Anyone else failing at home schooling?

[littleblackdress04]

DD 8 is doing hardly anything- we’ve done a bit of spelling, writing, maths. She reads herself and does loads of art but that’s it. My focus has been on my secondary school DS who has loads of homework & is crying about it all daily but I can’t give him the time he needs as I am trying to work full time too.

It’s really making me feel like a failure- I just can’t juggle all 3 things plus cook & keep the house tidy and exercise & all of it. I feel totally overwhelmed & the secondary school are sanctioning kids with behaviour points if they don’t do work on time.

Aibu to feel like I am failing at everything 🤪

You definitely can't do it all. I was working from home today and had to do a home visit and then come back and my children just wouldn't leave me alone. I was actually crying at how hard it all is. My daughters school chat has been going all day with what they're all doing and I've just felt so overwhelmed too.
I can't believe schools are sanctioning they can just do one really. Everyone is doing the best they can under such difficult circumstances. Sending a huge hug.

Me. 8yr old also. That's it. Nothing else to say. Just refuse to get in to arguments or make a negative out of an already shit situation. He's happy. Healthy. Coping just fine. 2 parents who are key workers now working from home. His resilience and ability to adapt is more important right now. He's above average so we have the luxury of being able to relax and concentrate on mental health and well-being. Not sure if his teacher will have the same opinion, she just made an appointment to call us. Fuck it.

I'm so relieved to see this!

I'm massively struggling. Have two DC, one primary, one secondary. Eldest is expected to do six hours a day...there is so much work. Youngest is very keen and willing but is behind anyway as mild sn and I'm totally useless at explaining things and am totally blagging it and failing.

It's really hard just organising it all, printing worksheets, trying to plan, keeping track of what we've done and not done...sharing a laptop etc

Feel like I might lose my mind

I only have one 9 year old but feel I can't work full time and give him the education he needs.

I now get up an hour earlier and do my work outs then, about keeping up with my 8 hours workouts pre lockdown.

Our cleaner can't come at the moment so my whole Saturday is cleaning now after a full week at work and trying to keep on top of it. Sundays is gardening 😕.

By Friday my head is battered with trying to do work and teach on top.

I feel totally overwhelmed & the secondary school are sanctioning kids with behaviour points if they don’t do work on time.
That’s awful, can you email the headteacher.

Sorry you are having a hard time OP. I'm going through similar with my eldest who is at secondary school also. Tears and he is missing his friends and normal routine. I get him to do as much as he can but don't have him sitting poring over it for hours. I'm also making sure he is focussing especially on the ones he's doing at gcse. He is in yr8 and just chosen his gcses. My other two are 8 and 6 and really resisting home ed. So I am focusing on times tables with the two of them and just ensuring they are reading plenty. A lot of the maths they do at school is easier if they are quick at their tables so I am using the time to focus on that. I tried to teach long division to the 8 yr old the other day and it nearly broke me! It'll be ok OP.

Have you looked at the governments oak national academy? I'm using this for my 8yr old DD and some lessons for my 6yr old ds. It's really good.

I'm sorry, if schools are attempting to sanction if kids don't complete work, they can bloody well do one.

There is a huge variety of circumstances and issues that parents and children are working with. As a parent, I value and respect highly the work teachers do with my kids, because I'm bloody useless at it. Coronavirus doesn't actually change how useless I am at it, and I'm not having my children penalised as a result.

Not to mention, the impact on our kids' mental health, our own mental health - everyone is doing their best. And their best must be accepted and appreciated as good enough.

Unacceptable to sanction the kids. That needs a complaint putting in. You can’t teach, parent and work in a different role at the same time. It’s not possible. It sounds like you have done loads but I think the main aim for all of us over the next however long is simply to stay sane and preserve and build our relationships. Be kind to yourself. You are doing amazingly!

It's a marathon not a sprint op. I feel having the routine and doing a bit each day is more important than doing loads. Try and focus on her achievements and yours each day rsther than whar you haven't done.

I'm sorry for you all experiencing this but thank god someone else had said they are having a hard time. My Fb feed is full of parents and children having a wonderful time and my 8 year old (ASD, ADD) is just lolling around on the floor insisting he can't take 9 away from 13.

I have had an insane headache for nearly three weeks. I

Do what you can, that’s all anyone can hope for. If you are struggling email the specific school/teacher and say that for now you are concentrating on XYZ.

Teachers are setting work because that is what we have been asked to do. Some parents and students appreciate the continuity, some parents and students don’t. That’s ok, we are all difgerent. I am not chasing students/families that are not submitting work from me other than an initial email to check they are ok - not asking about work, but checking they are well and have everything they need etc. And perhaps a follow up phone call if necessary or the family asks for it.

I’m about the secondary issuing behaviour sanctions too. This is no time to turn our homes and safe places in to a war zone over incomplete revision tasks!

