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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be so bored of my lifelong weight battle

57 replies

littleblackdress04 · 24/04/2020 10:33

I have a happy weight but it’s an absolute daily battle to stay at it. I am 5’7 and my ideal weight is probably 10 1/2 stone, I am happy hovering around 11 stone and since the lockdown I am now 11,11 and so fed up! I eat really healthily, track on an app, exercise every other day (running, Joe wicks etc) and barely drink. I am perimenopausal which is probably a factor in this as seem to be running to stand still at the moment- I am 47.

I am SO utterly sick of it - bored of it- I want to stay a size 12 as it’s what I have been all my life. I got to 11 stone last year by doing fast 800 and felt really great, the best in years but now since being cooped up, it’s all gone back on and it’s not shifting. It’s making me so fed up! Aibu? Any thoughts? I track everything & try to follow a Mediterranean diet too! Is it mid life kicking in?

OP posts:
littleblackdress04 · 24/04/2020 10:38

And I know I am fixating on ‘weight’ a bit but I feel heavy!

OP posts:
NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 24/04/2020 10:40

I feel your pain. I'm 53 and possibly post menopausal, but not sure (due to Mirena) Blush

I need to keep my weight constant in order to compete in my events. I weigh everything, I track everything. If I don't, the weight will go up and my chances of a decent performance will go down.

I've come to the realisation that this is what it takes and, although it's tough, it doesn't make me miserable (as a large number of people would have you believe).

I do wish that I could eat more and maintain my weight. But I can't. And I think that I've got to grips with it Blush

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 24/04/2020 10:42

I'm fixating on my weight too @littleblackdress04

I have to in order to keep it under control. I know from previous conversations on here that it's not seen as a good thing to do. But I have goals and I need to do it.

Bounceyflouncey · 24/04/2020 10:42

Same, I was always overweight growing up, yp-yo dieted for a few years, managed to lose it whilst at uni and sustain a healthy weight until having DC where I got up to nearly 17 stone. It took a year to get down to 11 and put me in the healthy bracket, and unless I exercise most days and count every single boring bloody calorie it goes straight back on.

littleblackdress04 · 24/04/2020 10:46

It’s like if I look at a carb, next day I have put on 4lbs! It’s so dull and it’s really getting me down at the moment!

OP posts:
TheListeners · 24/04/2020 10:51

Have you read the obesity code? For me it really explained why we gain weight. Exercise has very little to do with it. I would try intermittent fasting and low carb. I know ideally we would be able to eat whatever and it's frustrating when other people seemingly stay at a perfect weight with little or no effort.

thenewaveragebear1983 · 24/04/2020 10:51

Blood sugar diet and fast800 support thread #18 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/fasting_diet/3844481-blood-sugar-diet-and-fast800-support-thread-18

Come back and join us on our fast800 thread. There's lots of us, all at different stages and some of us are struggling too right now, but there's lots of support and ideas. When I lost weight doing low carb it was the only time in my life I felt 'free' of diets because i simply didn't even want the things that cause me to constantly 'fall off the wagon'.

Thelaughinggnome123 · 24/04/2020 10:52

Try low carbing, honestly i wasn't overweight but I was constantly dieting to keep slim. I low Carb and OMG it is amazing i dont have that constant want to eat.
I do eat about 80 gms of carbs a day but that includes loads of veg, try it.

littleblackdress04 · 24/04/2020 10:54

Thanks @thenewaveragebear1983 I might join in again- fast 800 was the only thing that has ever really worked for me- 5:2 made me really constipated whereas with fast 800 I found I could eat 3 small meals a day & keep energy, avoid constipation & live a normal life. I have started to do a few days a week again but it’s not worked so probably need to be strict again

OP posts:
AgeLikeWine · 24/04/2020 10:56

You are normal, OP.

It’s an unfortunate fact of life that for most of us maintaining a healthy weight gets harder as we get older and our muscle mass decreases.

Lockdown makes it harder as we are less active, even if we try to exercise within guidelines.

It’s a real struggle for me, too and I find the only thing which works is being very, very disciplined during the working week (no booze, no puddings, cakes, biscuits etc, minimal carbs) then eating & drinking what I want at weekends.

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 24/04/2020 11:00

It’s an unfortunate fact of life that for most of us maintaining a healthy weight gets harder as we get older and our muscle mass decreases.

My muscle mass is increasing; it's still difficult Grin

Wavey123 · 24/04/2020 11:00

I’m the same height as you and at my most fit, I was 10.5, but this was about 10 years ago now and when carrying hardly any fat, I don’t think it would have been easy to lose much more than that. Right now I am 12.5 and would be happy to be 11 something. Since lockdown though I’ve been pretty good with eating well, I think a lot of the weight gain is due to eating badly at work and getting something fast and unhealthy on lunch breaks, eating at home and having time to make something healthy makes a big difference. Also not eating out once a week is helping.

