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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Extend paid maternity leave for 3 months because of the virus

118 replies

AmazingGrace16 · 23/04/2020 21:25

There is currently a petition for maternity leave to be extended by 3 months (paid) so that those who have missed out on their mummy play dates and lattes can have time to do this.

Aibu or is it an awful,selfish idea?!

It's got over 100k signatures so it's going to be discussed with a response.

Yabu- it's a brilliant idea
Yanbu-it's a terrible idea

OP posts:

ScreamedAtTheMichelangelo · 24/04/2020 09:55

Non-starter for me, but I'd also be really upset if parents were all given an additional paid break to make up for the fact that they've been WFH whilst caring for children. I'm one of the few childless people in my team and I'm doing additional hours to accommodate the parents who can't, so I'd feel quite chagrined if I had to also accommodate a 3 month break for the same people...

tootiredtoconga · 24/04/2020 10:13

I really hate this mentality of "something in my life hasn't gone to plan so someone needs to make it up to me because it's not fair!"

Yes, it's a shame for women on maternity leave. But it's also a shame for parents trying to juggle WFH with childcare. It's a shame for people living alone. It's a shame for people who don't have a garden. It's a shame for kids who can't go to school. It's a shame for grandparents who can't see their grandchildren. The current situation isn't fair to anyone, it's just wall to wall shit. But that doesn't mean that everyone who is having a rough time can or should he compensated financially!

Mammyloveswine · 24/04/2020 10:32

It's ridiculous!

Someone I know was off throughout her pregnancy, with holidays has had another 14 months off and has just shared this... she hasn't been to work for 2 years she has had near enough full pay! Honestly the entitlement of some people never fails to astound me!

Crunchymum · 24/04/2020 10:37

@ScreamedAtTheMichelangelo

As a WFH parent of 3, I'll be running out the door the moment lockdown allows. I don't want to spend an extra second at home, with my kids (in the nicest possible way of course )

However, I have cancelled my booked annual leave (April, May and June) as there seems no point taking it when I'm home and unable to do anything. All employees have been able to cancel AL, regardless of their parental status.

TriangleBingoBongo · 24/04/2020 10:41

@MangoM

Is it not a bit naive to expect working from home on full pay will be a breeze 🤔

I’m WFH with a 12 month old. I have to time record. No inverted commas here. It’s fresh he’ll.

TriangleBingoBongo · 24/04/2020 10:41

Hell sorry autocorrect!

ScreamedAtTheMichelangelo · 24/04/2020 10:44

@Crunchymum Yes, sorry, my comment wasn't clear. I was responding to a couple of posts on this thread which suggest that if anyone is getting a 3 month break from work, fully paid, it should be people currently working and doing childcare. I wouldn't be happy at having to up my hours again to cover 75% of my coworkers getting a 3 month holiday...

ElizaCrouch · 24/04/2020 10:47

I'd like 3 months off too. But no I'm not going to get it and I see no reason why they should either.

ivfbabymomma1 · 24/04/2020 10:48

I was due to go back to work this week off maternity! And I think it's a terrible idea! I have bonded with my baby more than ever not being able to leave the house. Can't speak for everyone but I would decline this and go back to work should it be offered! Which it never will.

Amicompletelyinsane · 24/04/2020 10:48

My child was in hospital for the first 3 months of their life. I didn't get any extra maternity. I don't see how they feel they require extra. Not like they were the only ones shut in going no where

IndecentFeminist · 24/04/2020 10:52

My maternity leaves wouldn't really have looked any different if we'd been under lockdown tbh. Apart from the last one, as we couldn't have done the older kids' home ed groups.

Bobsandbitz · 24/04/2020 10:56

What a load of shite!
Selfish indeed. Anyone thinking this is a fair (or necessary) thing to do now is being unreasonable!
Missing out on mummy lattes.... my arse! I think my eyes have just done a 360 degree roll!!!

Curiosity101 · 24/04/2020 10:58

Considering there is no extension (paid or otherwise) to parents of premature babies who spend many weeks/months in NICU this petition really bugs me.

Mia1415 · 24/04/2020 10:59

Absolutely ridiculous. I only took 6 months maternity leave, and I can assure you that missing out on play dates did me or my DS no lasting harm

And the last 3 months isn't paid anyway!

