Anyone else failing at home schooling?

[littleblackdress04]

DD 8 is doing hardly anything- we’ve done a bit of spelling, writing, maths. She reads herself and does loads of art but that’s it. My focus has been on my secondary school DS who has loads of homework & is crying about it all daily but I can’t give him the time he needs as I am trying to work full time too.

It’s really making me feel like a failure- I just can’t juggle all 3 things plus cook & keep the house tidy and exercise & all of it. I feel totally overwhelmed & the secondary school are sanctioning kids with behaviour points if they don’t do work on time.

Aibu to feel like I am failing at everything 🤪

Can you technically fail at something if you never try? Asking for a friend.

Hahaha!!

The school should not be sanctioning your poor DS. How can behaviour points be applied to the home situation?

I would email the school and tell them in no uncertain terms that you are not legally required to home school. Home schooling is something parents elect to do.

Tell them you have a job to do that keeps the roof over your head and food on the table. You cannot be a full time teacher to a secondary school child and a primary school child as well.

Tell them your DS is struggling and you are not going to stand by and watch him fall apart. Say you will spend a certain amount of time with him each week, but after that no more, as his mental health comes first.

The home is not an extension of school, however much they would like it to be, so they need to back off with their ridiculous behaviour points and make allowances as everyone is just doing the best they can.

Yes - DS Y11 is not speaking to me since we fell out over school work so DH has taken over but has not managed to get him to do anything at all yet this week.
DD Y9 is doing better but is reluctant and is being given so much to do that it's quite daunting. We are both attempting to work full time from home too. It's hard.

@whatnow40 - He's above average so we have the luxury of being able to relax and concentrate on mental health and well-being.

Are you able to see why this might sound awful?

@calleighDoodle has the right idea. It’s all about planning and organisation. We’re doing just mornings on a really clear timetable that’s half fun and half schooling. I work out of the house every hour under the sun at the moment but my DH is doing the homeschooling with 3 kids different ages under 11 and a 6 month old baby. Two of which are SEN.

First few days was a shambles but we got a plan in place, organised, and now they are getting all their work done in 3 hours and having fun the rest of the day (baking skipping etc)

I personally think it’s hard but parenting is hard. Our kids need us more than ever to be the best parents we can be, maybe spend the evening making a plan.

I’d add that the 7yo was taking so much 121 time away from the others that we spoke with his teacher and he is doing work for the year group below. He’s able to do much more of this without help and is helping his self esteem whilst keeping his mind active

I'm pretty sure I'm not doing it good
We got worksheets for the children that were supposed to last us till the end of the last term. I haven't finished them with my child yet. (There is already more work on the website). To be fair when the teacher rang us she didn't put pressure on me about the work but I still feel pressure and feel like others will have done it all.
It had become quite painfully obvious from the work we've done that my child needs the structure and set up and the way school teaches and the incentives they provide to learn. I don't really know what good the work we're doing is. I'm sure that it's not helping like it would at school.
She's 6
It's not fun for me or her.
And her behaviour is getting worse. Not just due to this but I'm sure it's contributing

It's a bloody nightmare, op.

This morning I got up at 5.30am and went for a run, just so that I could get some head space. Then I sat at the table and did my work for 2 hours. Then at 9am I did Joe Wicks with the dc, went on a conference call for half an hour, then taught my ds(9) about the water cycle whilst simultaneously doing a reading comprehension about butterflies with dd(5). At 10.30 I had another conference call for an hour. By lunchtime I was f*cked. Then this afternoon I had a 25 page PowerPoint presentation to go through with each child, a meeting and several work emails to deal with.

We have failed to do the daily maths tasks for both dc, and my dd refused to do any reading.

I don't have the brain capacity for all of this.

Och, I think you're all doing grand. Sometimes 'good enough' is plenty

@ButtonandPickle19

Fab solution! Must be a weight off

Friend of mine shared this and I found it really reassuring stay strong OP!

jonoxtobywrites.wordpress.com/2020/04/21/7-tips-for-home-schooling-your-children-during-lockdown/

formerbabe secondary school kids need to work independently. You aren't responsible for their work. I don't help DD13 at all

He has a desk in his room but I won't allow him to work there as its online work and I don't allow screens in their rooms...he works downstairs where I can supervise...he is easily distracted and the topics for his subjects are now unfamiliar whereas pre Easter holidays it was stuff they'd covered in school. So he asks me questions constantly. He's only year seven so I do need to help him manage his time and prioritize work effectively.

Primary school kids only need 1 hour full attention whenever you can spare it. Just be as patient and positive as you can.

My dd was already behind and getting extra help at school so I'm very conscious that she was behind the other kids and I don't want the gap to widen.

I'm a sahm and feel like I'm drowning...i don't know how working parents are doing this.

