If you have ASD is your thinking very black and white, do you have a strong moral core, and are you a stickler for rules?

[SistemaAddict]

Posting here for traffic, sorry. It might be better in another topic.

Looking back at my life so far, I have always had very black and white thinking, a strong sense of right and wrong, and am a stickler for rules in general although have broken many in my time and it makes me very anxious. I am always concerned with the potential consequences of any bending or breaking of rules or societally defined morals.

I have ASD and understand it to be potentially linked but haven't looked into it in any depth. I am just wondering if anyone else on here is the same and finding lockdown particularly difficult with all the rule breaking and bending going on (if Mumsnet is anything to go by)? If you do then how do you cope with it?

@Bercows omg gifts! I really really hate surprises and getting gifts. I have to open them alone, which my husband has learnt. It's not that I don't like them, it's the expectation.

I have ASD and I’m a bit of a game of two halves. I can be pretty reckless and break the law in some pretty out there ways, but other things (smaller things really) I am 💯 a stickler for the rules. My ex used to find this contrast hilarious. I think it comes down to the likelihood of whether I will get caught/have to lie as lying is something I literally can’t do.

Oh yes, gullible too!

Interesting thread! I am autistic and agree with others that I like rules but only if they make sense

I have Aspergers, I only follow rules if I think they are sensible. I'm not keen on rules. All three of my children have autism. My eldest likes rules, doesn't always follow them himself but gets very angry if others don't, he is a little policeman. My middle son, doesn't do rules. My youngest likes rules, he likes the routine and structure but can get angry over new rules.

So much to say. Don't even know where to start. Am nodding and nodding along to this thread.

I'm going to have to stop opening the stay T home type threads as they are giving me the rage. So many people justifying why they are so special that they need to go out more than is necessary. But then lots of people don't understand necessary.

My mum wishes someone had explained to her when I was little why I didn't like a fuss, didn't want to open presents and hid under my bed. I'm not sure back then that these things were even considered to be part of autism.

I'm autistic, strong moral core and certainly a rule-follower. I like following rules - it's easier to know how I'm expected to function rather than try to work out what is socially acceptable. It makes me angry when others break rules. And yes as to the gullibility and also to liking lockdown - the perfect excuse not to socialise .

I am autistic and I do have a strong sense of fairness/justice. All the autistic women I know are vegan, which I think is likely connected to that.

I do like following rules, but they are the rules I have decided are right, not e.g. following laws for the sake of it. They have to make sense for me to want to do it.

Same here. I have a very strong moral compass and will stick to it, sometimes to my detriment. Then again, if I think a rule is stupid or can't see strong logic behind it I will ignore it. I think others find the 'anal-retentive' facet of ASD quite annoying, but I can't stop correcting their spellings

I was diagnosed with ASD in childhood (I'm female).

I don't see things in black and white. I find I'm good at recognising nuance and seeing things in a more balanced way, and I think that's because I don't tend to think emotionally, which can lead to knee jerk black and white judgments. I find it easier to understand (even if I strongly disagree) with viewpoints that many find horrible, because many neurotypical people have a very strong negative emotional reaction that prevents them from thinking any further. Not that I don't ever think or react emotionally. I'm not cold at all and lots of viewpoints do make me feel awful, I just find it easier to put feelings aside when needed.

I'm not a stickler for rules. I find it easy to see balance and to see where breaking or bending a rule is reasonable, and where it is not. I do have a strong sense of right and wrong, but I also find it easier to have compassion for those in the "wrong", because I can put aside knee jerk reactions to whatever they've done wrong. Sometimes I get confused when people say autistic people can't feel empathy. I see neurotypicals condemning anyone who's ever made a mistake, and I'm supposed to be the autistic one!

I might not be typical of ASD though.

Does anyone get a feeling of intense homesickness sometimes, even if they are actually at home? I'm wondering if it's linked or if it's just a Bercows thing. It's something I've had since I was around age 7.

DD is diagnosed as Autistic. Her take is that rules are to be followed, to the letter. But she mysteriously seems to be exempt from following these rules.
Although she is furious (verbally and sometimes physically abusive) if she is ever challenged about this.

This has caused a lot of disagreement in our household.
She is now allegedly an Adult, as she is over 18.

Im posting because I'd like a perspective on this mindset

My friend is autistic. She is a stickler for rules but not necessarily laws. They are rules that she’s made up about how people should behave. She expects a lot from others and eventually goes no contact with pretty much everyone she knows. It’s not easy being friends with her. You have to learn that she literally can’t help being so self absorbed. It just doesn’t occur to her that other people have the same problems as her.

I have ASD and EUPD so yes very black and white thinking. But for me what I find hard is trying to figure out exactly what the rules are, exactly what the virus is etc...as I hate uncertainty. My anxiety is through the roof at the moment!

I am very intolerant of logic deficiency. And even more so when someone tries to tell me feelings are more important than logic to try to explain why they are being completely fucking illogical.

Yes, I am on the autistic spectrum myself. To me everything has to be black and white, everything has to be done by the book and I have a strong sense of morals and principles. In addition I have a photographic memory and a few specialist topics. Being autistic has made me struggle to maintain friendships (special needs or otherwise) and also I was a prime target for bullying growing up.

Does anyone stim? Is that the correct term? I didn't realise I did until I looked it up. More so when I'm tired.

Yes more so when I'm stressed butI've noticed that as I've got older it's something I do more frequently lots of hand shaking and trying to keep a rhythm

I'm quite literal minded. When I was working I would be given a task, I'd follow the instructions to the letter but would not necessarily see anything else that could add value. And vague or unclear instructions could floor me. I hate being expected to be a mind reader.

I'm the same. Been accused of being autistic. But how can those qualities be bad? I see them as good.

I repeatedly rub my foot on the sofa when I'm sat curled up. It's a comfort and feeds a need for extra stimulation but is particularly prominent when I'm tired or stressed. I cannot be still. As a child I used to wriggle my nose like a rabbit and had to consciously fight to stop it. I probably have attention deficit too.

There were so many signs in my childhood and teens that were missed. One boyfriend used to get really angry with me that during disagreements I'd look anywhere but at him. He used to think the lack of eye contact was because I was desperately trying to think up excuses and lies. I can do eye contact but find it uncomfortable and hide behind sunglasses no matter what the time of year. I need that extra filter between me and others.