To think DD isn’t earning enough to live alone in London?

[Sunnydaysp]

DD is 27 and earns £65k a year. She currently has a long commute in to London for work each day but following her recent divorce and sale of their home, she wants to move to London for a fresh start. She has no DC, so is looking at one bed flats which appear to be around £1,500-£2,000 a month in rent, not to mention all of the bills on top too. I appreciate that DD earns a very good wage for her age, however, I’m concerned that she will be stretching herself too far by attempting to live alone and paying an extortionate amount in rent rather than house sharing, which seems to be the norm for most young professionals. She seems to think she can easily afford it, but DD has never lived alone and doesn’t really seem to appreciate the cost of living, as ex husband always managed the household outgoings etc. AIBU in thinking that DD will be stretched in attempting to live alone on her salary in London with the rental amounts described?

The best thing you can do is support her in her dreams and then support her if they don't work out like she has hoped. She's 27 with a good job. She can make her own decisions.

The best way you can support her at 27 is by encouraging her to make her own decisions. Take a neutral stance, she really doesn't need your advice.

If she tries it and finds it doesn’t leave enough to live comfortably on, she can move on in 6m. I’m guessing location is key for her at this time which makes sense if she is trying to build the kind of lifestyle she hopes for.

She’s 27 and earning a good salary. She’s been married and divorced. I think you should leave her to live her life, she’s an adult and I’m sure she’ll work things out for herself.

Sorry but I agree...

Very funny op.

She’s old enough to be married and divorced. YABU to interfere.
Why doesn’t she try it and see. Moving out info a house share if she needs to is far easier than a divorce.....

maybe think of shared ownership?
www.sharetobuy.com/shared-ownership-london/
out of interest get her to log on - I would suggest she looks for resale & check where she works & other transport links there are some "nice" fashionable coffee suburbs south of London

Bluesheep8 Wed 22-Apr-20 09:58:36
She’s 27 and earning a good salary. She’s been married and divorced. I think you should leave her to live her life, she’s an adult and I’m sure she’ll work things out for herself.

Sorry but I agree...
.....
I too agree.

At 24, my middle daughter told me she was moving to Australia.

My brain wanted to say 'no, no stay here, you'll never manage, it's expensive and you don't have a job to go to, where will you live, you don't know anybody, it's so far away I'll never see you'.

My mouth said 'go for it, it will be great.'

And it is great. Just nod and smile, OP. She'll work it out.

£4k pm at 27?

Leave her alone!

And whoever said that she was 'very young...' words fail me.

She can afford it - until I got a partner, I was regularly spending half my takehome on rent, plus bills and food (after Uni I couldn't face house share for a bit, and moved around for a few years).

That's the salary DP was earning when I'd just had our second child and was getting my freelancing running (so very variable income) - we were paying similar rent (further out, so 2 bed house for that - but then higher commuting costs), and lived just fine with 2 adults and 2 kids!

Your job is to be more of a sounding board rather than to spoon feed advice and expect your dd to follow it. If you have the capital, perhaps you should see how she gets on for 6 months and lend / give her a hand with a deposit on a property. She should consider getting a 12 month agreement with a 6 month break clause. This way she can leave after 6 months, but the ll cannot increase the rent before 12 months.

Loads of new build apartments to rent in EAst London. Usually two bedroom flats have two bathrooms, so if she rented as a flat share she would be cutting her utility bills in half. Many blocks also have concierge service and gyms . I think The Wharf, local paper for .canary Wharf has an online version. It's packed with estate and letting agents.

You can find places in London much cheaper than that! Mine isn’t that high.

I'd echo what many have said on here already.
To start with, she's a grown woman at 27 and you have no say in what she does or doesn't do with her salary....or even knowing what it is for that matter. None of your business. If she asks for advice, support her in what SHE wants to do, instead of being so negative.

Secondly, the money she is earning is massive for a 27 year old, big enough for her to decide to live on her own and in an expensive rent if she wishes. I have never earned that amount myself! My own daughter of a similar age earned about £24,000 and managed perfectly happily on her (tho' not in London I admit).

Thirdly, yes rents are very high in London. You can rent cheaply but in some damp, dirty hellhole of a place in a high-crime area....and some areas really are not the place for young women living alone. For a decent place, 1500-2000 per month are the norm, and perfectly doable on that salary.

Just stop worrying and leave her be.....

For those saying “mind your own business”, DD has chosen to involve me in these discussions,

Well you did say that your daughter thinks she can afford it so I think that’s why people thought you should leave her to it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

young family member has decent 1 bed in decent commutable area outgoings under £1000 best to go for one third at least ownership & check costs (which show on the website) they will need 10% deposit for that third & usually upfront buying cost except for stamp duty because most shared ownership is below that value so unless you staircase (increase percentage you own) you are unlikely to come into that category

I lived in various houseshares during my time in London, early 20s I loved it, I lucked out on finding a room in a house with like minded people and we had an amazing time. I then moved into one which was hell on earth, absolutely horrendous, the housemates were a mixture of really dramatic, messy, really petty, and to be honest really boring. I then moved to a room in a house with a live in landlord, it was okay but always felt awkward. If I could have afforded to rent by myself I would have in a heartbeat! It sounds like a great plan for her to be honest, much better than a houseshare at her age (no disrespect to anyone who does, and I am sure a lot like it).

Why doesn't she go into a house share? She's only 27 and it seems very young to be living on your own

I was younger than that when I moved to live by myself. What the fuck has being 'young' got to do with not wanting to houseshare?

I’be just phoned DD and she wasn’t aware that these ‘shared living communities’ places even existed

Oh god no you haven’t 🤦🏼‍♀️

She can easily manage on her salary, I’m in East London (Shoreditch) and even here you could get a one bed for around £1,100.

I don't know what kind of lifestyle your dd is looking for, but I would be really surprised she couldn't afford to rent a decent flat in her chosen areas as well as having more than enough money left to cover all her other outgoings. Ds and DIL earn around that between them. They rent a lovely two bed flat, with garden for less than your dd is planning to spend. Their previous flat was one bedroom, brand new, and under £1000 a month. They eat out a lot, run their cars and support their dc on their salary, so I'm sure your dd could easily manage. Even with travel costs (around £200 pcm from zone 6 ), she should be OK.
If I was her age, having gone from parents to husband to single, I think I'd be looking forward to being just me on my own for a while, so flatshares etc would not appeal to me at all.

Renting is dead money. I’d wait and see what the property market is gonna do and make an informed decision from there. She could pick up a bargain and it would be a sound investment. Just an idea.