I've spent the afternoon reassuring parents that they can only do so much and not to stress, just pick and choose the bits they can manage to get done and leave the rest! I would say about a third of our children haven't done anything at all and some have done every single bit of work we have provided - and then some! The rest fall somewhere in between. There is carton intention of sanctions for anyone!

The final line said " there is no intention of sanctions " not quite sure where the rest came from!

My Fb feed is full of parents and children having a wonderful time

Same...they must have very compliant children. I feel like I'm constantly nagging my eldest to do his work. He is easily distracted and continually chats to me going off on random tangents whilst I beg him to concentrate.

I don't know what the answer is. I'm not going to criticize the teachers...the situation is difficult for everyone but I feel like this is just too hard for parents.

I agree about a little each day. That’s what I’m doing.

The only reason my seven year is achieving anything at all in the day is because I constantly try and corral him. If I were wfh then honestly he would do nothing. Apparently he’s teacher is ringing everyone every two weeks. She knows how difficult he is to motivate and his concentration is zero. So I expect anything is better than nothing from her perspective.

I was in the shower crying yesterday morning. After 30 minutes of listening to the kids whining and moaning about sitting down to do school work, I had reached breaking point. My kids (14 and 12) heard me and asked what was wrong. I told them it shouldn't be this hard to get them to do some work.

I sympathise!

*his

Absolutely. DP still goes out to work. 5am to 5pm. I'm working full time from home plus a 4 and 5 year old at home.

I start at 5am to try and get on top of work. Conference call at 9am. School expect us to do a group messaging session every weekday at 10am for about an hour. Then a house meeting for the school at 1130hrs.
My DCs aren't old enough to do this by themselves. The school work is through the roof and even if I didn't work I think I'd struggle.

Teachers keep asking for work to be submitted for marking. I think they think none of us work. Housework doesn't happen. Exercise rarely happens. I fear my kids aren't having the lovely lockdown their friends are having and I feel really guilty. Work phone rings constantly and some will say work can wait. It really can't.

On the plus side at lease we get paid and don't have money worries I suppose. 🤷🏼‍♀️

You can't do it all. Sensible schools will accept that.

I think some secondary schools have not realised that there is a big difference between the demand of five lessons a day and five hours of independent work. In a typical day at school, there is downtime at changes of lesson, daydreaming while the teacher goes over something they've already understood or listens to somebody else's answer, chatting to friends as they work, and often a lesson spent doing something less demanding like DT/art.

And for a primary child, keep them reading, a bit of spelling, practise times tables (find an app for those last two) and that will do. If we have a cohort who have missed out Egyptians, never mind.

My 13 year old is so far behind on things been set. I didn't realize he had a load to do over Easter too. My friend who's son is in the year below and a teacher, said her son is doing a bit of maths and English and that's it. She's not worried about it.

To be fair, my DDs primary have sent a bit of work and have said it’s ok if they can’t do it! It’s just to keep brain active!

But I worry for my DS- I feel like those kids that have parents that can sit with them for 25 hours a week fare a lot better than those of us who are working too! It feels unfair on my DS- he’s really struggling. I feel like I need to change something but not sure what!

I have 2 DS. One is 6 and one is 8. Neither are being homeschooled. I am working around 50 hours a week. I am trying my best to just keep them fed when I can have a break from work. Their dad is working out of the house about 60 plus hours a week including the weekends because his field is currently so busy. I feel like I can't breathe.

My ds is doing his maths and English every day then we try to plough through the rest...there's huge amounts for every subject including music, art, pe, food, design. I could cry

After breakfast, get them to do joe wicks pe class at 9am then go get ready. Tell them at 10am they need to be at the dining table ready to work with their tablets / laptop.

Your dd is old enough to be working on her own with supervision. Get her on the bbc bitesize website working through two lessons in the morning.

If you're working at your dining table, she can sit next to you and work, so she is independently working but you're close by for help and encouragement. That way you can be working too.

Your ds sounds overwhelmed. He is so stressed about his work he isn't actually doing anything? Is the work set online? Has he a tablet / laptop? Have him sat with you at the table again at ten. Are all his subjects setting one piece a week? Have a time table. Two subjects in the morning ten-noon. Two subjects in the afternoon one-three.

Lunch 12-1 including having them clear up and wash up after lunch.

1-3 ds sat back at the table. Two more subjects work.
Dd one more lesson and then drawing / colouring / painting / craft / playdoh anything. Or she could watch an episode of horrible histories / online sign language / watch the animal feeds at the zoo.

3-4 free time until 4 when they can help prepare dinner, set the table, clean their rooms etc.

You need to have some order or you'll just get more and more stressed. And they need to be doing something. Having two hours in the morning and two hours in the afternoon where they sit and learn will give you time to wfh.

They both must absolutely be tidying up after themselves and doing some age appropriate chores.