I’ve been tracking how much I move and making sure I exercise enough, I think the difference maker though is 70% what you eat and 30% how much you exercise, I’ve started to notice the difference in the last week. I can understand why people are struggling at the moment though and think a lot of it is due to boredom, try andmake the most of your daily walk

foodandwine89 · 24/04/2020 11:00

There is not a time in my life I can remember where I wasn't thinking about weight. Ever.

Even when I was 6, I remember my grandma putting the jam jars up on a high shelf so I couldn't have too much and get fat. Sigh.

AnotherMurkyDay · 24/04/2020 11:01

Stop having a weight battle. Eat healthily and mindfully, everything in moderation, do as much exercise as you can but to nourish not punish your body. And look at what's going on psychologically. Stress, poor sleep, emotional eating, all have a massive impact. It would be lovely to think it's a simple formula of calories in vs calories out, but whether you can lose weight has a lot more to do with mind set than that. Are you getting all the vitamins and nutrients you need? Are you feeding your soul the food it needs (love, music, joy, art, meditation, religion, etc.) there's nothing worse than being an unhappy yo-yo dieter. The obsession that target weight will some how cure all. And when you reach it and it doesn't, you give in to old habits again. Deal with the unhappiness and the old habits and your weight should fall in to place.

Elieza · 24/04/2020 11:02

Damn female hormones, grrrr

KathyGeiss · 24/04/2020 11:05

I am very similar weight and height, right down to my happy weight and current weight. Like you I am so bloody bored of this lifelong battle. Can I be the one to say though that there must be other lifelong weight battlers who would love to have your stats and who envy your figure? You are within the realms of a healthy weight range, BMI and presumably within the realms of being able to wear most things.
Sorry if that's unhelpful. I know I don't necessarily see it this way myself (I'm a inch or two shorter though and a few years younger, and I'm finding it harder as the years go on).
To lose a pound or two I do calorie counting from time to time. I have more or less accepted that I'll to and fro around 10.5/11 stone forever*. I would LOVE to see myself at 9 stone, I would LOVE to eat what I want. But it's not likely.
(*I can live with this)

Isitgiroday · 24/04/2020 11:08

Sounds very familiar OP - I'm 5"7', 43, prematurely menopausal and currently 12st! Normally happy around 11st but still haven't lost the last bit of, ahem, baby weight (baby is now 16 months!) and just feel rotten.

Have a dodgy hip post pregnancy so unable to to usual amount of exercise. Tried low carbs last year - worked well but expensive and did not suit my digestive system. Reluctantly started slimming world (not really my bag) few weeks before lockdown and lost 7lbs really easily. Got back on it yesterday. I was amazed when I first tried it how much I could eat. Just need to halt the compulsive lockdown baking and I'll be sorted...

Good luck!

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 24/04/2020 11:09

Stop having a weight battle

Unfortunately, I can't. I want to compete and the body fat has to be ridiculously low at competition time for me to be in decent shape.

It really just is how it is. Like I said, it's tough but I'm not downright miserable with it Smile

doodleygirl · 24/04/2020 11:13

Maybe throw away the scales and concentrate on how you feel in your clothes.

I have no clue what I weigh, been a size 10 most of my life, I’m now 56. I am a heathy eater, although my weakness is crisps. I drink wine and generally believe in eat what you want in moderation.

I mix up my exercise, weights, boxing, hit, probably an hour a day 6 days a week. I’m doing more in lockdown, I have a stand up desk at work and generally move a lot. I’m not a big sitter down and I really think that is the key.

Good luck, I hope you find something that works.

Qgardens · 24/04/2020 11:13

Deal with the unhappiness and the old habits and your weight should fall in to place.

I'm happy, always have been- but I'm still overweight..

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 24/04/2020 11:18

Deal with the unhappiness and the old habits and your weight should fall in to place.

I'm not unhappy, don't have any bad eating habits and I'm not overweight.

My weight/body fat are where I need them to be. I'm happy. It jsut takes a bit of doing, tis all.

Kingcole · 24/04/2020 11:22

Yes. If I eat carbs my weight shoots up. I am trying hard to limit them at the moment and to do a bit of exercise. Am am 5,6inch and 10.11stone atm Sad. 9.5 would be perfect.

lemontreebird · 24/04/2020 11:31

It’s an unfortunate fact of life that for most of us maintaining a healthy weight gets harder as we get older and our muscle mass decreases.

Maybe so. However I'm 'older' and my muscle mass is increasing...

Eazylife79 · 24/04/2020 11:36

I'm the same, I'm 11 stone & would love to be 9 & a half. I've got to my goal weight before through Slimming World but you be honest I think that messed with my metabolism altogether & gave me a bad relationship with food. I love my wine & takeaways at the weekends & chocolate in the evenings, I know that all I have to do is give them up but I just don't want to during the lockdown. I eat really healthy all week & then binge at the weekend because I feel deprived. I can't find a healthy balance

littleblackdress04 · 24/04/2020 11:39

Thanks for all your comments - it’s reassuring to know I am not alone in feeling like this. I think lockdown making it a lot harder as I am definitely emotional eating Rio out of boredom etc!

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