My DD is 2 years behind as it is

I don’t work at the moment so in theory it should all work out swimmingly.
It doesn’t.
My eldest has autism and is quite demand avoidant, so getting him to do work is a real struggle, so I have to be very low demand with him. We probably just about manage 1.5- 2 hours in the afternoon shortly before his screen time, there is no chance he would do anything in the morning. I usually try to get him to do some maths and some English and some reading if I’m lucky, no point stressing about arts or science. luckily the school are not expecting assignments, though sometimes I wonder if a bit more pressure from school might help with getting him to do more work. He has always been quite behind at school and I do worry about this setting him back even more.
I have another DC in year 1. She is usually quite receptive to school work but recently has become more demand avoidant, copying her brother.
Add to that all the house work and preparing meals. House is a bomb site with everyone at home all the time and the younger one being a whirlwind, leaving a trail of toys, crafty things and books wherever she goes.

But we are all enjoying the low stress environment, not having to do the school run, being able to have a bit of a lie-in and chilling in the garden.

Your school sounds insane sanctioning kids. Mine certainly isn't. We are setting pupils 3 hours of lessons a day due to all homes having different circumstances. I sit at a desk preparing my lessons with my 10 year old doing their work. She manages to do some each day but not all that has been sent. Again her school's expectations are realistic. Please just do the best you can and try not to stress over it. I am taking that approach with my daughter.

Because there's going to be such a huge disparity with what people are able to do, and that just isn't fair on the kids who can't do any.

Yes. There will. But not just based on what schools set, but what families do with their children anyway. It is known. They are not all in the same boat. They will not all return at the same point.

This lockdown is going to massively disadvantage the groups of students who were already, without this, most likely to underachieve at 16. Year 10 disadvantaged students will not be able to catch up if they are not being made to do their work now. There just isnt the time.

Primary and ks2 i wouldn't worry as long as they're doing something regularly, and READING every day!!!

Although schools have been shut since 20th March, so nearly 5 weeks ago - they have only 'missed out' on 2 weeks and 3 days of actual schooling with the Easter holidays chucked in there.

Is school so immensely pressurised that kids lives are over/they'll get so behind with 2 weeks of missed school?!?!?

We only have 4 more weeks and it'll be the May half term. Then the 6-7 weeker, then it would be the school summer holidays anyway.

Try to plan a loose timetable. Try to get a little bit done each day. Maybe try a start chart? Bribary? Reward with technology?

I'm not trying to be an arse. I know how hard it is. Mine didn't do anything today, but did do some yesterday and day before.

It's new territory and just like starting school, you get used to a new routine after a while.

I'm struggling more than I imagined would a sended up crying in front of my children yesterday. Due to the nature if DHs work he has to shut himself away for conference calls hours at a time. As his boss knows where he is he is phoning him at all hours of the day. I am trying to work full time, help the children with their work, supervise them during their free time so they don't beat the shit out of each other as well as keeping on top of cooking, cleaning and shopping that we would normally share. I have no time for me.

If it makes you feel better, I’m a grown arsed adult, currently studying GCSEs part time... I haven’t even looked at my homework properly in weeks... I don’t have the concentration or motivation.

I can only imagine how kids are dealing with their entire routine changing overnight.

It’s all about planning and organisation.

I hate this kind of comment.

It is NOT all about planning and organisation. It’s also about the child you have, how willing they are, your workload, your relationship, where you live, how much support you have, your (and your child’s) mental state, your physical health and probably a million different things.

The work the school is sending us is just bollocks. It’s boring, pointless busy-work. “Read 3 paragraphs about the difference between the Gregorian and the Julian calendar”. Why?? It’s way beyond his level, I am struggling to understand what he knows and what he doesn’t know, struggling to explain stuff, and he’s fighting me every step of the way. He’s upset and angry that he can’t see his friends, I’m trying to get through my own work (pretty intense coaching and online workshops) and feeling guilty that he’s on a screen so much and my partner is pulling his hair out over his own massively frustrating job.

I emailed the school and they told me his teacher is not available.

Today I gave myself permission to give up and not feel guilty about it. We will read and do a bit of mathletics, he can help me cook and do a bit of painting. That’s it.

Someone tell me how this works with a 5yo and a 2yo. The 2yo who wants to sit on your lap all the time, climb all over you, whack the laptop when you are wfh or trying to homeschool the 5yo. Also I'm sick to death of meal planning for us 4 and the 2 grandparents we ended up with before Lockdown who can now do very little for themselves due to mobility issues. My dh has to work. I brokedown at work yesterday as i couldnt continue /live like this any more.

Homeschooling does not work with a 2yo about.

My school - as in, the school where I work - has given teachers the strict message that they have not to set work that entails new learning of any kind. The work set should build and develop existing knowledge and skills. It is NOT parents' job to teach.

Go easy on yourselves.

I'm doing my best and that's all we can do.
On our school home learning page there is one mother who has gone completely OTT. Her DC not only does all the work set but loads more too. Constantly posting. For Easter we all got treated to her child's virtual round the world tour. A different country every day, including models made of landmarks, lots of artwork and project stuff on each country and so on. Poor kid.
I can't help feeling she's showing off but actually she's just making others feel inadequate. Not me.