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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To regret accepting a friend request

51 replies

Bashfulbanana42 · 24/04/2020 23:29

When I was at school two brothers (not twins) were in my year. I knew one way more than the other. I see him in a local restaurant sometimes as he is the chef. I have him on facebook. His brother added me on Facebook this week and without thinking I accepted as I have many old school people on mine and it's nice to keep in touch and see what they have been up too. (early 30s)

As soon as I accepted his request I regretted it. He is with a women from school who comes from a very "hard family" they have kids together. He's doing boxing and has alot of tough people on his page. (I had a scroll through)

One thing that's bothering me is he has a few lads in common with me but none of the other females from school. I just presumed some would be on there.

The thing is now I'm worried his girlfriend will want to know why he added me. I don't know why he's added me now I've seen his page. I certainly don't want any trouble or to piss her off.

I can't really just delete him again can I? Is that rude as I have his brother on mine? I know how ridiculous this post looks. It's just I don't want any hassle. Or am I overthinking it? I'll be honest theres alot of people on his page that you wouldn't mess with. Aghhhh why did I accept. He doesn't seem to add women really which makes me worry even more

OP posts:
Fleetheart · 24/04/2020 23:31

I think you are overthinking it. Can’t you just hide his updates and then you won’t be reminded.

Somethingkindaoooo · 24/04/2020 23:32

You're overthinking this massively.

Honest, it'll be ok.

Sadie789 · 24/04/2020 23:33

Just delete him?

Bashfulbanana42 · 24/04/2020 23:34

Yes I could unfollow him couldn't I.

Thanks.

I'm thinking worst case scenario. It's just clear I'm not his type of person at all.

OP posts:
Lanurk · 24/04/2020 23:36

He’s probably been being nosey at your page and accidentally friended you 😆 either that or your settings are private and he wanted a look at your page.

Bashfulbanana42 · 24/04/2020 23:39

Yes I'm hoping it was an accident lol. He really doesn't chat to anyone I do. I just remember his girlfriend in school and everyone was terrified of her and her brother. Last thing I want is a message of her quizzing me. Maybe that's why there's a lack of women on his page because she chases them off lol. I will delete in a few days and hope I escape any grief lol.

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 24/04/2020 23:42

Just delete again, no hassle.

Candyfloss99 · 24/04/2020 23:57

You are seriously overthinking this. Delete him. Block him if you are that worried.

Mulhollandmagoo · 25/04/2020 00:02

I would just delete him, it's not rude at all! It's your Facebook you can do as you like with it, definitely don't keep him on there if it's going to make you feel anxious, spare yourself the grief and get rid, better still block him and he won't be able to find you again

SquirtleSquad · 25/04/2020 00:04

Eh? Just delete him

WorraLiberty · 25/04/2020 00:04

Massively overthinking it.

Not all girlfriends are jealous and insecure.

He probably just added you because he saw his brother's friend list and recognised you.

Klonda · 25/04/2020 00:06

Inconsequential.

Dipi79 · 25/04/2020 00:08

How old are you?! 🤦

Candyfloss99 · 25/04/2020 00:08

You automatically presume his girlfriend will be jealous of you because you are his friend on Facebook? What????

rosiepony · 25/04/2020 00:11

This happens all the time. Just unfriend and get on with your life!

Toomuchtrouble4me · 25/04/2020 00:11

his girlfriend will leave a dead 'phone in your garden and return days later to beat you up - you should move house.

lottieloop · 25/04/2020 00:12

Ah the perils of the Facebook!
It makes everything so complicated & it causes so much shit. So glad I deleted mine 6 years ago.

WorraLiberty · 25/04/2020 00:14

Facebook doesn't cause shit - people do.

RJnomore1 · 25/04/2020 00:16

Can you explain why the fact he has “done” boxing is a concern?

Lalala89 · 25/04/2020 00:20

@Toomuchtrouble4me Grin what is with the posts today!! Staying at home has caused people to go crazy.

OP. It's not a big deal and I am unsure why you are making such a big deal out of adding someone on facebook. I have alot of people on my fb from high school. Do people really go through their partners fb friends and want to know why they are there? Hmm

ChockyBicky · 25/04/2020 00:31

Just delete it if you don't know him anymore, it doesn't sound like you want to be friends with him so don't.

twirlycat77 · 25/04/2020 00:31

Just look at his friends list and see if there’s lots of other women on there. If there is, his girlfriend won’t care about an extra one.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 25/04/2020 00:35

He’s probably been being nosey at your page and accidentally friended you 😆 either that or your settings are private and he wanted a look at your page.

Am I the only one thinking that SHE might be wanting to be nosey and has put him up to it, as you've already got his brother on there as an 'in', so that she can check you out incognito - not as a perceived threat to her boyfriend but as a former schoolmate she's curious about?!

If she's just wanting a quick 'trunky' (love that word from the trampoline thread!) to see what you're up to, she might figure that, if he connects with you, she can borrow his phone, fill her boots and then move on with nothing else much in common between you and her bf; whereas if she asks you herself to be her FB friend, you might possibly (in her eyes) interpret it as an attempt to become 'besties 4evs', when she's only wanting a quick nosey and then to ignore you again.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 25/04/2020 00:38

Just look at his friends list and see if there’s lots of other women on there. If there is, his girlfriend won’t care about an extra one.

Clearly stated in the OP - she's already done that hence her concern.

SuckingDownDarjeeling · 25/04/2020 00:42

@Toomuchtrouble4me is that a thing? Confused please elaborate