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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Extend paid maternity leave for 3 months because of the virus

118 replies

AmazingGrace16 · 23/04/2020 21:25

There is currently a petition for maternity leave to be extended by 3 months (paid) so that those who have missed out on their mummy play dates and lattes can have time to do this.

Aibu or is it an awful,selfish idea?!

It's got over 100k signatures so it's going to be discussed with a response.

Yabu- it's a brilliant idea
Yanbu-it's a terrible idea

OP posts:
CCaK · 23/04/2020 22:12

If we're thinking this way, can the government also pay for my wedding and honeymoon which were cancelled due to covid.

PippaPegg · 23/04/2020 22:17

Do you know how much stat mat pay is? Did you also know that the govt pays employers for it?

I think firms would bite govt's hand off.

Batmanandbobbin · 23/04/2020 22:20

Pfft I’d love this I’m due back in three weeks and after homeschooling my own older two I do feel my time with the youngest has been stolen. But unfortunately that’s life better that we had a group maternity leave then none at all. I did ring to see if they wanted me to put it back a bit but I wasn’t that lucky Grin😂

Crunchymum · 23/04/2020 22:24

Unless you have an absolutey amazing maternity package (which most women don't) the last 3 months are unpaid anyway
So this petition was started by an utter dimwit and signed by 100,000 + more dimwits.

mrsBtheparker · 23/04/2020 22:33

Don't be ridiculous, you seriously expect the country to pay up so you can drink latte? Grow up, it's a tough time, lots of people are missing far more than mere mummsy time.

CheesyMother · 24/04/2020 05:51

I wonder how many of the women who signed this petition also supported the campaign to extend maternity leave for women who have premature babies? That is being introduced in 2021.

I had a premature baby but luckily we were in hospital for a relatively short time. It was literally heartbreaking to see parents coming to visit their very ill babies who weren’t even at the stage where the parents could hold them and were also clearly visiting after a day at work.

That was a real reason to extend maternity leave in certain cases. This really is not.

If anything, I think it’s better that women will be forced to take it easy and stay at home with their babies - the pressure to get out and do “things” with a baby is immense and is responsible for quite a few women developing PND in my opinion...

Daisy169 · 24/04/2020 05:58

Also on maternity leave and think this is a load of selfish rubbish. Was sent it in a group chat and really wish I'd had the balls to say that there - but my new mat leave friends and I drink wine and whinge about our lives every week via video call and I'd miss that interaction Grin

LoisLittsLover · 24/04/2020 06:00

I think this is actually more relevant if you're on a second or subsequent child as I am finding it really hard to juggle both dc all day and give them both the input that I feel they need. Also, if you are due back imminently, settling into childcare is gluing to be a challenge especially if you are a keyowkrer and have to go to an office so no chance of working from home with a baby. Surely nurseries can't allow the normal settling process due to minimising contact

SleepingStandingUp · 24/04/2020 06:01

This is on my baby FB group, I got massively slated for calling it unneeded and ridiculous.
Apparently is isn't really about baby groups, it's about Mom's who might get pnd from being stuck indoors or who can't go and visit family.

The money this would cost could be far better spent on proper MH support for new mothers.

userabcname · 24/04/2020 06:03

I'm on mat leave and I think it's ridiculous! Have not signed.

Peppafrig · 24/04/2020 06:04

Oh boo hoo their maternity leave isn't going to plan, we are missing out on baby groups etc. Do they think that everyone else is having a jolly. We can't go to toddler groups or any other groups either. They ain't special . The people who deserve an extra three months off with their families are those who are living apart from their small children and working on the front line. Literally not seeing their own children for weeks as to not pass anything on. How selfish can people be.

leafyskyline · 24/04/2020 06:13

Yanbu.

I actually think the petition is pretty offensive.

Saying women need an extended paid maternity leave because we can't go to baby groups so our child's development will suffer?!?!?! Ffs. What utter crap.

