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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can family members drop off presents if you they don’t close by?

107 replies

CD41 · 22/04/2020 16:10

By close by I mean my family live about 10 miles away.

It’s DS’s birthday soon. A couple friends and mil have sent gifts directly to our house from where they ordered from.

My family want to drop things over because they’d already bought things before lockdown. By this I mean just drop it over and leave outside the door, not socialising with them and obviously I’ll wipe things over once it’s unwrapped - I’m not sure how I can sanitise wrapping paper 🤣

Is this okay? Is making a 10 mile journey just for children’s birthday presents okay? It’s not me making the journey but my family. I don’t want them to get in trouble. I don’t expect gifts for dc but they like to do It.

Would aibu to ask if they dropped it all off a few days before his birthday? So I can leave in my car or the garage and if any virus is on them it will hopefully die in the few days before he opens 😭🙈

OP posts:
britnay · 22/04/2020 17:47

"What’s the risk? And don’t say they could have an accident, might break down or would be wasting petrol."

Why not? There has been an increase in people doing ridiculous speeds on the road, just downright dangerous driving.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52370352

www.itv.com/news/granada/2020-04-21/crackdown-on-speeding-motorists-after-rise-in-drivers-caught-flouting-limits/

makingmiracles · 22/04/2020 17:47

If they can tie the delivering of them in with essential food shopping Id say yes. Not everyone lives 100yrds from a supermarket so where I am most have to travel quite a few miles to get to Tesco.
I will be doing the same with MIL bday next month, doing essential food shopping on the way, possibly shopping for her also and then dropping gift plus shopping by her front door.

Sciurus83 · 22/04/2020 17:47

No, obviously. But you know that

Elouera · 22/04/2020 17:49

I posted gifts a month ago. Package, weigh and print the postage labels at home. Here is a list of large postage slots, so you don't even need to go into the shop. Once received, they face timed us so we could watch them open the gifts.

www.royalmail.com/d8/parcel-post-boxes

funnylittlefloozie · 22/04/2020 17:49

If they have to make a special journey to do it, it seems a bit unnecessary. Maybe they could plan to shop in a supermarket in your town for a change, and drop the presents off on the way.

peppermintcapsules · 22/04/2020 17:49

Yes, as long as they say they need to take a shit in your loo. It's apparently just fine and right and just to let random delivery men into your home during lockdown if they need the toilet so can't see what's wrong with their driving over to drop off gifts. They may have to drive to get to the post office to post them, may as well wheel on over.

firawla · 22/04/2020 17:52

I feel like it’s fine?! Tell them to bring some basics in the car with them if they’re worried about getting stopped, as they could always drop them to yours at the same time to give them an “excuse”?!

Alsohuman · 22/04/2020 17:52

The roads are safest ever apparently.

www.standard.co.uk/business/uk-car-insurers-urged-to-refund-claims-windfall-a4414841.html

Gruffawoah · 22/04/2020 17:53

Our local post office won't handle gifts or unnecessary parcels (eg Ebay etc) at the moment

What are they accepting then, and how do they know? People that want them sent will just say they're important anyway! May as well not bother if they're going to gatekeep what is worthy, that eBay sale might be important to whoever is recieving it, or money for food for the week to the seller.

Alsohuman · 22/04/2020 17:56

Our post office is taking anything you care to send without question.

Carrie7469 · 22/04/2020 18:04

I don’t understand the thinking behind “it’s against the rules but it’s fine”. Of course it’s not fine. Over 18,000 people have died in this country. How many more need to die before people realise that essential travel only means just that. Non essential travel is an insult to key workers and the many thousands who have lost their lives.

GREATAUNT1 · 22/04/2020 18:09

Get him one if those yellow suits ... that Walter White wore in Breaking Bad & he can open his presents in the garden. Or you could always do a FT or Skype where family can open his presents for him. At least the excitement will still be there.

IntermittentParps · 22/04/2020 18:11

I'd think that going to a post office where you could potentially cough/sneeze on someone, or they on you, is more risky than driving there and back in your own car and leaving presents at a safe distance.

Gruffawoah · 22/04/2020 18:14

Me too intermittentparps.

SkelingtonArgument · 22/04/2020 18:16

How will a 10 mile drive and a parcel drop cause anyone to die? Many people are driving twice that distance to the shops or for work or for exercise or for child contact or for medical appointments.
If the presents are left outside and there is no physical contact at handover, there is no risk to anyone. To be extra careful, leave the bag for 72 hours before opening

funnylittlefloozie · 22/04/2020 18:17

Im a key worker driving a 40+ mile round trip to my essential work every day. I'm unimpressed with people preaching to me about when i can or cant leave the house in my (limited) spare time.

WineAndTiramisu · 22/04/2020 18:19

I would say that them delivering them is safer than posting them!

MyHeartIsInCornwall · 22/04/2020 18:23

I think this a non-sensical situation. Instead of getting in to a car and driving 10 minutes or so, dropping a back with zero direct contact inside the garden, getting back into the car, driving home...let’s go to a post office or shop, queue and hope people stick to social distancing rules. Make contact with multiple surfaces etc and hand a parcel to someone and receive a receipt... and that’s the better option? In this case I’d say to use your own common sense. If your son is young I’d say do it as one off, but if he’s older and can understand, I’d tell him to wait.

LadyofMisrule · 22/04/2020 18:43

I'd offer to do a week's shopping for them, then pick up the gifts when I was dropping it off.

WidowTwonky · 22/04/2020 18:44

YABU. But you know that.
Wait to receive the presents at a later date. No big deal

Nannewnannew · 22/04/2020 18:50

I hope everyone that says the risks are too high don’t intend to drive at all when lockdown has ended. In 2019 there were 157,630 injuries on UK roads with 1,870 fatalities.
Why, when the numbers are so high do we carry on driving?

Nanny0gg · 22/04/2020 18:55

Our local post office won't handle gifts or unnecessary parcels (eg Ebay etc) at the moment

I don't see how they a) would know or b) are allowed to decide

they're either open or they're not.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 22/04/2020 18:59

Our local post office won't handle gifts or unnecessary parcels (eg Ebay etc) at the moment and I dont blame them.

There's not much point in them being open really is there? How do they know what's in the parcel anyway, surely you'd just lie and say it was something essential. With the amount of post offices closed over recent years they might find they're gone in the next round of closures.

opticaldelusion · 22/04/2020 19:00

You can't even go to the shops for milk according to mumsnet so doing this is literally killing people.

Abouttimemum · 22/04/2020 19:03

I posted my dad’s birthday presents, but arguably it would have been safer to get in my own car, drive for 20 minutes, leave presents in their garden, and get back in my car and drive home than it would have been to spend 10 minutes in the tiny post office which has no social distancing measures in place and where two people were breathing down my neck as if it was a normal day, and where staff didn’t care about distancing / gloves / mask either.
With benefit of hindsight I’d probably have taken them.