What type of house do you live in - kids' behaviour (neighbours)

[Belledan1]

Do you think if you lived in a detached house,(currently live in semi/flat/terraced) your child would be more well behaved and do as they are told? Are you in a detached house, do your kids follows the rules?

I don't want this to be a parent thrashing thread, I know if i was stricter with my teenage child when younger could have perhaps nipped some of this in the bud. DC very cheeky and defiant to myself and DH, good outside for others. Live semi detached, Had issues with DC not doing as told. Neighbours complained one day of noise they can hear. (Yes i know i should not have shouted). They have 2 kids now so get some noise back. But it does make me very conscious of punishments now and think if I was in a detached house i would be more strict and not perhaps let some behaviour go. I was just wondering if some of the people on here who seem to say their kids do as they are told and follow routine have no neighbours??

I just wanted to add i don't mean any physical punishment at all.

You can apply consequences without shouting, OP. I bet your DC's teachers aren't bellowing at them to maintain order.

What?

I live in a detached house and tend not to shout at children. They tend to do better with 5 bits of praise for every negative comment.

As I said Broohaha i did not want it to be a parenting thrashing thread. I don't shout at him now, it is more him being loud when told off (I am getting help for this at the moment ie behavioural problems).

I wouldn't imagine that the type of house makes one iota of difference!

Agree with broo house type is irrelevant you can discipline kids without screaming.

Getting help with my son's behaviour not mine.

You're on to something here. I used to live in a terrace and my kid was a SHIT. I've now moved to a detached house and, bingo! he's like a different kid!

I understand what you mean. I’m in a detached. When I need to seriously tell me kids off (the bickering today in the garden was awful) , I bring them close and talk very quietly about how cross I am. Because I don’t want the neighbours to hear me lose my rag !

Why would living in a detached house help

I don't think the fact I lived in a semi-detached house had any bearing on how I parented my children. They grew up polite, well mannered kids who sometimes pushed the boundaries like lots of kids do but there were consequences to their behaviours that would've been exactly the same if I lived in a palace or in a tent at the bottom of the garden.

The issue isn't the type of house, it's the type of people living in it.

Although it must be more stressful having smaller living space, so arguably more noisey?

If you were in a detached house you'd be stricter???
I'm confused

I see your point OP. That's why I always wanted to live in a detached house even if it's a bit smaller/a bit more expensive than an equivalent semi. I don't want to have to be self conscious about our noise/kids behaviour.
Not so much shouting at them but things like letting tantrums pass. Sometimes it's better to let them have their 5mins of letting the steam off and that can be noisy but it's good to be able to do that rather than shushing them because the neighbours can hear. My youngest (boy, 3) is incredibly loud, whether he's happy or cross. And it's nice not to have to worry about that too much at the moment.

Sorry OP crossed posts with you. I kind of see what you are getting at then, not the shouting to discipline but the fall out of the tantrums. It might make a bit of difference yeah

Maybe stricter isn't the correct word but more able to stick to your guns maybe?

I mean as in i would let him have meltdowns and not worry about the noise. I wish i never posted this now. Thanks for the lovely comment:

The issue isn't the type of house, it's the type of people living in it.

I am a hard working mom who is struggling with my child's behaviour i don't really need this.

I didn't sleep train DC1 because we were in a row house with thin walls.

Then we moved to a detached home and I didn't sleep train the others because I was a pushover. I thought the house mattered, it didn't.

I live in and grew up in a semi and i think if anything it's made my kids learn to be more considerate as they have to consider not disturbing the neighbours. If I'd lived in a detached place I'd probably have let noise go as we wouldn't have been disturbing anyone.

Living in a semi hasn't changed how I've disciplined them as nothing I've done is anything I'd be embarrassed about.

I'd probably be even stricter if we lived in a semi/terrace because I'd be even more conscious of the noise the children make etc. I'm thankful we live in a detached because I feel theres a bit more privacy. If we had to share a wall with someone else then we'd definitely be getting complaints. My boys do not know the meaning of the word quiet!

Yes i should not be such a pushover i agree.

I totally get where you are coming from @Belledan1 It's more that you can stick to your guns no matter how loudly they protest. I have three boys and even when they aren't misbehaving I feel like I'm constantly alert for 'loud' noise & shushing them more than I would if I didn't have neighbours so close. I think I would be less stressed in a detached house.

I know where you’re coming from OP. I have a son who struggles with school (and life) and often goes to his room to punch the bed and shout until he calms down.
Since lockdown our lovely neighbours are working from home and I’m much more self conscious about his tantrums disturbing them.

I also find myself running upstairs to stop the boys punching each other, rather than shouting up as I would normally do. So yes, I think it does make a difference, particularly in lockdown.

On the other hand, I reckon it’s better to have the neighbours judging us than to let the kids get away with stuff, so I’m trying to grow a thicker skin. Don’t worry too much about what they think, you’re doing the best you can.