WIBU to report them?

[thatmakesmehappy]

We live in a nice semi-rural area. It's a lovely community focussed village, and on the whole we get on with our neighbours well, or just ignore each other, which works well. We have 3 young kids (6,4,2y) and since lockdown have been using the garden non stop. Our garden isn't that big, and backs straight onto the house behind us.

Now onto the issue. The house behind is a young couple with 2 young kids, one must be 3ish and the other 1 and a half ish. The male of the house smokes weed in the garden. We started noticing it around November time and he does it most evenings. It didn't really bother us too much as the kids were in bed and not using the garden late at night, but since lockdown and the nice weather, and I guess he's home more at the minute, he's now doing it in the day and at night. We've had to stop using the garden and close the house up because it stinks and we don't want the kids exposed to it. It's every day now and it's driving me round the bend. I think it's inconsiderate knowing that their neighbours on every side have kids and have been using their gardens lots in this nice weather. Plus, he's smoking with their back door open so their house must stink of it too and their kids must be exposed.

Now, we have no idea what their circumstances are, if maybe he has some sort of condition what allows him to do it legally, or maybe he has a very stressful job (not sure why that would excuse him doing something illegal but some may thing that's okay) and I should mind my own beeswax.

Now onto my WIBU, WIBU to report them? Not only because it pisses me off, but also because it must also be affecting their children too? Or should I just get on with it and live and let live.

I think it would be wise to mention it- it does reek-we used to have a friend stay occasionally years ago- she smoked the bloody stuff like cigarettes-literally couldn’t seem to function without them and her partner left her in the end.If he is smoking throughout the day too in front of his kids the n he definitely has a warped view of ideal parenting

It smells very nice. YABU.

Can you not just go round and asking him to refrain from smoking while the kids are in the garden? Doubt the police will do much anyway, but if they did do you want to be the person who reported him and had him arrested in front of his young kids? I'm quite shocked that someone with such small kids smokes weed, but like you said he may have a medical condition

@heartsonacake - well I'd be interested to hear any suggestions you might have on how I can stop having night terrors, I'm sure you will have the answer that has so far eluded numerous GP's and neurologists etc.

Justanotherlurker there's lots of other reasons! Mainly the psychological effects it has on those taking it long term.
If you aren't competent to drive after smoking it, then it obviously has a strong affect on you. And yes you could say that alcohol also has those affects, but my point is I don't have to smell my neighbours bottle of wine!

Anyway, thank you to those who gave constructive responses. I do appreciate it and I think I will go and speak to him tomorrow and then go from there.

Those of you who decided to be insulting because I don't agree that I should have to experience his illegal drug taking, should take a good look in the mirror. This wasn't a debate on whether or not drugs should be illegal, I wanted opinions on whether or not I should report them. The overriding opinion is that I should talk to them first, so I will. If that doesn't work, then I will report them, even if the police won't do anything.

Maybe they can get an anonymous letter through the post from a concerned neighbour explaining that there are kids in gardens all around the house who are being exposed to somethingthey shouldnt?
You could see if he would stop smoking during the day or continue and then proceed from there?

Is your garden more like a small yard area? I can't imagine how the smell would travel from his garden all the way into your house otherwise. There is a lot of smoking goes on around our local station (in 'normal' times, not now obviously) but you can't smell it unless you're within about 15-20ft

Maybe because countries are starting to legalise it, and the only response some have is that it is illegal.

Smoking isn't illegal. You know that right? Doesn't stop smokers being ripped to pieces and told the smell and its disgusting. Not sure why we should be all for it, just because it may become legal 🤔

Anyway. As people have said, the police probably won't do much op.
I don't like drugs much, but then, having a family full of drug takers, junkies and alcoholics, my feelings may be a bit out of proportion for this situation.

I'd normally say live and let live, but I also had an issue with weed smoke. Even ignoring the smell and what not, the main issue was that it was giving me headaches,no idea what effect if any it had on DD as she was too little.So my options were stay in all summer with windows shut(and the smell still got in sometimes), get awful headaches or talk to someone.
I chose the last one and I don't regret it.