Ineedcoffee2345 · 24/04/2020 10:59

Currently on mat leave, i do feel my baby has missed out on things her bis sister had. Not me. Its also upsetting she hasnt formed a bond with any family members etc but im not expecting or wanting an extra 3 months leave

Savingshoes · 24/04/2020 10:59

This is a great idea! It's stat mat from what I can tell and if the government is providing financial support through furlough etc, this isn't much of an ask.
Can't introduce your newborn to their grandparents, can't build up local social network to help when you need to go back to work, child can't make new friends and in some areas, birth partners is unable to support labouring woman meaning they do this surrounded by strangers.

MoonBabysMagicalKalimba · 24/04/2020 11:01

I think it’s a ridiculous, selfish petition.

I was on mat leave this time last year, with a 6 month old. Now I’m attempting to work 30hours a week from home with an 18month old, DH is a key worker so he is working outside of the home.

Being on mat leave with this going on would have been an absolute piece of piss compared to what I’m trying (and failing) to do right now, parent a demanding toddler alone whilst simultaneously trying to complete all my work hours.

So some people can’t go to baby groups? Boo fucking hoo. Being stuck at home is awful for everybody, but those who only have to worry about caring for a small baby have it easier than those trying to work, or homeschooling older children.

Also, I read an article the other day (I don’t know how reliable it was though!) saying that in the last 6 weeks, newborns have regained their lost weight at a much quicker rate than they have been for a long time. It was attributed to the fact that mothers are home all the time and can properly focus on breastfeeding, without feeling they should be going out all over the place and having endless visitors traipsing through their door expecting cups of tea, baby cuddles and biscuits. Covid 19 aside, I think this can only be a good thing.

doodleygirl · 24/04/2020 11:02

Who would pay? My Company will be lucky to survive. This is an idea put together by entitled fuckwits.

Motherofademon · 24/04/2020 11:20

YANBU my baby was born at 25 weeks and I've taken a full year but 3 months of that was spent in the hospital I didn't get the option of getting an extra 3 months paid or unpaid for what I think is an extremely valid reason. So for these women whining because they have to stay inside their homes with their child is ridiculous. You don't need an extra 3 months off paid, they aren't exactly spending much money at home and most of them would be home anyway.

ThrowingGoodAfterBad · 24/04/2020 11:28

There's already been a thread on this. Not only is it bloody stupid, I worry that it's selfish mindlessness like this which give all women a bad name and can seriously set women's rights back.
If there was a legitimate bad consequence of Covid on maternity leave, such as it was being used as an excuse to make women returning unemployed, then that's one thing. Basically saying that I didn't get the full experience and haven't played with my friends enough - which is what the waffle about the babies not playing actually means - is just trivial empty-headed short-term selfish entitlement with no thought for the consequences at all. I could probably find a bit more description if I had longer to think about it.
We need maternity leave: we need an acceptance that children are a necessary and natural product, and an acceptance that someone is going to have to look after them. That results in economic damage to the person looking after them, at exactly the time when they need more economic support, so some kind of leave and support back into the workforce is vital.

stickman12 · 24/04/2020 11:30

I've seen this and personally think it's bonkers. Maternity leave is to enable you to care for your baby, which you've still been able to do. The world has bigger problems than funding women to go to baby groups

ThrowingGoodAfterBad · 24/04/2020 11:30

Savingshoes the only real practical concern you've listed is about birth partners not being able to support women in labour: and that has nothing whatsoever to do with maternity leave!

MangoM · 24/04/2020 11:33

@TriangleBingoBongo
I apologise. I genuinely don't believe it will be ready and have already started exploring options for how to manage working full time when I return in July with no childcare. I expect I'll be working very long days at the weekend to get most of my core hours in (while husband can look after DS) and will also need to fit in as many hours as possible during the week.

I fully expect it to be difficult but I'm confident I can find a way to make it work.

ReadilyAvailable · 24/04/2020 11:41

I don’t support the petition, but I can imagine that, if people can’t return to their jobs properly, extending maternity/parental leave rather than furloughing workers would be a cheaper option for the government. That’s only because SMP is a pittance, and likely to be less than 80% of many people’s salaries. But I don’t know why anyone would want to accept extended SMP instead of being furloughed for exactly the same reason.

I’m not sure anyone’s heart bleeds because someone didn’t get to go to costa with their friends. No one can do that right now anyway.

TriangleBingoBongo · 24/04/2020 11:42

That’s what I’m doing mango. But like this morning DH left at 7, DS up at 5. Working during naps and when DH gets in but at that point I’ve been up 13 hours already. No family time and feel like I’m flicking inbetween DS and my laptop all day.

First couple of weeks it was ok. I’m running out of steam now and craving some time to relax with DH.

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