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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Extend paid maternity leave for 3 months because of the virus

118 replies

AmazingGrace16 · 23/04/2020 21:25

There is currently a petition for maternity leave to be extended by 3 months (paid) so that those who have missed out on their mummy play dates and lattes can have time to do this.

Aibu or is it an awful,selfish idea?!

It's got over 100k signatures so it's going to be discussed with a response.

Yabu- it's a brilliant idea
Yanbu-it's a terrible idea

OP posts:
Peppafrig · 24/04/2020 07:13

@stopchewingeverything that just puts her in the same position as all the other parents who have lost their childcare when nurseries and schools shut.

SoupDragon · 24/04/2020 07:23

It's a terrible idea.

They are at home with their baby, which is what it's for. It isn't for massage classes and baby rhyme time.

CaptainMerica · 24/04/2020 07:47

I have been thinking lately how lock down feels just like maternity leave anyway (despite the fact I'm still WFH usual hours). Mainly the way the world completely changed over night, and the odd combination of isolation and not having a second on your own. A strange mix of slightly negative feelings, mixed with all the lovely positives of spending more time in the house with the DC. It just all feels quite familiar.

Obviously, the petition is ridiculous. There is no difference between the people returning from maternity leave, and all the people currently WFH with young kids in front of TVs or strapped in a buggy next to the desk. And there is always the option to extend it with unpaid parental leave.

It would be annoying though. I felt cheated enough that the weather was shit during the summer of my first maternity leave. It's a lovely opportunity, and a once in a lifetime chance really (2nd+ babies having the added workload of the first DC to stop you getting to as many groups etc). It's nice to feel like you made the most of it. There are bigger problems in the world, but it is a bit sad for people missing out on meeting new friends and visiting family.

nakedavengerreturns · 24/04/2020 07:53

Really? Already had a paid for holiday and now want more? No.

KitKat1985 · 24/04/2020 07:53

Totally agree OP. Utterly selfish petition. The economy is going to be wrecked, thousands more will end up jobless and / or losing their homes, the NHS cost for this will be billions, thousands more will have lost loved ones, and cases of domestic and child abuse are expected to soar during lockdown. And some self-obsessed petition signers think the best use of taxpayers money at this time is to fund them going to baby groups and nice walks for a few extra weeks. Do they not think that everyone else on the planet has missed out on things too the past few weeks? The irony of it all is babies will be the group mostly unaffected by lockdown. It's not like a 6 month old is going to miss the park or wonder where their friends are, and all that baby group 'mental stimulation' rubbish is completely unnecessary when we know that most babies will be entertained for ages with a few simple toys.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 24/04/2020 07:54

Voted wrong as usually one would choose YABU but you appeared to have switched it for some reason

BullshitVivienne · 24/04/2020 07:56

Also on mat leave and find this ridiculous too. We'd be screwed as we are both key workers and nursery is closed. I'm incredibly lucky to be on maternity leave so we're not having to worry about taking unpaid leave.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 24/04/2020 07:59

OP you asked how you have done the voting wrong

With your question (statement) to disagree it would usually be YABU
You have YABU for agreeing with you and YANBU for not agreeing
Wrong way round .

Starlight1243 · 24/04/2020 08:01

I thought it was ridiculous some countries barely get any mat leave and america get none.

Extend paid maternity leave for 3 months because of the virus
SoupDragon · 24/04/2020 08:22

With your question (statement) to disagree it would usually be YABU

No, because her question was Aibu or is it an awful,selfish idea?!. It's a little ambiguous but I read it as "AIBU to think it's an awful, selfish idea?". Her "how to vote" confirms this.

ChipsAreLife · 24/04/2020 08:37

This seems so self indulgent amongst all the other problems people are facing. Having cancer treatment cancelled etc.

I will be having maybe 3 months mat leave. DH work has completely stopped and won't start until next year I expect and we are both self employed over the threshold so entitled to absolutely no help. So I've no choice but to go back I would love a year off. Going to baby yoga is the least of my worries.

To the pp who said her friend can't get her child into nursery and can't work, this is a problem faced by many people. She needs to talk to employer as I believe she can asked to be furloughed.

EasyPleasey · 24/04/2020 08:45

Yanbu it is a very selfish idea. Maternity leave is for mum and baby to recover, establish breastfeeding if they want to. They can do all those things in lockdown.

dottiedodah · 24/04/2020 08:56

Going against the grain here ,but I think this is a terrific idea! It must be difficult having a baby in these circumstances, and a little bit of extra time to adjust to normal life with Babe would be good for new Mums I think .