I do think there is a real need to focus on the effect post-natal isolation is having on many new mum's mental health and the significantly reduced access to postnatal medical services to fix bodies broken by pregnancy. But requesting extended paid leave so women can go to baby yoga is so far from a priority Hmm

I say this as someone on lockdown with a very young baby (and toddler). Not how I thought it would go but a lot of people are having a very different/difficult 2020.

Jojo19834 · 24/04/2020 06:21

Slightly off topic but it’s really useful to hear from all those that are on mat leave through this. When it happened and I was 20 weeks pregnant, I did feel incredibly sad that my mat leave was being stolen from me one way or another. I am now in acceptance that we are all struggling in one way and it is good to hear everyone saying the same and putting it into perspective. It’s really tough and unfair, but this is tough and unfair on nearly everybody somehow.

Sweettruelies · 24/04/2020 06:27

My maternity ends in two weeks. Has the last part of it sucked? Yes, but no more than anyone else. This is my last child so the last bit chunk of time off work I’ll ever get, so I do feel annoyance that I haven’t been able to enjoy it. But - I know in the grand scheme of things it’s just annoyance whereas others are suffering from genuine tragedy and hardship.

Tbh, going back to work (key worker) cannot come soon enough - I am going crazy at home!

Lulublu · 24/04/2020 06:34

I thought the point of mat leave was to look after their babies - which hopefully they have been doing regardless.

barnabybenny · 24/04/2020 06:46

Don’t take advantage of a global crisis - you think it’s fair for companies to have to pay someone for an extra 3 months to have mummy play dates and lattes? So many companies are on their knees, this could potentially finish them off. So many key workers taking the strain, you want them to do this for longer? Maternity leave is for bonding with the baby, you’ve been given more opportunity than usual to do this.

A very selfish perspective, open your eyes to what is going on around you before you get involved in this.

Noconceptofnormal · 24/04/2020 06:49

Our economy is going down the toilet and some people are worried about play dates. Hmm

Whoever signed this gives women a bad name (and yes, it will be women who predominantly have signed this before anyone jumps on me for being sexist) as airheads who don't understand the economy or the gravity of the situation we're in.

I'm embarrassed for anyone who thinks this is a good use of the terrifying amount of money the government is currently borrowing.

Ironically it will be the generation of babies that apparently need these playdates so badly that would be working to pay this money back... I doubt they'd thank their parents generation for such a ridiculous use of money.

stopchewingeverything · 24/04/2020 06:53

I think there are a few other factors to consider here. I have a friend due back in work in a few weeks. She isn't a key worker but her employer is expecting her back and she can't WFH. She hasn't been able to secure a nursery place as they aren't taking new clients at present. So for her, even an unpaid extension would help as the family have no idea what to do for childcare.

Clarabella77 · 24/04/2020 06:55

Going out with mum friends and enjoying playdates is not a right and demanding this extension undermines the hard-won right of securing much-needed time off work to care for a new-born.

PenisBeakerDipper · 24/04/2020 06:56

On mat leave and have not signed.

More important things than baby groups. Have had loads of uninterrupted bonding time with DS. Bit of a shame I can’t show him off but more concerned as to whether I’ll have a job to go back to at the end of this.

Chloemol · 24/04/2020 06:58

Sorry but whoever started or signed that petition are in my opinion, very selfish. Why should they have paid maternity leave or indeed no paid maternity leave extendedwhen we should all be in this together. People are losing jobs, being paid 80% if furloughed which causes issues for some in paying bills, businesses are going under etc

Selfish

Hopeisnotastrategy · 24/04/2020 06:59

Pathetic. Me me me at its best.

Chloemol · 24/04/2020 07:00

@stopchewingeverything. Not the employee problem though, what would they have done if they couldn’t get childcare anyway?

islandislandisland · 24/04/2020 07:02

If it's actually about developing PND then I doubt an extra 3 months off paid cures that.. also an insult to anyone who has suffered from depression of any sort.

3rdNamechange · 24/04/2020 07:11

'Mummy dates and lattes ' ffs