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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can family members drop off presents if you they don’t close by?

107 replies

CD41 · 22/04/2020 16:10

By close by I mean my family live about 10 miles away.

It’s DS’s birthday soon. A couple friends and mil have sent gifts directly to our house from where they ordered from.

My family want to drop things over because they’d already bought things before lockdown. By this I mean just drop it over and leave outside the door, not socialising with them and obviously I’ll wipe things over once it’s unwrapped - I’m not sure how I can sanitise wrapping paper 🤣

Is this okay? Is making a 10 mile journey just for children’s birthday presents okay? It’s not me making the journey but my family. I don’t want them to get in trouble. I don’t expect gifts for dc but they like to do It.

Would aibu to ask if they dropped it all off a few days before his birthday? So I can leave in my car or the garage and if any virus is on them it will hopefully die in the few days before he opens 😭🙈

OP posts:
GoodbyePorpoiseSpit · 22/04/2020 19:03

I'd do that. I have to travel further than 10 miles to do a 'big shop' so can't see the difference in terms of safety.

gingerbeerandlemonade · 22/04/2020 19:03

If they did it via the supermarket then technically that would be fine...

Snakeshoes · 22/04/2020 19:05

Of course it's fine.

Sennetti · 22/04/2020 19:06

christ......message is not getting through is it......4 weeks down the line now!!

Aragog · 22/04/2020 19:14

Our local post office won't handle gifts or unnecessary parcels (eg Ebay etc) at the moment

How do they know what is inside the parcel?

Our post office is accepting mail as normal. Our post delivery is also working as normal, for both letters and parcels.

DH did do a similar journey in terms of distance and he also collected a gift for DD - however, the detour was only half a mile out of his way, if that, as he had to make another essential journey - delivering cash to a vulnerable client. He also tied it in with dropping off some important documents at the same house as the gift, and did a find shop on his route back. He just chose the day to match the gift collection.

Hopefulworker · 22/04/2020 19:17

I’d say no. Not an essential journey and the main reason you’re not supposed to drive for non essentials is because if you have a car accident thats NHS resource x

Saucery · 22/04/2020 19:18

Yes, that is fine.

Alsohuman · 22/04/2020 19:19

The likelihood of having an accident is lower now than any time in the last 50 years.

SunShine682 · 22/04/2020 19:23

Let them do it. It’s not a big deal

I had both sets of grandparents round to drop Easter eggs off and several houses on my road had the same happen to them.

Slith · 22/04/2020 19:28

@Alsohuman

That article doesn't say that the roads are any safer, just that there are less people using them. The risk of having an accident could have increased but because of the lower volume of traffic there are less claims.

The people round here that are driving are mostly driving like nutters.

Alsohuman · 22/04/2020 19:31

What part of this did you manage to miss?

Less driving means lower accidents and fewer payouts, which are likely to boost insurers’ profits

Fewer accidents equates to safer roads in my world. Perhaps it means something else on your planet.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 22/04/2020 19:43

@Aragog they know what's inside because they ask. I guess I could lie but I'm not going to. They are trying to reduce the risk to their staff and the postaworkers by only accepting essential parcels. Last week I had some legal documents that I had to send off and that was allowed. My son went in later that day to post something he had sold on Ebay and wasn't allowed to send it. Today my neighbour tried to post s birthday present to her daughter and it wasn't accepted.

Klonda · 22/04/2020 19:44

@AlsoHuman

Fewer accidents doesn't mean a lower rate of accidents. If there are 1,000,000 journeys taken one day, and there are ten accidents, is that more of less safe than a day with just 100 journeys and 9 accidents?

pinksoda35 · 22/04/2020 19:44

(half of)Mumsnet has gone batshit crazy I think!!
I would not have a problem with this.

saraclara · 22/04/2020 19:47

I've done it twice in the last three weeks. The first time I did my food shop at the supermarket near my younger daughters, and the second time I did my walk in the countryside where my oldest daughter lives, so the present drop odds were factored into necessary journeys. Both girls live ten miles from me.

The brief chat we had each time (from at least three or four metres away, and in one case through a window) also did wonders for my mental health.

newbingepisodes · 22/04/2020 19:47

I have to get a certain brand of something for my DD which is only available in Asda and my nearest Asda is over 10miles away. If someone stopped me and asked me why I couldn't just shop at the Morrisons near my house I'd explain - however, my friend lives near the said Asda and I dropped a bday present on her doorstep during my trip there.

MeerkatMolly · 22/04/2020 19:48

No. Of course not.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 22/04/2020 19:50

If they did it via the supermarket then technically that would be fine...

I think the government closed that particular loophole via an amendment to the regulations today. So it’s now an offence to stay out even if you had a reasonable reason for leaving the house in the first place.

saraclara · 22/04/2020 19:51

I posted my dad’s birthday presents, but arguably it would have been safer to get in my own car, drive for 20 minutes, leave presents in their garden, and get back in my car and drive home than it would have been to spend 10 minutes in the tiny post office which has no social distancing measures in place and where two people were breathing down my neck as if it was a normal day, and where staff didn’t care about distancing / gloves / mask either.
With benefit of hindsight I’d probably have taken them.

Totally agree with this. The first time I needed to get something to a daughter, I convinced myself I should post it. And that time I spent queuing in our tiny post office was really stressful. I felt like I was breathing virus soup. Whereas I could have got in my car, left it on her doorstep, come home and breathed nothing but my own air.

That's what made me decide to take things in person next time.

Ineedcoffee2345 · 22/04/2020 19:52

Fine my family did this for dd 3rd birthday last week. My mum and dad stood at window and sang happy birthday to her. Made her day

MintyMabel · 22/04/2020 20:06

Make your decision and be happy with it. The school prefects here will insist it’s a no. I prefer people to act like adults and weigh up the risks.

Timefor45 · 22/04/2020 20:40

@Ineedcoffee2345 that must have made her day and yours, sounds lovely for your mum and dad too. Happy to read stories like this of people using common sense and helping to keep GPs mental health strong, when they’re probably really suffering this many weeks in to not seeing their families.

Tillygetsit · 22/04/2020 23:59

I cannot see the problem with this but then again it's my birthday in 11 days Wink

GlummyMcGlummerson · 23/04/2020 00:05

I would do it 🤷‍♀️ once again the self appointed Stasi's failing to see common sense. Where is the risk? My nephew's birthday is next week. He'll be 5 and I'll be making the 3 mile car journey to drop his present off. I'll take the tiny risk of pranging the car to make a little boy happy and DSis a little less stressed about giving her son a lovely day

bobbiester · 23/04/2020 00:09

You can discuss the risks as much as you like. But quite simply it's illegal. You would be committing a crime.