LaurieMarlow · 24/04/2020 09:04

so that those who have missed out on their mummy play dates and lattes can have time to do this

Is this bit for fucking real? Hmm

Saladaysior · 24/04/2020 09:05

Jeez I’ve heard it all now. The U.K. already has up to a whole year ML and the purpose of it is has fuck all to do with ‘mummy dates’ Quite frankly for those of us who lived through the era of 12 weeks ML and bugger all paternity, this is a total joke. As I’m sure it is for most women having babies now anyway. You’re at home with your child. You have technology to chat, have coffee etc with other mums anyway. You can get out for a walk in the sunshine every day. You may even have your partner working at home which gives you more family time without commutes than you’d normally have.

I can only imagine anyone signing this petition is massively selfish and entitled and thinks having a child is all about coffees and lunches with a bunch of other privileged women. Get real.

Couchbettato · 24/04/2020 09:15

I'm on the fence about this. I'm due back in 2 weeks. I've been isolated any way for pretty much 12 month, and now I'm isolating again and my mental health is dreadful. But the thing is that the services my GP can refer me to are all backed up. On top of that, I'm transitioning into going back to the workplace in a pandemic with no childcare which is giving me work related stress and anxiety, and I feel like I might end up signed off anyway. I can't imagine I'm the only one feeling like this. My one salvation in my maternity leave was my Tuesday support group because I got to talk to real people honestly about how gruelling it is sometimes.

But the way they've worded it just makes people sound pathetic. I do hope its considered, obviously won't be before I go back to work so it's not really a benefit to me anyway. But there would be benefits to some more time off for those coming to the end of their maternity leave right now and all of their childcare plans having been thrown up in the air.

Not doing so may cost workplaces or the NHS resources any way when there's a drastic increase in people suffering from mental health issues.

Saladaysior · 24/04/2020 09:27

Frankly, I would rather govt funds go towards NHS equipment, giving NHS workers a payrise, helping out businesses which are struggling to survive, giving extra support to retail workers, helping out care homes... there are literally hundreds of things that should be prioritised above giving people who are on ML another 3 months on top of what they already get.

We’re all at risk of our mental health being impacted by the current situation and tbh I imagine anyone still having to go to work, particularly front line health workers but anyone who is still having to go to work, are more at risk than most. It’s not like they can ‘let off steam’ or relax among friends - they are suffering all the disadvantages of lockdown while not getting any of the benefits of being able to stay in the safety of their home.

Honestly the selfishness of this idea is astounding. Can people really not see that there are way higher priorities that are about protecting everyone?

MangoM · 24/04/2020 09:29

Absolutely ridiculous and selfish.

I'm due to finish maternity leave in 3 months and yes we can't go out to baby groups, etc but I'm grateful that we're safe and still able to spend that precious time bonding at home.

The petition states:
Given that the government have closed down many areas of the community new parents and babies are confined to their homes ...

It's as though whoever wrote it has completely missed the point as to why the government have closed down these areas of the community Hmm

The petition also requests full pay. Full pay during maternity leave even during normal times is at the discretion of your employer. Only statutory pay comes from the government itself. If you want to be paid in full for an additional three months, you need to take it up with your employer.

TriangleBingoBongo · 24/04/2020 09:31

I went back to work from mat leave for literally 3 days before I needed to work from home. So I would have appreciated this.

Actually furlough is probably a better option financially though.

TriangleBingoBongo · 24/04/2020 09:32

My issue is that now with no childcare working from home with a one year old is impossible. I have considered asking to take this time unpaid but I can’t really afford to.

My DH is still at work so I am struggling.

LaurieMarlow · 24/04/2020 09:36

Just who is on full pay at 12 months maternity leave anyway?

Sundaygirlz · 24/04/2020 09:36

Currently on maternity leave and due back in July, wish I'd only taken six months in the first place and being furloughed would be better than SMP!

MangoM · 24/04/2020 09:50

@Sundaygirlz
Similar here. I opted for 12 months, so I'll get nothing from next month. If only I'd taken 9 months from the start! I could've got myself back onto full pay just to 'work from home'!

Bounceyflouncey · 24/04/2020 09:53

A lot of companies will probably be happy to oblige to an extra 3 months off unpaid, paid though? Nah not a chance, FFS. Such a self centred and regressive petition.

Figgygal · 24/04/2020 09:53

It’s a ridiculous self important idea and I’m absolutely astounded people think it’s a priority

Mat leave is about time for recovery and time with your baby just because you’re not able to saunter off to baby groups and out for coffee doesn’t justify this Twaddle

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