 month DD in my room and DH moved to the spare bed indefinitely. His choice but I encouraged. Been about 6 weeks so far and no talk from either of us of it changing. Is it very unusual or more common than I've been led to believe?

OP posts:
tinyvulture · 26/04/2020 08:26

I share with my boyfriend usually when my dd is here (two bedroomed house), tho he is a shit sleeper and I disturb him, so sometimes I will go through to sleep with DD, who is 8 and hugs me like a baby sloth!

When DD is at her dad’s (50% shared care) I usually go through and sleep in her bed to give my boyfriend a better night’s sleep. We still go to bed together, read to each other, have sex or a cuddle, but then I go through before I fall asleep. It works well for us - I was worried about it at first, but it has actually improved our relationship (his mood is better the more sleep he gets), and my counsellor told me it’s actually REALLY common - people just don’t like to admit it as they assume others will make assumptions about their (lack of) sex life - but actually (my counsellor said) there is rarely any connection between bed sharing and amount of sexual intimacy, in her opinion.

redwoodmazza · 26/04/2020 08:26

No-one. I sleep on the settee in the lounge and DH has the bed. Been like this for months now, my choice.
Hey ho...

RebelWhoWashesFor19Seconds · 26/04/2020 10:29

My husband or any of our 3 children. Sleeping arrangements in our house are like musical chairs sometimes. All our kids from 8 to teenager love a snuggle overnight with each other, DH or I.
But more often than not it's DH. We did spend a period of time after each baby was born that when he was on early shift, he would sleep in another room so he wouldn't be too tired for his 14 hours away at work the next day. But come weekend or days off he took over baby night shift and we slept together.

MysteryFrog · 26/04/2020 10:31

I usually go to sleep next to DP then wake up with all the children in the bed and DP in the spare room

HavelockVetinari · 26/04/2020 10:34

When DS was tiny DH slept in the spare room, till around 6.5 months when DS went into his own room. It was weird adjusting to sharing a bed!

Bienentrinkwasser · 26/04/2020 10:44

DH only slept in a separate room when he had a serious accident and needed the space (and snored HORRIFICALLY due to the position he had to sleep in). It was only about four months. DS was in with us until about a year but we stopped co-sleeping at 8 months.

Doggybiccys · 26/04/2020 10:45

@Pipandmum Flowers

My DC are young adults now but i made a decision before DC1 was born that they wouldn’t be in our bed. I was later having DC and had listened to friends moaning about musical beds in their homes. So either me or DH went to their room if they couldn’t sleep. When they were a bit older and sleeping fine, they still had to knock on the door and were not allowed to just walk into our bedroom - we also knocked their doors before going in.

It worked for us but I appreciate others would prefer a different system. Do what works for you but don't let intimacy be a casualty.

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