WIBU to report them?

[thatmakesmehappy]

We live in a nice semi-rural area. It's a lovely community focussed village, and on the whole we get on with our neighbours well, or just ignore each other, which works well. We have 3 young kids (6,4,2y) and since lockdown have been using the garden non stop. Our garden isn't that big, and backs straight onto the house behind us.

Now onto the issue. The house behind is a young couple with 2 young kids, one must be 3ish and the other 1 and a half ish. The male of the house smokes weed in the garden. We started noticing it around November time and he does it most evenings. It didn't really bother us too much as the kids were in bed and not using the garden late at night, but since lockdown and the nice weather, and I guess he's home more at the minute, he's now doing it in the day and at night. We've had to stop using the garden and close the house up because it stinks and we don't want the kids exposed to it. It's every day now and it's driving me round the bend. I think it's inconsiderate knowing that their neighbours on every side have kids and have been using their gardens lots in this nice weather. Plus, he's smoking with their back door open so their house must stink of it too and their kids must be exposed.

Now, we have no idea what their circumstances are, if maybe he has some sort of condition what allows him to do it legally, or maybe he has a very stressful job (not sure why that would excuse him doing something illegal but some may thing that's okay) and I should mind my own beeswax.

Now onto my WIBU, WIBU to report them? Not only because it pisses me off, but also because it must also be affecting their children too? Or should I just get on with it and live and let live.

It's literally just a plant

Um... so is opium But it has pretty flowers so it must be OK too, right?

Report them to who and for what? Smoking? Would you report them for smoking a cigarette which is more harmful? Just live your life and let them live theirs

Yep ok, a spliff is the same as heroin.

I don't have low morals thank you very much

Picklypickles You’re taking an illegal drug. Anyone taking an illegal drug has low morals regardless of whatever excuse they’re using to take it.

It’s fine, OP. Drugs are cool as long as it’s the middle-class kind.

Is it the middle class kind?

If he’s smoking it in grey trackies and white trainers, please call the police.

I agree that the police are unlikely to do much though OP, and in any case I think vicious’s approach of having a quick word with your neighbour would be the best approach. You have every right to object to what they’re doing though, it’s their business if they want to do it behind closed doors but quite another thing to inflict it on others.

Yep ok, a spliff is the same as heroin.

No, I didn’t say that. I simply think the “just a plant” argument is flawed, sorry!

@heartsonacake - it must be nice to be able to afford those fancy morals of yours. Any idea what its like to wake in utter terror and confusion several times a night for years of your life? To have a terror of falling asleep because your parent threatened to beat you to death with a baseball bat if it happened again? To lose jobs because you're a sleep-deprived zombie? I found something that works and I'm sticking with it.

Is it really any worse than the huge amount of people that drink a bottle of wine with kids about? At least he's doing it in the garden, not enclosed in the house around his kids.

No, but MN has built its brand on being the 21st century version Mary Whitehouse, with the added lockdown some are having to squint to find some outrage that keeps them ticking on.

This thread not under lockdown would have taken a whole other stance

No, I didn’t say that. I simply think the “just a plant” argument is flawed, sorry!

Not OP

So why is it flawed?

I really would expect the police fo be interested I someone exposing children to illegal drugs. Report them.

Picklypickles Everyone’s got problems. It is never a solution to take illegal drugs no matter what you try to tell yourself.

I didn't say it's just a plant. I just noted you comparing it to opium/heroin.

Weed is not heroin.

I really would expect the police fo be interested I someone exposing children to illegal drugs.

Police have downgraded cannabis for over a decade, countries are making it legal, it isn't as though he his smoking indoors with kids.

What are the neighbours like? If it was about something else would you think they were approachable?

I don't mind the smell, I prefer it to cigarettes which my neighbour smokes 🙄

Where do your average adults get it from anyway?

Maybe your kids in the garden all the time since lockdown is getting to him OP

But its all about you .

My neighbour smokes weed and the smell does bother me sometimes especially if the wind blows it up into my sons bedroom.
The smell from cigarettes would bother me just as much really.
I cant stand the bloke for other reasons and hes almost definitely wearing grey trackies and white trainers while hes smoking it, its never occured to me to report it, to who exactly?

Whentherabbitswentwild the difference is, my kids being in the garden isn't illegal! And my exposing my neighbours to children laughing isn't exposing other people to an illegal substance

I really am shocked at the fact that so many of you think it's okay to expose children, not just mine but their own, to drugs! I genuinely hope that those of you thinking it's okay, or who are admitting to doing it yourselves, don't have or work with children! If you do, I feel sorry for them!

I'm by no means uptight or whatever you want to label me as but the fact is, I wasn't fussed when it was late at night, but in the middle of the day it's unacceptable to fill peoples homes with the smell of illegal substances! He shouldn't be doing it to his own kids and why should I have it in my house!

I don’t think you’re over reacting. It stinks and everyone I’ve ever met who’s a regular user was a bit of a twat.

I really am shocked at the fact that so many of you think it's okay to expose children, not just mine but their own, to drugs! I genuinely hope that those of you thinking it's okay, or who are admitting to doing it yourselves, don't have or work with children! If you do, I feel sorry for them!

So what did Social Services say when you reported that you were very worried about their kids being exposed to illegal drugs?

Or were you not quite worried enough about them to ring?

Is it really any worse than the huge amount of people that drink a bottle of wine with kids about? At least he's doing it in the garden, not enclosed in the house around his kids.
@CCaK a bottle of wine doesn't tend to waft over the fence and annoy other people does it? To be honest, I'd be almost as annoyed if it was tobacco though unfortunately tobacco is legal so there would be nothing I could do about it beyond asking nicely.

But surely he's not out in the garden smoking joints 24/7? Is it just a couple a day?

I doubt him smoking outside his house in the open air is damaging your children.

Many children are exposed in cities to constant cigarette smoke/vehicle pollution/air pollution.

If you're concerned about your children's health being impacted by someone smoking a spliff a day from several metres away then I think you can relax.

Worra good point, maybe I'll give them a call in the morning!

Funny, when there's a thread about people smoking, the smokers get ripped to shreds on here. Mention a bit of grass and everyone's all for it, and insisting you leave them alone and maybe try it yourself to chill you out 😂

Mention a bit of grass and everyone's all for it, and insisting you leave them alone and maybe try it yourself to chill you out

Maybe because countries are starting to legalise it, and the only response some have is that it is illegal.