PrincessConsuela I have actually had terrible headaches that I couldn't work out the cause of over the last few weeks, and now you've said that they do seem to come on in the middle of the day about when the smell starts! I think I will pop round tomorrow and explain. 🤞🏻

Justanotherlurker

www.ox.ac.uk/news/2014-07-16-how-cannabis-causes-paranoia#

www.health.harvard.edu/blog/teens-who-smoke-pot-at-risk-for-later-schizophrenia-psychosis-201103071676

www.nhs.uk/news/mental-health/teenage-cannabis-use-linked-depression-later-life/

I wish people would stop this attitude that drugs are OK. They are mind altering and some(possibly all?) of them (alcohol absolutely included) have been shown to have negative effects on the brain.

As for the point of the thread OP I would ask them to avoid it during the day as the smell is quite strong. If they are reasonable I can't see how they would object. I wouldn't report unless the situation gets worse. If they are doing it more often after you ask them to stop or deliberately nearer to your garden then I would report as anti social behaviour.

The only thing about encouraging him to smoke it indoors in the day is that if he then does it around the baby that could be dangerous. Smoking when the DC are in bed seems more appropriate.

weed is not heroin it's the starter drug though and a very dangerous one at that. If it was me I'd be reporting it pronto. Seen too many lives ruined.

Is it even illegal to smoke it? Or is it just illegal to buy/sell it? I don't think the police would care, or the smokers would be bothered if you say you are going to the police. I think your kids will be fine.

Ok a quick Google says it is illegal, so your call.

OP you're right. It's illegal, inconsiderate and selfish.

I would tackle it a different way. I would report them and then if nothing is done then you can have a word saying about kids using garden etc. But if you have a chat first THEN report, they will know it's you.

If the police in your area will do something then I would report it. If not, have a word yourself but be prepared that he won't change. If he doesn't mind doing it around his own kids why would he care that you are concerned about the smell affecting yours?

I wouldn't like it either, it stinks.

I feel for you op. Before we moved the house opposite us was the same - the smell was really strong and lingered quite a long time after the guy had finished smoking. It is really unpleasant - when I was pregnant it set off sickness terribly.

The person smoking it won’t realise - my mil smokes a few cigarettes a day and thinks it doesn’t smell because she smokes in the kitchen . In reality everything stinks - it clings to your hair when your there I can only imagine her sense of smell is totally gone! Love my MIL but wash everything that goes into her house!

This site beggars belief sometimes. Of course the OP isn't being unreasonable in not wanting to smell weed all day whilst in her garden or house and have her children exposed to it too.
I wonder how many of these people who don't have a problem with it would be the same in a real life discussion or if they just have this opinion hidden behind their phone or device.

It isn't illegal to take drugs in the UK. It's illegal to be in possession of them. That's the finer point of the law. You can actually do what you like to your own body.

OP and @heartsonacake if you lived in Canada, Georgia, South Africa, Uruguay, Portugal, eleven states of the USA including Colorado and California, or the Netherlands you would find that your high horse was firmly locked in the stable and that your moralizing about gateway drugs completely unsupported by the highest authorities in the land. Many more countries than these have legalised cannabis for medical use. And it's spreading. I think in ten years time it will be mainstream medicine and we will be looking at it being legal for recreation here too. Don't forget how Theresa May's husband makes his living.

I really dislike the smell of weed and I also have next door neighbours who over indulge and stink my garden and house out. It's horrible. But this is just anti social behaviour, not a sign of "low morals" - what a horrible accusation to level at anyone. I like my neighbours as people and although I relish the times when they have run out of weed, I wouldn't dream of being so petty as to try to tell tales about them to the police.

I could point out at least fifty people I know (of all classes) who enjoy a joint from time to time and have done for decades, with no signs yet of them reaching for the hypodermic needles for a bit of a boost.

I tend to find it's people who haven't been around or experienced cannabis in any social way that kick off about addiction and Social Services.

I don't like it, smoked it twice thirty years ago and wasn't drawn to it at all. I'm appalled at the strength of the products in the market now, but if it didn't have any scent you wouldn't know about it and I don't think you'd be so bothered either.

Well this is a depressing thread. I hate my lb being exposed to weed smoking. It's incredibly antisocial if the people around you don't like the smell.
But it's true that the police won't care. Especially at the moment. It's keeping people indoors and calm.

I do feel for you Op , I hate the smell. My dd and her boyfriend smoke it , the smell clings to their clothes and my house stunk. Is there any way that it can be made less smelly?